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11-11-24 07:05 PM

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SuperCrash64
09-13-13 11:26 AM
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SacredShadow
09-16-13 04:58 PM
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To those who think there homes are bad.

 

09-13-13 11:26 AM
SuperCrash64 is Offline
| ID: 884279 | 111 Words

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Alright. I've made this poem, for the sake of people getting mad over there home not being so great. Yea yea I understand it can be better. but still. I decided to come up with this. Please enjoy!


A home. Your main dome.

Like a Wave of a cave. The home is shelter.

It covers, it helps, and defends.



Even though my Home is not all that good. I'd rather kick up with a ten foot. Because this has food, protects me from danger,weather.

I'd rather stay here With wooden floors carrying my feet, Rather then Stay out. being cold and bereft of a home Across the Darn street.


Enough Said.




Alright. I've made this poem, for the sake of people getting mad over there home not being so great. Yea yea I understand it can be better. but still. I decided to come up with this. Please enjoy!


A home. Your main dome.

Like a Wave of a cave. The home is shelter.

It covers, it helps, and defends.



Even though my Home is not all that good. I'd rather kick up with a ten foot. Because this has food, protects me from danger,weather.

I'd rather stay here With wooden floors carrying my feet, Rather then Stay out. being cold and bereft of a home Across the Darn street.


Enough Said.




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(edited by SuperCrash64 on 09-13-13 11:32 AM)    

09-13-13 11:55 AM
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Wow.....I understood that message right there. Crash this poem is really good. ^-^
Wow.....I understood that message right there. Crash this poem is really good. ^-^
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09-13-13 02:15 PM
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Time for Divine Aurora's side commenting! Now when you say "To those who think there homes are bad.", you automatically assumed they are talking about the condition of the house they live in judging by your writing style, maybe some people aren't taking about the condition of the house they live in is in bad condition, maybe it's a "bad home", in the sense of they live with a physical abuser and are being abused. (Just saying) . Anyway's nice poem!
Time for Divine Aurora's side commenting! Now when you say "To those who think there homes are bad.", you automatically assumed they are talking about the condition of the house they live in judging by your writing style, maybe some people aren't taking about the condition of the house they live in is in bad condition, maybe it's a "bad home", in the sense of they live with a physical abuser and are being abused. (Just saying) . Anyway's nice poem!
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(edited by Divine Aurora on 09-13-13 02:19 PM)    

09-13-13 03:24 PM
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I was wondering the same thing as Divine.  When I read the title, I actually thought you meant a rough home life. Then I read your poem and wondered if you were strictly talking about the physical aspects, or if the lines in your poem can also be a metaphor for things going on at home?

Also, if you'd rather kick it up with a ten foot, aren't you kinda saying the ten foot is better than your home?  XD  I guess I'm a little confused by the message.
I was wondering the same thing as Divine.  When I read the title, I actually thought you meant a rough home life. Then I read your poem and wondered if you were strictly talking about the physical aspects, or if the lines in your poem can also be a metaphor for things going on at home?

Also, if you'd rather kick it up with a ten foot, aren't you kinda saying the ten foot is better than your home?  XD  I guess I'm a little confused by the message.
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09-13-13 03:30 PM
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Singelli :  

Divine Aurora :

What I mean't by bad homes as in they think it's bad compared to other ones they see. 

The basic point of this I was saying I'd rather choose a home then being outside on the streets.


And also I was looking for something to rhyme on that part lol .

Singelli :  

Divine Aurora :

What I mean't by bad homes as in they think it's bad compared to other ones they see. 

The basic point of this I was saying I'd rather choose a home then being outside on the streets.


And also I was looking for something to rhyme on that part lol .
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09-13-13 03:40 PM
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Nice poem, indeed. It sends off a nice message, despite being pretty short.

I really don't have a problem with my house, to be honest. I've got food and shelter, and a bonus feature of an amazing family. Isn't that all what one needs?

I like the message though. Cool job.
Nice poem, indeed. It sends off a nice message, despite being pretty short.

I really don't have a problem with my house, to be honest. I've got food and shelter, and a bonus feature of an amazing family. Isn't that all what one needs?

I like the message though. Cool job.
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09-16-13 04:40 PM
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Not bad, Crash, not bad at all. It's open to interpretation, which is the only kind of poetry that I enjoy. Keep on working on your work, man. I'll be looking forward to seeing your next piece of writing.
Not bad, Crash, not bad at all. It's open to interpretation, which is the only kind of poetry that I enjoy. Keep on working on your work, man. I'll be looking forward to seeing your next piece of writing.
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09-16-13 04:58 PM
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Nice job with this poem, even though it is short, sweet and simple, it really gives off a message like goodboy had said and I really like that about it. I like my home and my family, but then again everyone wants bigger and better and more of, but I am glad that you addressed this in your poem, some people take things for granted, even the little things, but having  a home nevertheless is better than being on the street homeless and cold. So well done with this poem, it is to the point and I think it really says a lot. Well done man! 
Nice job with this poem, even though it is short, sweet and simple, it really gives off a message like goodboy had said and I really like that about it. I like my home and my family, but then again everyone wants bigger and better and more of, but I am glad that you addressed this in your poem, some people take things for granted, even the little things, but having  a home nevertheless is better than being on the street homeless and cold. So well done with this poem, it is to the point and I think it really says a lot. Well done man! 
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