Hey guys. First off, sorry Ive been gone so long. But once you read I hop you will understand. You see I'm 18 and I have two boys ages 14 and 10. They are essentially my god-kids. Long story short, their mom isnt the best role model and their step-dad is just a drunk who really doesnt care. The real dad is in a different state for different reasons which I wont mention here. But he loves his kids and momma wont let him talk to them. So they look up to me as the male role model in their life.


I am struggling to do as much as I can for them. I always talk them about growing up and stuff. The 10 year old had some questions about the family life tape he saw in school. So you can imagine how awkward that was for me. 

Any advice as far as stuff I can do to help them out? Or anybody in a similar situation?


Thanks
Travis

tlstrickland9 : i was worried when i saw you say you were 18 and the oldest of them 14,relief when i saw the rest.
If there dad really cares about them he really should see them unless theres a very good reason against it.it would be good for them to know they do have a dad that loves them.
As far as your position id recomend honesty and understanding,and make it clear your doors always open.
Meeting with people in similar situations is also good for kids to break the feeling of isolation.

Sorry for the late reply.

Yeah there dad does have a good reason. Parole. That and their mother wont let him have any contact. He never did anything to hurt them dont get the wrong idea. I do remind them of their dad and sneak ways of communication between them as best as I can. 

I would say that really if you wanted to you could try and adopt the kids. You would have to go through CPS and stuff but it might be worth it. Then you would have to tell them about their parents when they grew up though and that would be hard.

Sorry for the late reply. Adoption might be best. I'll keep everyone up to date. For now everything is calm.

As a father, my best advice would be to tell them the truth. All because someone has been to prison doesn't make them a bad person. Personally, I trust convicts over cops and most of the cons I know are good people once they get out (save a few). Anyways, to agree with thenumberone, as long as the kids know that your always available is one of the best things you can do.

When you say there step dad is a drunk, do you mean just drinks a lot or is he abusive when he is drunk? If that is the case, the less the kids spend time with him the better and if the mom is with someone like that, then it says a lot about how much of a role model she is. I'm just going off my impression, I'm not trying to talk trash about either of them so please don't think that. My mom was a bad role model for me but I used her example to make myself better by not making the same mistakes she made so it could be a blessing in disguise so to speak.

I don't know how the system works where you live but where I am, adoption is a pain. Mainly because of social service and is time consuming but you would need your own place, a job, and plenty of food. I think you have to have all that for like 6 months or something but I may be off on the time frame. You also have to be able to prove the mother unfit. That may be hard to do unless she has a record or you can prove some "bad habits".

I hope this helps and best of luck.