Overall 5.7 Graphics 7 Sound 1 Addictive 1 Story 3 Depth 2 Difficulty 9
6
A perfect visual metaphor for a panic attack. Doomstruck
I will probably never beat this game unless paid to or I wanted to become a streamer and torture my viewers. This game is artfully awful. There's rarely a moment of this game that doesn't evoke a feeling of pain and nausea, and it's hilarious in how chaotic even just 3 seconds of gameplay can be. But let me actually describe what this game is.
Urban Yeti is almost a GTA clone on the gameboy advance, ALMOST, but it has some weird differences. The game is "open-world" but that doesn't actually matter because your progression is pretty much linear and exploration is never rewarded. Your goal? Keep following the sound of what might be a female yeti in heat calling for you, so you can mate. However, you live in a capitalist dystopia, and not even a Yeti can make it to the other end of a crowded city without paying tolls. You need to make your yeti do odd jobs and part time work in the form of mini-games to get the money required to progress, and the work is thankless, sensationally overwhelming, and requires interacting with rude and cruel people.
If you work a retail job, let me give a double un-recommendation. You've probably become used to the daily abuses of the industry, and are at a point of contentment with everything. Urban Yeti will pull the worst aspects of retail out into the open and force you to remember the pain you've become desensitized to. And then after you've broken down from having your mental armor unraveled, you then have to deal with just the worst and most frustrating top-down open world experience.
You have to get to wherever the arrow points to, and you have to make sure you don't get killed, but the cops are after you, people are getting in your way constantly, and the streets are too narrow to navigate comfortably, which is especially frustrating when you factor in the game's absurdly low field of vision. And the part of this game that makes it literally impossible to recommend as an enjoyable play is the sound design. On top of the sensory overload that is every other part of this game, you also have to deal with a constant cacophony of noise. People screaming, cartoonish voice lines repeating for too long, cars crashing, and the music also blending together with the sheer wall of noise that is everything in this game.
The graphics are okay. They, like, get the job done. It's about as good or bad as the graphics in GTA Advance. Actually I alt+tabbed for a moment to make sure and the graphics in Urban Yeti are uh... technically better? They're more advanced and impressive, but in terms of aesthetic and communicating visual information, it's just a trash fire. There are dogs in Urban Yeti that seem to just blend in with the road. It looks bad.
The story is about as complicated as I mentioned before. You're a yeti, you hear a female yeti in heat calling from a distance, and you wanna MATE. Go through any obstacle in your path to MATE. It's that simple. But also you need to do part time work so you can move forwards, for some reason. It makes no sense.
Overall, all I can really say is don't play this game, although I'm not stopping you. Do what you want, really. Just remember that the game you're about to play is Urban Yeti.
Graphics 7 Sound 1 Addictive 1 Story 3 Depth 2 Difficulty 9
Review Rating: 4/5
Submitted: 11-02-18
Review Replies: 2
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