I was a bit rude to one of my former professors in an email, asking her when and where I can meet her on campus to have her sign some forms because I'm applying for an internship course late. I had to email her because I did not know where her office is and what the hours for it are this semester.

I told her what forms they are and shot her some screen shots of the forms.

She did not agree to meet with me to fill them out, so I made an appointment to meet with the head of her department, NOT to complain about the fact that she rejected my request, but to politely ask the head if I can meet the head, which I did, to get these forms filled out, with an explicit "Can you do me a favor?", a please, and a thank you, as my profesoor suggested I should when talking to someone in the future about these things.

I learned my lesson. I apologized to my professor a few hours ago and told her I apologize for the misunderstanding and that I didn't mean to sound demanding (she told me I did) and now I know I need to explicitly and politely ask for a favor when I'd like one.

I don't know if she's upset over this, but I feel like I was being rude, from how she responded to me, when I didn't mean to be at all, honestly.

However, I may need to contact this professor again this semester because I want to get permission to use some of a paper I wrote for her class in a paper I'm going to write for a class I have now.

I mean, she seems like a very nice professor. I've seen her in office last semester when I had her, I got a B in her class, and my friend is Facebook friends with her, but I can still sort of see someone being like, "What??? Not her again!!!" if they were in this situation and I emailed them again.....

My question is, given these circumstances, should I ask, or not, honestly? Did I honestly kill my professor-student relationship with her? I don't know how she feels about me now, but maybe I'm over thinking this?

Also, if you DON'T think I should talk to her again, fine, but I MAY need help finding a work-around for my paper.

Well, Professors are there to help you. It's their job. I didn't think you were too rude, so just by not being a jerk you'll go a long way. I feel like it's fine for you to ask her, but maybe warm up to her a bit before?

It's likely that I'm not getting the big picture here, but from my perspective, the whole thing comes of like "Hey, I need you to sign this for me." "No, you didn't address me how I wanted to be." Like I said though, I'd really have to know exactly what words were used, when and how to determine whether or not something was rude. You can be less than polite without being rude. If she wants to hold a grudge because she took something the wrong way and she's going to let personal problems get in the way of her doing her job, then I think you should take it up with her superior. If it was cleared up that there was a misunderstanding and there's no hostility, I'd go about business as usual.

I think m0ss covered most of what I was going to say about this.

From what I understand, though her first response may have been a little less than "cheery," she addressed her issue and (should have) moved on. If you contact her again using the outlines she described to you in her response, everything should be well and good. If you do what she asks, and she's still holding it against you, then she's obviously making it personal when it doesn't need to be.

Either way, I highly doubt you were rude to the point that you shouldn't contact them again. That is if you even came off as rude in the first place. For all we know she could've just been in a bad mood when she got the e-mail from you.

I would suggest you find out where her office is and the hours of operation. A lot of places will appreciate that you actually went to them in person to ask them (politely and professionally) a small favor. Now,I would suggest that you talk this out,no favors,no ulterior motives,just talk with her for a few minutes.(Just be sure to ask her first if she could spare that time. She is in the driver's seat.) Explain what happened,apologize if you came off less than professional,and make sure you do not do that again. She is supposed to help you in your endeavors and I doubt she would comprise her student/teacher relationship over a grudge.

I think everyone pretty much covered it. Learn from this and do not do it again. Best of luck!

Look inward. There's always something you can do better, and if you do things better and people don't accept your progress, that's on them.

For example, the lady in charge of registration at the college I'm going to now treated me quite rudely, I thought. I had jumped through hoop after hoop of misinformation (my high school transcript was lost, and cannot be recovered), and she demanded things of me, and I didn't trust her. I almost let that stop me from going to college. I'm glad I didn't. I gave in, thinking I was humbling myself before a jerk. But frankly, I needed to humble myself. I would have missed out on something great if I hadn't dealt with that well enough.

People are gonna be who they're gonna be. They might be jerks, liars, haters, whatever. We don't know all of their circumstances. But we can share a little bit of goodness with them by just trying to be a better person every day, and hope that they'll make the same change.

However, if this professor continues to throw a fuss about something that you have no control over, or even makes unreasonable demands, it is within your power to do something about it. If your best pleas to your professor won't cause her to change, then maybe some discipline from those above her will. But try the former first. War is messy, and should be avoided unless absolutely necessary. But when absolutely necessary, you gotta do it without shying from it. I know what it's like to shy from these circumstances, although I've never been on a legit battlefield before. My mom's a real good example to me in this regard. She's always taken a strong stand for me, perhaps even to a fault. But I'm glad she has. She protected me from a lot of bullying that I encountered because of my disabilities. Now I handle myself very well in public, although I don't get out very much (I should rectify that!). I still have plenty of room for improvement, though.

If you wrote the paper, then the paper is your intellectual property and you can repurpose it however you like. You can write one paper and do anything you want with it. It's not plagiarism. You don't need her permission for anything with that paper. It's yours.

Also, you may not have killed the relationship but if I were you, I would take a step back and not make contact, in any shape or form, except for an official apology or letter. If you've apologized and simply said you were wrong in the manner in which you talked to her, you're good.

Now? Leave it alone. Don't say anything. Walk away. If you need help down the road, ask for the help. But don't try to follow up and say anything else unless you're in dire straights. Talk to other professors, ask friends for help, anything else except that particular instructor. Leave her alone.

Time heals everything. Down the road she may be more sympathetic to your needs but right now you managed to fire her up and she will be unlikely to help. Give her space and time, don't ever talk to her again until you need the help.

That is my solution if I were in your shoes.