Overall 8.1 Graphics 6 Sound 5 Addictive 5 Story 6 Depth 6 Difficulty 7
6.2
Cheats N the game endings
Crash N the Boys uses the squishy marshmellow high-schoolers from the Kunio (River City Ransom) series, and in this, its not a beat em up, its a sporting event. Well, there's still a lot of fighting, both on and off the field.
Taking place in the streets against rival schools, you get to see such whimsical adaptions of the events, although there are only 5, it makes the game short, but honestly, you will need to practice to win, because the computer cheats a lot.
The 5 events are:
Hurdles: This looks like regular hurdles event, except you can fight each other with kicks and throwing parts of the broken hurdles at each other.
Shot-put Golf: You only need power for this event, and its just tapping a button fast to build a strength bar and throw. You have to throw the heavy weight until it lands in the golf hole (how does it fit). No opponents can interfere with you, making this purely your own skill (or lack of).
Swimming: This is a tough event of attrition. Watching your oxygen meter, you must beat up your opponent, and keep them from reaching the surface and refilling their air. Harder than it looks, but there are a few tricks to cheese the overly aggressive AI.
Rooftop LongJump: Another event where its just yourself, you start running and have to clear a long series of jumps. Sometimes there is a pole vault, sometimes a unicycle (to cross tightropes), you can also try to junmp it on your own. This isn't too hard, as long as you don't rush.
Street Fight: A mini-fighting tournment, complete with wrestling grabs. This is another hard event as the computer really puts on pressure.
Winning gets you medals, in gold, silver and bronze. These are actually currency and can be spent, but keep some for the overall winners are determined this way. You can also find them in the minigames, as random pickups. But where does one spend these medals? I'm glad you asked! At the start of an event, you proceed to the shop minimap, which you use your hard-won awards to help give you a boost in the next event. There are 4 shops; an inn offers basic advice (waste of time), a pharmacy offers health refills and hexes (often too expensive), the clothing outfitter offers +20 stat boosts (good prices). The 4th is a sports store offers the best things to buy, which go from 'competitive edge' to 'holy cow this is rampant cheating' - the other 3 stores always sell the same items except the sports store, which is another reason its so popular, you can try different power-ups and see which ones work for you.
Another thing to consider is which team you select, and their stats. Every team has a captain who often is the best person for every event, but unless you want to shell out for life refills, others are going to have to carry some weight. Crash's team, while the story default heroes, are actually the worst team (LOL). There is an unplayable 'pro' team also in the competition, the Thornley squad, and they will be some of your strongest competition.
Graphics: 6
I am a fan of these super-deformed guys and all their games. But its been years and honestly there is little improvement. I was hoping for more detail. That said, the backgrounds are fairly detailed, and the potato-bodied characters are always charming.
Sound: 5
While fairly generic TECHNOS type music, this game has tracks that get the sports theme right, with courageous or tense notes. That said, they aren't anything to remember later, but in the moment, sure. Does the job. The annoying sound of the text being typed takes some getting used to. The best sound effect is the whack of smacking your opponent, which feels they have used this same sound in all their games.
Addictive: 5
The entire event feels too short on playtime yet too long (you have to watch the computer fight against itself) and the players don't really have much personality, since they are just numbers really. Its OK, but there are way better games (like River City Ransom) in this in-game world.
Story: 6
Crash is from Southside High, a poor school that always defeats the preppy kids. Thornley Thurston, the prep jock, is mad and challenges Crash and his team again, this time on the streets, in a no holds barred series of events. Thornley also whines to his super rich dad, who gets a coroporate team of super-atheletes (the Thornley team) to compete to help carry a win for the preps. And thats about it. You see interesting characters but no backstory to them (why are you called Cheese, Cheese?). Who are these guys in the other schools, like Lincoln? We get no info about how they react to Crash or Thornley. The event is a fun backdrop but needs more engagement with the characters themselves.
Depth: 6
Having 5 events, each with 2 or more big cheats from the sports store, there is a lot you can do to improve your odds. One item that I found interesting was the @#%&!! (thats its name) from the Pharmacy, it randomly reduces a characters stats. Its chaotic nature adds some Mario Party luck to the game, and I wish there was more like that. With the computers cheating on every event, there is little room for variety if you want to win. Just do what works.
Difficulty: 7
The learning curve is tough, but there is practice mode, which helps a lot. Unfortunately, because the computer buys all the cheat items rampantly, its not enough, and you had better buy them yourself or outsmart them.
Crash N the Boys is anarchy. The potential is there for a fun time, but it slightly misses the mark on being a great entry. I wish it had more events, more about the characters, and the computer would chill out a bit and not have unlimited gold. If you are a fan of Kunio-kun games, please give it a shot. If you're looking for some zany NES sports where the difficulty is more fair, try Caveman Ughlympics.
Graphics 6 Sound 5 Addictive 5 Story 6 Depth 6 Difficulty 7
Review Rating: 3/5
Submitted: 07-06-23
Review Replies: 0
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