Be it sexual, political or religious, a coming-out is not something to do half-hearted. Doing it wrong can lead to dire consequences, from rejection and even death  (I wish I were kidding) so make sure you do it properly. Here's how I did mine.

- Make sure you are "sure" about it. As far as I can tell, I've always been attracted to other guys, although I had no name for that attraction. When I was 6, I remember feeling some kind of attraction to a guy in my sister's class (she was two grades older) and I imagined us participating in a kids' TV show. As I grew older, I realized that my attraction to men was just going stronger and stronger. I did have a few fantasies about women but they were pretty rare.
-Make sure you can talk about it to trustworthy people. For some reason, I opened up to my uncle. His first answer back: "Are you comfortable with it?" and I wasn't at the time (18 years old).
- Try finding people to interact with. A few weeks after my 18th birthday I started going to private clubs. There was some satisfaction to it, but there was no love or relationship and I felt very empty. Then, months after my 23rd birthday I answered to this personal ad. It was mostly physical in the beginning but then I started feeling attachment...
- Come out when you know it's safe, especially if the burden of your secret is too heavy to carry. With Marco (that was his name), things got a little more serious and we partied together for New Year's Eve. A few days after, my parents asked me how was that party. It was at that very moment that I decided to get out of the closet at last. I didn't think my parents would reject me; in fact they told me that "they knew all along". I guess it was just intuition for my mom, but my father "really" knew about it. Since he's well versed in computers he could always find out the websites I visited no matter how careful I was...
- And then, come out "strategically" to other people you trust. For example, I'm interning at a relatively conservative news outlet and they (probably) don't know about my true self. I did let hints that I'm not alone in life and that I have in-laws, but they seem to assume it's with another woman. They never said it explicitly so I didn't have to correct them - I still want to be honest with myself.
- Even towards dear relatives, keeping a secret is sometimes the best thing to do for both your sakes. I'm also agnostic and want to renounce Catholicism. My mother, who seemed more shocked about that than my homosexuality, suggested that I wait for my grandfather to die before I do it. It's a wise decision as he's still a faithful man. And at nearly 88, his time should come soon (not that I'm looking forward to it, of course).
- Finally, don't be shy to answer questions however stupid they may sound. For same-sex couples, there are the inevitable "who's the woman", "were you abused" or "who's the top". Just answer them honestly if you feel comfortable enough, and that should dispel myths.


In short, tread carefully, tread lightly and only open yourself to people you can full. Should the worst happen when you open up, try having a backup plan if it's possible (staying at a friend's or a relative's house for a while for example). If it can't happen... I guess moving to a larger city where there are more resources would be your life vest. I sincerely hope it won't come to that.