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05-28-24 12:45 PM

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The T.A.R.D.I.S
An English Assignment
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Dean2k13
06-03-13 04:26 PM
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The T.A.R.D.I.S

 

06-03-13 04:26 PM
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Basically, This is a Personal Writing task that my girlfriend wrote herself and I want your opinions on what you think of it and what you would you rate it out of 10? I personally think it deserves a 10.
It's GCSE standard. The task is to write about a place you would really like to live.

Living in the TARDIS.

TARDIS. Time and Relative Dimension in Space. The place where I want to live. I am sick of living a normal life, getting up for school, working, coming home, doing homework, going to bed and repeating the same thing every day!  I need a place to live where there is adventure and danger everywhere you go. Travelling with the Doctor in the Tardis is everything I need.

The Tardis or The Blue Box, a spaceship owned by a 1200 year old Time Lord, with the mental age of a 5 year old, travels through time and space. This is my escape route from reality and the struggles of everyday life. The Doctor, he’ll bring me anywhere I want – to Mars, to the Medusa Cascade, the beginning of time – how it all started. I will find the answers to the impossible questions. I will meet people I thought I would never meet, the most inspirational people of our world. He’ll show me the Wonders of Universe, the amazing species we could never imagine. The Doctor and I, we’ll have adventures worthy of Dr.Seuss or J.K Rowling, we will be always running.

Danger and adventure would be my life. The Doctor will teach me how to live my life, how to make the most of the time I have with him, how to value the things I have in my life. He will take me to planets so beautiful they will be ever present in my mind, planets where risk is around every corner – but that will be our fun! It won’t be quiet, it won’t be safe, and it won’t be calm. But I’ll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime! Living with the Doctor, in the Tardis, would be the chapter of the book where you just can’t stop reading, the one song you listen to which makes you feel alive.

My Doctor, the goofy, wonderful man with the bow tie, he's like fire and ice and rage. He's ancient and forever. And... he's wonderful.He has saved our lives so many times and he never asks to be thanked. He is lonely and always searching, I will be there for him and I will help find whatever he has lost. He will make my life have a meaning; he will make me feel important in this world.  

But I know that living with the Doctor cannot last forever, it will come to end. No matter how hard I try not to leave the Doctor, it’s inevitable, it always is. I will go back to living my normal life but I will feel better, happier. I will dream of my time with the Doctor, our story. The Doctor, he will have another companion spreading hope throughout the universe, giving a home to those who feel lost, like me. I will look back on our amazing, too good to be true story and know this is how it ends.
Basically, This is a Personal Writing task that my girlfriend wrote herself and I want your opinions on what you think of it and what you would you rate it out of 10? I personally think it deserves a 10.
It's GCSE standard. The task is to write about a place you would really like to live.

Living in the TARDIS.

TARDIS. Time and Relative Dimension in Space. The place where I want to live. I am sick of living a normal life, getting up for school, working, coming home, doing homework, going to bed and repeating the same thing every day!  I need a place to live where there is adventure and danger everywhere you go. Travelling with the Doctor in the Tardis is everything I need.

The Tardis or The Blue Box, a spaceship owned by a 1200 year old Time Lord, with the mental age of a 5 year old, travels through time and space. This is my escape route from reality and the struggles of everyday life. The Doctor, he’ll bring me anywhere I want – to Mars, to the Medusa Cascade, the beginning of time – how it all started. I will find the answers to the impossible questions. I will meet people I thought I would never meet, the most inspirational people of our world. He’ll show me the Wonders of Universe, the amazing species we could never imagine. The Doctor and I, we’ll have adventures worthy of Dr.Seuss or J.K Rowling, we will be always running.

Danger and adventure would be my life. The Doctor will teach me how to live my life, how to make the most of the time I have with him, how to value the things I have in my life. He will take me to planets so beautiful they will be ever present in my mind, planets where risk is around every corner – but that will be our fun! It won’t be quiet, it won’t be safe, and it won’t be calm. But I’ll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime! Living with the Doctor, in the Tardis, would be the chapter of the book where you just can’t stop reading, the one song you listen to which makes you feel alive.

My Doctor, the goofy, wonderful man with the bow tie, he's like fire and ice and rage. He's ancient and forever. And... he's wonderful.He has saved our lives so many times and he never asks to be thanked. He is lonely and always searching, I will be there for him and I will help find whatever he has lost. He will make my life have a meaning; he will make me feel important in this world.  

But I know that living with the Doctor cannot last forever, it will come to end. No matter how hard I try not to leave the Doctor, it’s inevitable, it always is. I will go back to living my normal life but I will feel better, happier. I will dream of my time with the Doctor, our story. The Doctor, he will have another companion spreading hope throughout the universe, giving a home to those who feel lost, like me. I will look back on our amazing, too good to be true story and know this is how it ends.
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(edited by Dean2k13 on 06-08-13 09:33 AM)    

06-03-13 04:38 PM
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that was beautiful......I almost cried I give you 8/10 for that dean its really good the score I put up might be wrong but that's the score I'm going to give you....
that was beautiful......I almost cried I give you 8/10 for that dean its really good the score I put up might be wrong but that's the score I'm going to give you....
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06-03-13 05:08 PM
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Dean2k13 : Wow, that was pretty good and this time I'm not joking. I give this a 9/10. Good luck on your english assignment!

Off topic comment: I hate english! I'm more of the math and science person and I especially hate history.
Dean2k13 : Wow, that was pretty good and this time I'm not joking. I give this a 9/10. Good luck on your english assignment!

Off topic comment: I hate english! I'm more of the math and science person and I especially hate history.
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06-04-13 10:30 AM
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mohammedroxx3 :
Eniitan :

Thanks both! I'm more of a science person too, especially Physics and Biology!
mohammedroxx3 :
Eniitan :

Thanks both! I'm more of a science person too, especially Physics and Biology!
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06-04-13 11:01 AM
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I would give that a 9/10 as well it is very detailed and i'm actually more as a science guy as well for i'm quite good at those kind of subjects.
I would give that a 9/10 as well it is very detailed and i'm actually more as a science guy as well for i'm quite good at those kind of subjects.
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06-14-13 03:27 AM
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8/10
my rating may be a bit bias because I'm a fan of Doctor Who.
8/10
my rating may be a bit bias because I'm a fan of Doctor Who.
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06-14-13 08:56 AM
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I don't know what the writing standards are today (assuming that your girlfriend is the same age as you) but it was pretty good. I haven't seen that many papers better than it, and I've seen papers that were a heck of a lot worse than this. I cant really rate this, because again, I don't know what the standards are, but I liked it. It didn't use large vocabulary, but it kept it in the middle ground, and that's fine. I do have one criticism though, the TARDIS a doctor who reference. It seems kind of immature to talk about traveling with a TV character, you can say live in space, because that's technically possible, traveling with a fictional person through time is not.  
I don't know what the writing standards are today (assuming that your girlfriend is the same age as you) but it was pretty good. I haven't seen that many papers better than it, and I've seen papers that were a heck of a lot worse than this. I cant really rate this, because again, I don't know what the standards are, but I liked it. It didn't use large vocabulary, but it kept it in the middle ground, and that's fine. I do have one criticism though, the TARDIS a doctor who reference. It seems kind of immature to talk about traveling with a TV character, you can say live in space, because that's technically possible, traveling with a fictional person through time is not.  
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06-14-13 08:59 AM
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I am more of a science person as well. I love that! 9.5/10!
I am more of a science person as well. I love that! 9.5/10!
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06-16-13 06:49 PM
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Thanks for all the feedback guys! She aced it, and got an A+!

Local Mods : Please close this thread, thank you! (:
Thanks for all the feedback guys! She aced it, and got an A+!

Local Mods : Please close this thread, thank you! (:
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06-16-13 07:14 PM
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Pretty good if I must say so myself. Definitely brings up images of Dr.Who as someone pointed out. If I had to rate it, I'd give it a 8.5/10. I don't know why but the song of Metropolis by Owl City sprung to my mind as I was reading it.
Pretty good if I must say so myself. Definitely brings up images of Dr.Who as someone pointed out. If I had to rate it, I'd give it a 8.5/10. I don't know why but the song of Metropolis by Owl City sprung to my mind as I was reading it.
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06-17-13 09:46 PM
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Ah, to leave this world and to enter one where you know
your soul belongs. I have had this thought many times,
and still do to this day. This really hit close to home for me.
I give it a 9 out of 10. It really touched me, it made me smile,
 I loved it.
Ah, to leave this world and to enter one where you know
your soul belongs. I have had this thought many times,
and still do to this day. This really hit close to home for me.
I give it a 9 out of 10. It really touched me, it made me smile,
 I loved it.
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