I feel like it's gotten to a point where I need to make a thread like this. I don't know where else to go. I don't have anyone. Nobody seems to care about me, and I don't think they ever did. Nobody on Vizzed falls into this category, and I don't even know anyone on here. I'm just talking about real life. I'm in a place in my life right now where I don't think there is any hope. I can't get a job, and I can't get a job for a lot of different reasons. There are people in my life that won't let me do for myself. My dad is the problem.

I'm stuck living under his rules, and I can't get out of it. He won't let me work. Every time I get to a point where I'm able to start making a little bit of money, just enough to pay my bills and buy food, he tries to kick me out of the house. This has been going on for years now, and this is why I can't move out on my own and get away from him. I don't know why I'm telling anyone this, and I feel stupid for even talking about this kind of stuff or even sharing this with anyone. What a lonely, pathetic, sad, depressed, person I am.

It's just that if I don't get this out, I feel like I might try to take my own life or do something else that is crazy. This is crazy! Making a thread like this is crazy! Who the hell does this on here? Especially, someone as old as I am. I just feel so helpless financially. I'm running out of money and need to work. I can't go without work anymore. I wish I could say more about what's going on right now, but I'm exhausted physically. Mentally, I'm drained. I just don't know what to do. I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't.

I've already decided to get a job and start working, but I know if I do I'm going to be homeless because I don't have enough money to live on my own. I won't have any internet, so I won't be coming to Vizzed anymore. Now that I think about it, why not make a thread like this, I probably won't get to read some of the responses anyway. I'm sure I'd get a lot of hateful comments, but you know, who cares? I'm losing everything I have worked so hard for, who cares?! I won't be able to use my computer, I'll have no internet, and probably have to sell my truck. WHO CARES!!!????

Nobody does!! Why am I even doing this? I don't know anyone on here, and it's not going to be alright. I don't know how this is going to work out. I may not be here anymore. I have to get a job right now because if I don't I'm going to be out of money. If I get a job, my dad is just going to kick me out. This means I won't be able to keep what I have. I want more than I have (obviously). I want to live on my own (obviously, and I've been trying to get out of his house now for 12 years). I even lived on my own for a while until I had to move back home after a physical altercation with one of my neighbors and losing my job (which was the last steady job I had).

After that, I went to college (which was a waste of money) in order to get a steady job, and worked a couple of temporary jobs. I'm working an off and on job now, but that isn't paying the bills, and I need something else, or I'm going to be out of money. I don't understand the logic behind my dad! If it was me, I'd kick someone out for not working!!! Not for actually going out and getting a job and actually trying to better themselves!!! I hope I don't have to leave this site on account of all these problems I'm having. I could tell you all more, but it would take up the whole website! I'm at the end of the road, and I feel like I need to get some of this anxiety out. There really isn't anywhere else for me to turn in my real life.

Nobody listens, understands, or even takes the time to. Think what you want to about me, but if I don't get some of this out I'm going to do something rash. Sometimes, I feel like I'm turning into someone I'm not because of all the problems with my dad. It's like he's making me into someone I'm not. I feel like I can't win, and my mom just goes along with it. She's just as bad as he is and will defend him no matter what. I've been needing to get out of this house for years, and I should have done it back then, and now I'm paying the price for it. It's like he wants to punish me.

Before I moved out, we used to work together until I quit. I guess that explains why he has done me the way he has. It's his problem, not mine, but it's going to be my problem if something doesn't change soon. Maybe things will be okay, but I don't feel like they will. If I could talk to someone in real life, I wouldn't have made this thread, but it's out there now, and people are just going to think what they think. It bothers me, but what am I going to do? I can't change it. Just like I can't change my living arrangements, my financial problems, or my life!! Whatever, I don't care anymore. I'm on the verge of losing everything I have, so if anyone wants to attack me go right ahead! It's not like you're going to hurt me worse than anyone else already has.

If you feel bad about what I'm going through, then you're one of the few, but it's a shame I may not get to read your comments. I'm just so tore up right now over this money situation, and I have nowhere or nobody that seems to be working with me. Everybody in my life keeps working against me. People on here can make fun of me if they want to, but it's nothing to me because I've been made fun of my whole life by people that thought they were better than me. I guess they were because they're probably off living on their own in their own houses while I'm stuck under someone else's roof like a prisoner. If I'm not a prisoner than I guess I'm going to be homeless or end up in jail or something. I feel like this is really the end for me unless something changes for the better soon. I can't take much more of this.    

Somebody cares.

If I've learned nothing else in life, it's that there's always someone who cares.

Always.

No. Damn. Exceptions.

You're posting here because you want to know that you're not alone. That someone does care. I've got good news - you're not alone. You're expecting negative responses, plenty of 'man up' comments, but I assure you that I'll offer none of that. Your situation sucks, based on your description, but it is not the sum of who you are.

You're posting here because you want to live. You want to really live. Your situation is not who you are. Your dad is not who you are. Your job (or lack thereof) is not who you are. You are just as valuable as any other person on this planet. You will enjoy life, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. Where you are is temporary, even if temporary has seemed like forever so far. You don't end here.

You're posting here because you want confidence in the future. You are the confidence you need. Look at yourself in the mirror and know that you are valuable, even if no one seems to acknowledge it. You are full of potential, even if your job doesn't show it. You can accomplish great things, even if it seems impossible. You are more than your parents believe.

We are built around the idea of community. You need someone offline to talk to, to laugh with and cry with, to pour yourself out to. Find someone, anyone, willing to sit and talk. I promise, there's someone out there. If nothing else, local pastors or priests are generally willing to talk to anyone about irl issues. It's the act of saying it out loud that will help you diffuse your anxiety, and then your mind will be more clear and you can look for action steps to move forward.

Hope it helps. Praying for the best for you.

I suspect there are a lot of people that feel like you do. Maybe I haven't been dealing with it for as long as you have, but I think I'm in a somewhat similar state of mind. Kind of like your options are imprisonment or death by the elements, right? As it is, I feel like I'm years behind where I should be. Like I missed my opportunity to build good habits, break bad ones and put myself in a position where I can move up the ladder and towards independence. But I also realize that there's always something that can be done or something that can be worked towards as long as I have breath in my lungs. I might not have any opportunity now, and I've been really discouraged lately, but even given the fact that I'm almost 22 and haven't moved forward any, or the fact you're 34 and haven't made any progress towards your goals, even though time is still passing and we're both moving closer towards our expiration, there is always something we can try, people we can help, progress to be made and lives we can positively impact. You'll never make it to the end of the game if you give up and you'll never find anything if you stop looking. We gotta see things through and do what we can to better things.

You are not alone. Not sure how many people in here are feeling or have experienced something like you have, but outside of this place I can tell you there are lots of people even in worse positions.

As someone who has thought long and wide about giving up, I can tell you that it's NEVER the solution. We can barely see a fraction of the world in our own, and we need to open up to more points of view. We don't need anybody to do that, just time to put everything in its place and patience to think carefully over what we've done, what we could have done and what will we be able to do.

I'm 25 and I've been unable to finish anything beyond school due to health reasons. I've been drifting aimlessly and most surely I'll be 26 before even landing my first job. My family situation isn't any better, because my father wants me to inherit his office and that's the last thing I want to do, so we also have heated discussions over what I should study, where I should work and surely a time will come when the subject of where to live may arise (though family history with my cousins says it shouldn't be a problem, but expect the unexpected from a person like my father).

Bad times may be ahead, but the sun shines brighter after a storm. I've wanted to take my life in the past, and thanks to that now I live the present and I'm enjoying life in a way I could never imagine. My experience has showed me the clouds will clear someday if you're out there searching for alternatives, so instead of thinking you're done for keep your mind busy considering the many chances you still have ahead.

Yeah you're not alone I'd say it was a good idea making this thread and reaching out. I can understand how you feel I grew up with my mom having an abusive boyfriend who yelled at my mom to find a job but wouldn't let her work and was well just generally rotten to both of us. As far as being homeless I was also homeless at one point because of my mom's ex along with my mom and I have to say I found it was better being homeless than living with him and you probably will too. There are shelters and Safe Harbors you can stay at depending on where you're at and you can go to places like the library for Internet. So if you're still on Vizzed and you need someone to talk to or whatever just shoot me a PM or friend request.   

I don't know if you'll see this, but I feel compelled to reply.

First off let me preface what I'm about to say by saying that I do not intend to imply that I've suffered as many hardships as you, as everyone's situation is different. I simply mean to show you that I can at least in part understand some of your trouble and assure you that there is hope.

That said, I myself have been homeless on more than one occasion, with probably the lowest of those experiences resulting in me living in a tent in a park. It stinks, I know. And the inability to hold a steady job at your age is another thing I can identify with for somewhat similar reasons, albeit my parents aren't... hmm... well, they've never treated me like yours are treating you, and I'm terribly sorry to hear that you're facing those issues.

However, I do believe that if one pursues something with all of their being, unwaveringly, they will succeed. I also believe that, much like my battle in the past with depression and suicidal thoughts (And actions, as I did attempt to end my life, but thankfully my attempt was foiled), that if you hang in there, things will eventually look up again one day. Situations, thankfully, are not permanent, and the darkness will eventually give way to light.


I for one am glad that you opened up and turned to the people here to express how you felt, and it appears that a few others are as well. You needed someone to listen and care, and you have just that here. If you need any further support, don't hesitate to turn to us. I promise you, I'll always be willing to listen and offer support, and I believe these other users will as well.

Until we hear from you again, I'll keep praying for you, both for your emotional well being, and for your employment and housing situations to work out soon. If you're a believer, and even if not, God is there and will also help you through, and do a much more helpful job than we can. Regardless, as I said, I'm here in any way I can be, and I believe the others are as well. Be well, man.

I don't like the direction my life is heading in, but I've decided there are things I can do to change it and things that I can't do. I want to try to focus on doing what I can and quit worrying about all the negativity and things I can't change. I want to continue to stay with Vizzed because I love Retro gaming and want to make it more about the games and less about all this drama in my life. For me, making a thread like this previous thread is pointless, and it is something I did because I was having a bad day and just a bad start to 2018 in general. I'm not here for the drama, I'm here to play games, and that's what I want to try to do as much as I can. Forget about the real world and make this more about the games. So far this year, I've been caught up in all this financial garbage that I've become depressed and angry up to a point where I quit enjoying the things that I used to enjoy in my life.

I don't have the time to visit this website as much as I used to, but I still get some spare time to continue gaming. If anything, there are times when I read other threads and offer input into them. The previous thread I made last week is very out of character for me, but it has to do with me being such a miserable person in real life and needing to get that out. My goal from here on out is to make my time here more about the games, maybe responding to other people's reviews, making some of my own, etc.

I haven't really read any of the responses, and I don't plan on replying to any of them. I will say that I do appreciate the support that some of you have given me during this difficult time, which is more than what I can say for a lot of the other people in my real life right now. However, I need to learn to suck it up and deal with it and quit expecting other people to care, but I am still thankful to those who took the time to listen and respond to all of this crap I wrote. It's just unfortunate that I don't have anyone I feel like I can talk to for real like friends, a girlfriend, etc.