Imagine an innovative game. One that would not only provide hours of fun, but real-life benefits too. One that will one day make you ambidextrous. That one day you’ll wake up and realize that you can use both hands equally.

Now imagine just the opposite. There you have it, Majesco’s Left Brain Right Brain!

Released in 2007, Left Brain Right Brain physically realizes the expression “bored to death” with 15 vapid mini-games. Have you ever wanted to connect dots? Or keep clicking green squares that appear over the screen for hours on end? If so, you’ve finally found your perfect game!

Now let’s venture where no critical analysis has ventured before...

Graphics: 1 / 10

Next time you’re bored, open up Photoshop or whatever image editing program you have and mess around. Take sixty seconds and make a graphic for a video game. It doesn’t matter whether your new or experienced, using photoshop or ms paint. The point is, you’ll have created a masterpiece in comparison to the graphics of this game.

Okay, I can understand the simplicity. No distractions mean better concentration, right?

But there lies the problem. The right hand “instructor” with a five-year old smiley face drawn on it will do random things while you’re playing. You’ll often see it jumping around with it’s eyes closed and tongue out. Like Miley Cyrus, the hand seems to be overdosing on anti-psychotics. Just give it a hammer, revealing dress, and a wrecking ball and you’ll have a piece that hits the top 10 charts.

To make matters worse, “the hand” doesn’t stop there. Take more than five seconds without a right answer and you’ll see the best of it’s intermittent explosive disorder. I don’t know about you, but I find it much harder to concentrate when there’s an angry jumping hand yelling at me to do better. Works wonders for the child friendliness of the game, you know?

To sum up, the graphics look like they're from a pre-school art show and you won’t be able to concentrate while playing the already tedious games.

If I could find a redeeming feature of the graphics, I would. But there are some things you just can’t look past.

1 / 10.

Sound / Music: 4 / 10

If you already own the game, just go to the main menu. Stop. Play the music loudly. It’s the only good part of the the game.
You could just listen to it for hours. Okay, I’m exaggerating. It’s really the same fifteen second clip of music repeating over and over. However, I wasn’t kidding, it’s actually decent. This is one instance where lack of effort worked. Comes to show you, a one in a million shot of doing something well doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

Clicking on a mini-game, you’ll feel like crying. You’ll hear this horrid drum beat clip that repeats every two seconds. Look what just flew out the window. Goodbye concentration.

As your standards lower, mediocrity just seems better and better. Mediocre sound effects almost seemed like a reprieve from the rest of the game. Albeit the lower quality, for a second I had pleasant memories of playing Brain Age 2 or Big Brain Academy. For a second. Then you’ll hear the music, notice the graphics, or finally realize what a waste of time the game is.

If you have the misfortune of playing, just hang out on the main menu. Nothing more to say.

4 / 10.

Addictiveness: 1 / 10

I used to think that entertainment was the single most important feature of a game, no matter what it’s intent. I still do. If you’re not having fun with an educational game, why not just watch youtube videos, take a textbook, or study the course?

With practically unlimited resources on the internet for ambidextrous training, the information isn’t new or innovative, so it should have an interesting presentation.

Yet the game is drab. Doesn’t matter what you call it: dull, humdrum, stale, life-less, boring. It’s just that.

You’ll play it once and that’s all. Unless you have the misfortune of reviewing the game in which case you’ll play it twice (Woe is me!).
There’s multiplayer, but playing a horrible game with multiple people isn’t any more fun. In fact, you’re setting yourself up to lose all your friends by forcing them to play such a game. They’ll rethink life and video games and might forsake the world entirely.

More seriously, if you don’t like the game, have sympathy for others!

Much like the University of Chicago, here’s where fun comes to die.

1 / 10.

Story: N / A

With these edutainment games, you can get away without a story. Ironically, the game still tries to get by without a story with neither education nor entertainment.

A story couldn’t have hurt, after all. I mean, we could have found out why the hand became a psychopath, whether he ever met Miley Cyrus, or why a right hand is the symbol of a game that tries to make most players use their left better.

Depth: 5 / 10

Here’s one of those loopholes in reviewing. In the game. you do have a decent bit to do, just no incentive to do it.

There are 15 mini-games, ranging from the mindlessly mindless to the decently horrible. You have an ambidexterity check, exercises, and multiplayer play that revolve around the minigames, using and reusing them to the point of annoyance.

There are five levels of opposite hand training, with the hardest one, level five, comprising “Write the letter!” and “Trace the Shape!” Is there really any comment needed?

Loopholes, loopholes. 5 / 10.

Difficulty: 3 / 10

I almost give this a 10 / 10. Honestly, I give kudos to anyone who can complete this lousy game without throwing the DS across the room.

When it comes to the difficulty settings of the minigames, you do have different levels; They’re mind-numbingly easy and even your weaker hand won’t have any trouble.

You might try to argue that the game works subconsciously. Don’t. I knew it was bogus from the first time I took the exam. Apparently my left hand is 3x better than my right, what?

Not that you actually need them, but the directions give no help, meaning you’ll waste a few seconds at the start. This is the only reason the category isn’t rated 1 / 10.

3 / 10.

Overall: 2.7 / 10
Graphics : 1 * 25% = 0.25
Sound / Music : 4 * 20% = 0.8
Addictiveness : 1 * 25% = 0.25
Story : N/A * 0% = 0
Depth : 5 * 25% = 1.25
Difficulty : 3 * 5% = 0.15

Sum = Overall Score = 2.7 / 10

Is the math really needed? I’ll include it for your comparative benefit. It’s the lowest I’ve rated any game up to this point.

If you’ve already bought it. I’m sorry. Look on the bright side, there’s plenty to do with it: set a bonfire, use the cartridge as a guitar pick, give it as a gift to your worst enemy, whatever.

I’ve spent far more time writing this review than you’ll ever want to spend playing the game.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this!

Wow. Man, this review was HARSH. lol Sadly though, given the logic and honest sounding breakdowns of the graphics, audio, and games themselves, it sounds like you really had no choice but to be harsh. Some games are just that bad.

So while I normally wouldn't like a harsh review, I've been there, and some games leave you with nothing but harsh things to say. lol Great review, man. It was engaging, and kept me hooked from start to finish. I especially loved how you revisited comments from the beginning of the review, toward the end. It really tied the review together perfectly. It's definitely one of those reviews that you hate to see come to an end.

Reviews like these are what makes the Review Reviewer job a joy. I could rave some more, but I think I've gotten my point across. Great work here, man.

Eirinn :
EideticMemory :

I'm not sure if this made my day more, or if my own corny joke in The SF RPg did.

Good job, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I have almost no idea why. XD

EideticMemory :

Excellent review my friend. Although I must say, you've left me wanting to boycott Nintendo for an extended period of time...and I haven't even played the game.  

From what you say though, I'm not inclined to ever make that purchase. Out of curiosity I took the time to look the game up and I can honestly say that uh...you were right about the hand being drawn by a five-year old. Also, not gonna lie, I can see the resemblance to Miley.

Top review man, absolutely top.

Unfortunately as a newbie I can't yet link images (or at least I don't think I can), but for anyone interested here's the hand.

http://media.nintendo.com/nintendo/bin/t7mYMFxeqKVGY-02GsfZunURzx6V-CkC/_MQRlVrCueVev6ERiAlURZ1bn_DZ8pKY.jpg

20 awesome points to whoever photoshops it with a wrecking ball.