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11-08-16 04:40 AM
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How do you start a conversation?

 

11-08-16 04:40 AM
Ultrajeff is Offline
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I'm not very good at this. Whenever I meet someone for the first time, I studder a lot, avoid excessive eye contact, and don't respond much. It's an awkward situation for me. May you inform me on how to converse excellently? I would definitely like to learn from the pros.
I'm not very good at this. Whenever I meet someone for the first time, I studder a lot, avoid excessive eye contact, and don't respond much. It's an awkward situation for me. May you inform me on how to converse excellently? I would definitely like to learn from the pros.
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11-08-16 06:07 AM
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Starting a conversation can definitely be difficult, especially if you don't know the person. I'm fortunate to never really have had any problems with this so I may be able to help.

Making new friends and strengthening connections can give a great feeling. You mention meeting people for the first time so I'll focus on that. With people you don't know, talking about the current situation you're in is always a good idea. If you're meeting new classmates, ask what they did before this. Always introduce yourself either right away or shortly after (say your name, shake hands if it's not a hassle) and make sure you get their name. Try to show interest in what the other person is doing or going to do, and if you're both going to do something you can just talk about that. Making a joke or just a witty comment immediately gives a good first impression.

I could say you should try to keep eye contact, since this will make you appear more confident and open, but some people just aren't comfortable with that. Trying to force yourself to keep looking at someone will only make things worse. Instead try to at least look close to them (you don't have to look them straight in the eyes, maybe slightly above or below). Also, I've seen people stare straight into someone's eyes without a break which can actually be more discomforting. Relax, imitate the other person a little and you should be fine.

Stuttering can be a pain for the person who experiences it but what you should know is that quite literally almost no one will think any less of you because of it. The only thing that matters is how you react to it. And here's how you react to it: you don't. I had a classmate back in high school who had a permanent and instantly noticeable stutter when talking in groups larger than a few people. He didn't look nervous or anything, he just had that stutter. He was very popular and no one ever mentioned it (and that was in high school). Making fun of someone for something they have zero control over is so low that not even the most childish high schoolers will find it clever.

As for what to talk about, you could ask how they're doing out of courtesy but that's not really a conversation topic. They'll probably say they're fine and ask you the same thing. The key in these first conversations is getting to know them better. If there's not much time to chat, try some small talk (difficult, I know) and make sure to give a "talk to you later" or something when you both go elsewhere. Now you can continue the conversation later. If you both have time you can start talking about any subject that seems suitable and continue from there. Be yourself but show interest, ask questions, joke and laugh and tell your own stories (just don't talk endlessly) while trying to keep track of their reactions.

Finally, try to empathize with the person. Some people like talking, some people don't. Some people like listening, some people don't. You'll quickly find that there are people who expect you to lead the conversation and people who almost seem to refuse to let you lead it. Don't freak out if there's nothing left to say. Try to steer the conversation somewhere else or casually leave the conversation if you don't want to continue. It's not your responsibility to entertain them. You don't have to like or be friends with or even talk to every person, but every person you do interact with is another connection made. All these things get easier with experience.
Starting a conversation can definitely be difficult, especially if you don't know the person. I'm fortunate to never really have had any problems with this so I may be able to help.

Making new friends and strengthening connections can give a great feeling. You mention meeting people for the first time so I'll focus on that. With people you don't know, talking about the current situation you're in is always a good idea. If you're meeting new classmates, ask what they did before this. Always introduce yourself either right away or shortly after (say your name, shake hands if it's not a hassle) and make sure you get their name. Try to show interest in what the other person is doing or going to do, and if you're both going to do something you can just talk about that. Making a joke or just a witty comment immediately gives a good first impression.

I could say you should try to keep eye contact, since this will make you appear more confident and open, but some people just aren't comfortable with that. Trying to force yourself to keep looking at someone will only make things worse. Instead try to at least look close to them (you don't have to look them straight in the eyes, maybe slightly above or below). Also, I've seen people stare straight into someone's eyes without a break which can actually be more discomforting. Relax, imitate the other person a little and you should be fine.

Stuttering can be a pain for the person who experiences it but what you should know is that quite literally almost no one will think any less of you because of it. The only thing that matters is how you react to it. And here's how you react to it: you don't. I had a classmate back in high school who had a permanent and instantly noticeable stutter when talking in groups larger than a few people. He didn't look nervous or anything, he just had that stutter. He was very popular and no one ever mentioned it (and that was in high school). Making fun of someone for something they have zero control over is so low that not even the most childish high schoolers will find it clever.

As for what to talk about, you could ask how they're doing out of courtesy but that's not really a conversation topic. They'll probably say they're fine and ask you the same thing. The key in these first conversations is getting to know them better. If there's not much time to chat, try some small talk (difficult, I know) and make sure to give a "talk to you later" or something when you both go elsewhere. Now you can continue the conversation later. If you both have time you can start talking about any subject that seems suitable and continue from there. Be yourself but show interest, ask questions, joke and laugh and tell your own stories (just don't talk endlessly) while trying to keep track of their reactions.

Finally, try to empathize with the person. Some people like talking, some people don't. Some people like listening, some people don't. You'll quickly find that there are people who expect you to lead the conversation and people who almost seem to refuse to let you lead it. Don't freak out if there's nothing left to say. Try to steer the conversation somewhere else or casually leave the conversation if you don't want to continue. It's not your responsibility to entertain them. You don't have to like or be friends with or even talk to every person, but every person you do interact with is another connection made. All these things get easier with experience.
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(edited by aartbastiaan on 11-08-16 10:25 AM)     Post Rating: 3   Liked By: Juliet, RDay13, sillysoul,

11-08-16 02:49 PM
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Your not the only one who feel this way.....lemme give my input of things about this. As said starting a convo is not easy at all. Someone you will meet for the first will say hi and its only right to say hi back. For me it takes time....and process here is how things work with me. I am still shy when I meet new people. I will only start off with small words and not much, but when I generally start to talk to this person more I would get more conformable around him or her. I don't.....rush things that's not how I work. I rather do something that is easy and simple so there wouldn't be any hassle about that.
Your not the only one who feel this way.....lemme give my input of things about this. As said starting a convo is not easy at all. Someone you will meet for the first will say hi and its only right to say hi back. For me it takes time....and process here is how things work with me. I am still shy when I meet new people. I will only start off with small words and not much, but when I generally start to talk to this person more I would get more conformable around him or her. I don't.....rush things that's not how I work. I rather do something that is easy and simple so there wouldn't be any hassle about that.
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11-08-16 03:11 PM
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If I'm meeting someone for the first time, I don't really do anything diferent that how I would normally talk to people, I just say hi and then start talking about what we like.

If I already know them, about 80% of all my conversations either start by me saying Meow or BRUH.

If I'm meeting someone for the first time, I don't really do anything diferent that how I would normally talk to people, I just say hi and then start talking about what we like.

If I already know them, about 80% of all my conversations either start by me saying Meow or BRUH.
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11-08-16 03:53 PM
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I usually say Hello to start a conversation then take it from there,could go anywhere from Hello
I usually say Hello to start a conversation then take it from there,could go anywhere from Hello
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11-08-16 09:14 PM
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Usually with hey but sometimes with hello if I'm seeing them for the first time.
Usually with hey but sometimes with hello if I'm seeing them for the first time.
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11-11-16 11:01 AM
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I am not a very awkward person but i find it hard to start conversations too. I either wait for the other person to speak or talk about something recent
I am not a very awkward person but i find it hard to start conversations too. I either wait for the other person to speak or talk about something recent
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11-11-16 11:04 PM
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I have the same problem. It's very difficult for me to carry a conversation unless it's something I feel very strongly about, and I almost never start conversations. I'm much more like the kind of person that stands back and listens and may or may not offer an opinion, but will point out an inconsistency in a statement or story or offer an alternate point of view. All of this is in person, of course. I'm not really sure why, but I'm just far more comfortable conversing over the Internet than I am in person.
I have the same problem. It's very difficult for me to carry a conversation unless it's something I feel very strongly about, and I almost never start conversations. I'm much more like the kind of person that stands back and listens and may or may not offer an opinion, but will point out an inconsistency in a statement or story or offer an alternate point of view. All of this is in person, of course. I'm not really sure why, but I'm just far more comfortable conversing over the Internet than I am in person.
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11-12-16 12:06 AM
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m0ssb3rg935 : Try this one.

how heavy is a polar bear





enough to break the ice hi im yoshi
m0ssb3rg935 : Try this one.

how heavy is a polar bear





enough to break the ice hi im yoshi
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11-12-16 07:35 AM
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I'm a very awkward conversation starter, especially if I don't know anything about the person. Usually I just end up staring at them and smiling, until the other person breaks the eye contact and starts looking for a way to escape.

But in all seriousness a good way to start a conversation is to look for something you both have in common. Don't start with how do you do, instead with what the other person has been up to during that day. If they're not talkative be the one in charge and tell about your day. It doesn't have to be anything big, I like to be honest so depending on the mood I'm in I just go ahead and say I've played video games the entire day and had a great time. What about you, do you like video games? If not, what do you like to do on your free time? Football? Nice tell me more, I'm not too familiar with the sports. And hopefully the conversation goes on for a good while and you are able to make a new friend.
I'm a very awkward conversation starter, especially if I don't know anything about the person. Usually I just end up staring at them and smiling, until the other person breaks the eye contact and starts looking for a way to escape.

But in all seriousness a good way to start a conversation is to look for something you both have in common. Don't start with how do you do, instead with what the other person has been up to during that day. If they're not talkative be the one in charge and tell about your day. It doesn't have to be anything big, I like to be honest so depending on the mood I'm in I just go ahead and say I've played video games the entire day and had a great time. What about you, do you like video games? If not, what do you like to do on your free time? Football? Nice tell me more, I'm not too familiar with the sports. And hopefully the conversation goes on for a good while and you are able to make a new friend.
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