A few years ago I started doing some Survivor winner rankings and write ups on here but ultimately gave up on the project as opinions change over time and I feel like it is kind of hard to rank and compare players who played very differently. So instead in 2022 I thought it’d be more fun to compare seasons as a whole. They seem more comparable as I’ll generally be ranking them based on how enjoyable I found them as a viewer. Taking into consideration things like filming location/visuals, twists and formats, and cast and narrative. Admittedly there are seasons on here that I’ve watched multiple times whereas other seasons have been a one off watch so while I hope that wouldn’t skew the results too much it does need to be noted. Obvious spoiler warning is in order as I’ll be talking about the seasons from start to finish, including the winners.

So anyway I’ll start with the season I currently have ranked 41/41 (bottom of the barrel) and I’ll work my way up.

Survivor S24: One World

This in my opinion is the single worst season ever produced and simultaneously the single hardest season to sit down and rewatch. Which is a shame really as it had both a very unique and interesting format as well as a top tier winner, so it does have some things going for it. That’s kind of where that ends sadly. To begin with, the season takes place in Samoa. The location itself looks just fine, although it had already been used several times before so there wasn’t any novelty in that aspect. What was more interesting, however, were the tribe divisions as well as the initial format. The 18 players were split into two tribes of 9, divided by sex. The men occupied the orange Manono tribe whereas the women occupied the teal Salani tribe. This hadn’t been the first time Survivor split the tribes into the two sexes. In fact it had happened twice already in Survivor: The Amazon & Survivor: Vanuatu (and if you count just one episode then it also happened in Survivor: Panama by technicality). This was still a welcome division though as those were all early seasons so it had been a while. The biggest change to the format came through the One World twist, as the season title implies. While normally in Survivor the tribes are sent to live on different islands, this season they had them coexist on the same island, at the same beach. This usually only happens when there’s around half the cast remaining and the tribes merge into one. In my opinion the decision to force the men and the women to live together was a stroke of genius. It invites chaos and drama on one end, and creativity and opportunity on the other end. Players were able to both blur the gender lines as well as reinforce the gender divide. Whatever they decided to do, everyone was able to witness it. There is no moment of privacy when the entire cast is living together watching your every move. It also created divisions in the tribes, with some wanting to stick to the tribe lines while others were more willing to work with each other.

Ultimately the cast overall stuck with the divide. Living in different campsites near each other, arguing and bickering over supplies and resources and enforcing the split of men and women. Tension was always at a high. And in general the season started off fine. Not the strongest start I’ve seen to a season, but it was definitely a highlight. This divide and living together shtick came to an end when they decided to swap the two tribes around day 12, following a normal format after that. I understand it as it would’ve been impossible to remember who’s on what tribe in every camp scene when they’re all talking to each other. Still, I hope they do something like this again at some point (which they haven’t yet up until the present).

Now up until now I’ve been fairly positive about this season. So why would it be ranked all the way at the bottom of my list? Probably the fact that this is the single worst cast of Survivor I’ve ever seen. And there have been some bad ones. Both from an entertainment as well as a strategic point of view these people had no business being out here. You know it’s tragic when the first one off, Kourtney, who sadly had to leave due to an injury, is among the 3 most likeable castaways of the season. The cast just dragged down the season so, so much. The 9 men probably had a combined IQ of 130, 120 of which coming from Tarzan, the crazy, mentally unstable plastic surgeon (who admittedly had his fun moments). The rest were either idiots, had horrid personalities, or both of the above.

The man with the biggest game sense, Colton, a racist and insufferable presence, took control of the tribe. Being obnoxiously whiney when things didn’t go as he wanted didn’t help with that. Credit where credit is due (?) (you’ll see why the ?), he convinced his whole tribe to vote off his arch nemesis, black guy Bill (who was actually fun TV). However, he was so whiney and impatient, he did this after the men’s tribe had just won immunity. The men would have had a 2 person advantage over the women had he just shut up and waited until they lost a challenge. Worst part is that in order to forfeit the immunity they just won, the men had to unanimously agree to give immunity to the women. Including Bill. After all other 7 men said yes to giving away immunity, Bill, knowing he was the target, could have easily just said “No Jeff” and saved himself another round. While he was fun TV, I never said he wasn’t a dumbass either. So, good on Colton for leading a pack of idiots. Luckily for the season his whiney self caught up with him and he was medically evacuated right after. Normally I hate seeing this happen to someone but it felt poetic with Colton. Especially since there has been much speculation that he put the whine on and exaggerated his symptoms so he could leave.

The women were a little better than the men. Not by much, but by a noticeable amount. Losing Kourtney first hurt, but there were a few fun characters left. Kat was an absolute idiot, but she did it in an endearing way that made her likeable. Sabrina, Kim and Chelsea were all three likeable people, but were lacking a bit in the entertainment factor. It seems that you can’t have both in this season. Sadly even the women had their own Colton equivalent, named Alicia. She and him actually got along well, shocker. Her victim of choice was Christina. I did feel bad for Christina after witnessing the things they said to her but I’ll be honest, she has the personality of a wet tissue so it didn’t affect me as much as I’d like to admit. Still, being compared to a special needs student, by a special needs teacher (how the hell did Alicia ever qualify for that job), is not okay. At least it was poetic justice that Christina made it further than her by one round, something which Alicia was more upset by than losing the game of Survivor. And she’s supposed to be a special needs teacher! I won’t bore you with any of the remaining duds on the season, me not writing anything is essentially the same as talking about the impact they had on me or on the season.

As for the season itself, after Colton’s little stint it died off completely. The aforementioned trio of women; Chelsea, Kim, and Sabrina, ran the whole season. They were with the women initially, they agreed to secretly work with some of the men at the tribe swap, only to backstab them at the merge and ride the waves with the rest of the remaining women. It was boring, predictable, and an absolute snorefest. The rest of the players were so stupid that they didn’t do anything to stop this from happening. In fact, the only resistance they encountered was by a man called Troyzan. That should say enough, but it wouldn’t be fair to ignore him completely. Troyzan was the lucky holder of an immunity idol, as well as one of the men the women betrayed at the merge. To his credit, he was able to win a clutch immunity challenge when he was a target, although he was so obnoxious about the whole thing that it kind of stained the moment. But hey, I’ll take anything I can get in this snoozefest of a season so he’s forgiven for being a little extra. Troyzan did a big hahahaha I’ll idol out Kim the power player, only to incorrectly play his idol and put the nail in the coffin for the men. As a power move, Kim, the eventual and predictable winner, sent him her own immunity idol through the mail after the season had concluded. Which is badass and the most entertaining thing she’s ever done.

And that really concludes how the season went. It was boring, predictable, filled with idiots, and the only drama coming from absolutely horrid people. Which I do think the show is currently missing out on a bit, as sad as that seems. You just can’t fill the cast with all lovely and good people and expect a dramatic product. But please never to the extent of One World.

Up next is a season that is probably the single most frustrating thing to watch. Stay tuned