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01-02-25 07:32 AM

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The Light at the End of the Tunnel~ A Poem
You don't know how you got there but now you're nearing the light at the end of the tunnel.
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Dragonlord Step..
10-31-13 09:28 PM
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10-31-13 11:58 PM
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The Light at the End of the Tunnel~ A Poem

 

10-31-13 09:28 PM
Dragonlord Stephi is Offline
| ID: 920399 | 185 Words

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I wrote this one about ten minutes ago. I didn't really like the second-to-last stanza because I reused 'face' too many times... but I can't  think of anything else to put there.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I don’t know how I got here,
A tunnel dark and narrow,
But it’s so cold and bleak here
It seeps into my marrow.

There’s a light at the end,
So blindingly bright,
And I see someone standing there,
Saying I have lost death’s fight.

“You’re here, it’s too late,”
The figure coos,
And as if for the first time,
I see I’m broken and bruised.

I can’t recognize the person,
Face obscured by the light,
Whose voice I can’t remember.
I hoped it was you,
But that was too good to be true.

I reach the light in pain,
Smiling at the ground I’ve gained,
And the person takes my hand,
Helping me to stand.

And then, she smiles, and I look into her face-
I gasp, as it must have been misplaced.
It must be a mistake, because that face

Was my own.
I wrote this one about ten minutes ago. I didn't really like the second-to-last stanza because I reused 'face' too many times... but I can't  think of anything else to put there.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I don’t know how I got here,
A tunnel dark and narrow,
But it’s so cold and bleak here
It seeps into my marrow.

There’s a light at the end,
So blindingly bright,
And I see someone standing there,
Saying I have lost death’s fight.

“You’re here, it’s too late,”
The figure coos,
And as if for the first time,
I see I’m broken and bruised.

I can’t recognize the person,
Face obscured by the light,
Whose voice I can’t remember.
I hoped it was you,
But that was too good to be true.

I reach the light in pain,
Smiling at the ground I’ve gained,
And the person takes my hand,
Helping me to stand.

And then, she smiles, and I look into her face-
I gasp, as it must have been misplaced.
It must be a mistake, because that face

Was my own.
Vizzed Elite
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Post Rating: 2   Liked By: B619ook, epicamazing,

10-31-13 09:32 PM
Mr. Zed is Offline
| ID: 920403 | 33 Words

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Dragonlord Stephi : Wow. This was one of those deep but enjoyable poems . Makes you think . And I dd not think the word face was misused Only used to perfection  
Dragonlord Stephi : Wow. This was one of those deep but enjoyable poems . Makes you think . And I dd not think the word face was misused Only used to perfection  
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10-31-13 10:11 PM
SacredShadow is Online
| ID: 920440 | 98 Words

SacredShadow
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I think this is just simply great. Impressive as always, all of your work is, I think you always do a phenomenal job with all of your writing. This is really deep which makes it so amazing. I like and appreciate all of your work that you put into this poem. I think you did an amazing job as you always do. Great work and keep it up. I enjoy reading your works of art and I look forward to reading your next one!

Keep up the awesome work, and this has a lot of fantastic poetic elements. 
I think this is just simply great. Impressive as always, all of your work is, I think you always do a phenomenal job with all of your writing. This is really deep which makes it so amazing. I like and appreciate all of your work that you put into this poem. I think you did an amazing job as you always do. Great work and keep it up. I enjoy reading your works of art and I look forward to reading your next one!

Keep up the awesome work, and this has a lot of fantastic poetic elements. 
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10-31-13 11:32 PM
Uzar is Offline
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Great job as always. This is surprisingly deep. You didn't overuse "Face" in my opinion. Nice job.
Great job as always. This is surprisingly deep. You didn't overuse "Face" in my opinion. Nice job.
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10-31-13 11:58 PM
Dragonlord Stephi is Offline
| ID: 920521 | 86 Words

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Mr. Zed:
A user of this:

Thanks! I always get really happy inside when people compliment my work. Was it really that deep? I don't think so. But I'm glad to know I didn't overuse 'face.' One of my biggest pet peeves when I read a book is if a writer uses the same adjective or describing noun in the same sentence or even paragraph, so I take pains to avoid it.

Razor-987 :

Thank you, really! Your gracious comments put a smile on my face.
Mr. Zed:
A user of this:

Thanks! I always get really happy inside when people compliment my work. Was it really that deep? I don't think so. But I'm glad to know I didn't overuse 'face.' One of my biggest pet peeves when I read a book is if a writer uses the same adjective or describing noun in the same sentence or even paragraph, so I take pains to avoid it.

Razor-987 :

Thank you, really! Your gracious comments put a smile on my face.
Vizzed Elite
Giving Ged and Eragon a Run For Their Money Since 1998


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-27-12
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Last Active: 182 days

(edited by Dragonlord Stephi on 10-31-13 11:59 PM)    

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