...Do you find the term "gay" derogatory against yourselves? I'm one myself, and I find it to be horribly, horribly offensive. Maybe it's due to the fact that when someone calls you gay, you don't know whether he/she/they is being mean or if he/she/they is just calling you gay because, well, you are gay.

It's just so mind-bogglingly confusing, especially if you consider how the term's meaning on popular language evolved through the years... First it was a synonym to "merry" used in the 1910's, then it became an insult against excessively merry/"effeminate" folks (even though most of them aren't homo), then a derogatory term against homosexuals in general, and nowadays it's being re-integrated into non-offensive speech as a "friendly" way to refer to the latter group?! Seriously, society?! Sigh...

So, folks, what's your opinion(s) on this accursed word?

I feel somewhat opposite of you about the term. Usually you can tell by someone's tone on whether or not they mean it offensively and I think that makes all the difference. I don't think the term "gay" should be used as an insult. I know a lot of the younger crowd kind of have it hard-wired in their vocabulary now-a-days though so they say it with no repercussion, they aren't used to people getting upset over the word. I don't think most people who say it these days mean it as a derogatory term like they did while I was growing up and even more so while my parents were growing up. 
I have a good bit of gay friends though and all of them proudly say "I'm gay" so I may be a bit biased on the matter because if someone calls them gay they're just like "Yes, I am." I myself am not gay, I claim to be pansexual (have fun with your jokes about pans and other kitchen accessories) and I have had my fair share of being called gay and all that lot. It's not a big deal to me, I'm not gay but it's never bothered me to be called gay. It's a circumstantial topic though, I'm sure people who have received a lot of backlash for their sexuality have a more similar opinion to yours. Even my own mother didn't react harshly when I told her, so I've never really had to deal with hate for what I identify as. 
There is a much better "gay" acceptance in today's world though, so who knows what the word will imply 10 years from now.

styrofoamboots : Heh, I won't jest with your sexuality, since sexual diversity is already something common to me thanks to the furry fandom. I've met several pan-, omni-, bi- and demisexuals on my years as a furry, so I feel comfortable around most people.



But yeah, about the whole acceptance thing... Well, you probably don't know about the average Brazilian's position against homosexuals/homosexuality. A large number of people actually theorize and fear about a forthcoming "gay dictatorship" around these parts, just because the government (well, a fraction of it) is supporting pro-diversity campaigns/programs or creating some themselves!

This isn't as ridiculous as it sounds once you consider that Brazil actually went through several dictatorships through the ages, so the fear of a new coup is always menacingly looming above us... Oh, who am I kidding! It truly IS as ridiculous as it sounds...

I, too, am not properly gay, and refer to myself as pansexual. However, I also know many, many gay people who strongly prefer the term gay. I and several others don't really like the term "homosexual," because these days it's often used by people who are conservative on this issue and consider "the homosexual lifestyle" an abomination. It is a term that lately and also in the past has been used to relegate gay people to the "other."

However, I'm open to people using whatever terms they like as self references. And I don't consider either gay or homosexual to be really bad terms. It's just good to be aware of how the terms might be perceived. For me, this is the first I've heard of a preference for the term homosexual as opposed to gay, so I am glad to know that this is a thing.

In the west, you're not likely to be jailed for homosexuality, and much less be shunned for.
With a lot of strong LGBT representation appearing in recent years, it makes sense that gay is being used in jest.
I used to be quite conflicted over it's use, I always took gay as an homophobic word, but that changed when I met several LGBT couples using the word among themselves.
In a deeper context, considering the long history of social stigma against homosexuality, the friendly use of "gay" is a sign of LGBT groups deflecting such treatment, to mock and laugh at prejudice instead of being bullied by it.
Besides, "gay" just sounds funny.

This is an interesting subject. The word gay in itself is not derogatory as in its originality it really is just meaning to be happy. "I feel gay today" for example would indicate just a synonym for being happy. Today though due to increased beliefs of labeling it really in effect creates more of a stereotype when used to classify an individual in remote sexuality. The actual main problem though is breaking from the fact that we are "human" and breaking from what we really are versus creating a dialogue to indicate something that is really personal and should only be between you and the people you choose to share it with. There is also the matter of legality as if the word gay were literally translated into law and said definition were binding then as an implication being gay becomes "legal" but also it can be "illegal" if such a measure were ever created.
            Really how we describe ourselves is a matter of personal choice and should be conveyed respectfully and returned respectfully even if it is not something we personally accept. A point I was making in another post but, not to emphasize here is that we all coexist in some way. Ultimately however we each have our own individuality and as such should go by this guideline for self description. You know what you mean by you and maybe other people don't but, as long as at least you do there is your own personal success right there. I am not fond of the word gay honestly and don't use it to describe myself in any truthful way at all. I may refer to myself that way but, it is for the sake of avoiding an argument that I really have no interest in at the time being if that is my choice. My belief is that I am human as I find this reference acceptable and that as a human who I am is my choice. Creating a label that generalizes people into a particular class of nature is as clumsy as it is stupid and lacks foresight and hindsight while creating a particular division for us to just be stuck in. In laymen's terms that is like saying "you are now in the box".
              In all honesty I do not think I would be heartbroken if someone referred to themselves as gay and meant that was specifically how they describe themselves as liking the same gender but, it is up to you in all ENTIRETY as to how this is described. The real challenge in all of this is the simple thing that people, regardless of how they feel, should accept things for what they are or people for who they are, not the creation of a structure that is used as a mode of transportation to simply get person from point a to point b to point c. We create our own structure when it comes to who we are and if there is no respect given for that then it is the loss of the party who chooses not to give it. I want to end this on a positive note so I will say this, we all deserve to be with someone so let that be the goal.

now i'm not sure if anyone said this or not but in the old days, Gay was originaly a term meaning happy. Now i am gay (Gay = Happy to me)but i am not homasextual!

Me personally I prefer to use the word homosexual, because well, they are homosexual.

Of course I respect my friends and call them "gay" if they don't like being called homosexual.

I also never use the term homo. but rather the full word. it sounds less abrasive.

Human communication is so diverse and so dependent on effects other than verbal, 'gay' can mean anything.  Our tones, our facial expressions, the way we say things and the context is so much more important than the word selection.

"Oh my god."  

Those words, by themselves could mean anything.  Did someone open a christmas present?  Did they win the lottery?  Did they spot an unavoidable car wreck in front of them?  Is their mother dead?  It could be any of those.  It's all based on how they say it.

Gay is a little more constricted because of the specific group of folks it acknowledges.  I have friends who call themselves gay.  Very few gay people I know call themselves homosexuals because they consider it stuffy, too clinical, and it makes them think of times when they felt much more persecuted 10 to 20 years ago.  They don't hate the word but they're much more comfortable saying something else.

I fall well within the boundaries of my culture's "NORMAL," and I'm generally accepted across the board.  I have no idea what it's like so I don't think it's fair to offer any insight on the conversation.  I can say my experiences lead me to believe most gay folks I know prefer the term gay over anything else.  They are outright offensive when they're in comfortable social situations, calling each other queens and ladies and such.  

But everyone has their own comfort.  As long as you're being nice about it, or not outwardly mean, use whatever you like.

Sorry for not replying to anyone in the past few weeks! I've been reading all of your posts and yeah, I've come to accept the term "gay" in a positive way :> It's amazing how an internet discussion can change a person's mind, eh?

But... Have you guys and gals watched that video of the Lady Gaga fan "gaying out" on public TV that went viral recently? I think it's effeminates like that boy who give a bad name to the gay community <.<  But he's a strong supporter of the whole LGBT movement AND has a deal with American Apparel now, so I think it's okaaaaaaaay?

I'm not gay, but I am bisexual. Probably, one day, I will lose my interests into females and be gay. Is that what I want? To be COMPLETELY Honest? Yes. But my mind has always liked female. Boys can be pretty cute. But I had always liked female and not male. I, honestly find ‘homo’ more offensive than ‘gay’. I have never felt offended when someone called me gay, even when I wasn't interested in males. But if someone calls me ‘homo’... Oh gosh I find that offensive. That is because gay in Dutch means 'homo', and it sounds VERY offensive... If you say homosexual, then.. I do not know if I feel offended.

How I got interested in males? I do not know.
Honestly, I think my sisters are against gays. Because they say they do not understand how two boys can kiss each other, and they find it weird.
And that, is why I don't want them to kbow I'm bisexual. I will tell my parents one day – maybe when I lost interests in females –, but not today.

I personally think that gay can be degrading or just a plain old simple in context it's given. That's how must of the English language works. I feel like gay is moving away from the insult it once was (1990's to early 2000's) and to just a word that's less stuffy and long than homosexual.

Man, I love being called gay so much.

One of my favourite things to do in school:
When some lame straight cis boy calls me "gay" in a derogatory way, I start hitting on them. Then they never talk to me again. Which is what I wanted in the first place.

The term itself is kind of a banner I like to fly. Sort of like, "Yeah, I'm gay. Deal with it." 

Well, here in Europe it seems like the words "gay" and "lesbian" have overtaken the role of the word "homosexual". For example, in my country, we have one of the world's biggest gay festivals, and I can say that the word "homosexual" is nowhere to be found in the many advertisements it has or information recalled about it.

There are a lot of derogatory words in my language for homosexual people, but "gay" isn't one of them. I just hope I never get into a discussion like this in a chat for using a word widely accepted where I live but hated somewhere else in the globe.

Well, that's my European opinion. If I was born in an English-speaking country, maybe I could say whether or not there are more derogatory terms beyond "gay" (though the evil nature of humanity tells me they exist in all languages). Honestly, being gay is a condition which can make you different from your group of friends, and being called by it shouldn't be derogatory. Outside of your friends it's a different thing, but well, I don't think "gay" is derogatory. For example, I get called "freak" for watching anime shows and going to anime conventions, but I don't think it's derogatory, just a classification. I'm being called what I am, why should that be an insult? I would apply the same method for "gay" if I was homosexual. Why not taking it as "gay" being used by the rabble since it's easier to say than "homosexual"?