I'll be turning 21 at the end of January, but wondering if the fact that I have never dated by 21 is normal or not, considering the fact that my friends and classmates who are 21+ have dated at least once before.

I mean, I know that identifying as queer & LGBT has a barrier to it since most of society is heterosexual, so I have tried to get past that by joining and being active on some dating apps for my iPhone & iPad & by being more active in my school's LGBT club, but no luck with either of those yet & meeting anyone I know that crushes on me back.

I wanted to go a lesbian bar with a couple of my 21+ closest friends, but I'm not and they themselves said they are not sure if they can make it or not
and I looked at my school's schedule for this coming spring, out of curiousity one day
& I found out that my birthday is on the first day of classes, which makes me feel awkward
I'm not even sure if I really want to do anything for my 21st birthday, to be honest

Its not that I'm antisocial or ugly - things have never went both ways because the person I like is heterosexual, has a partner already, I like them and they don't feel the same about me romantically, or the other way around. I think I'm physically attractive and I like who I am.

I don't know why my "someone" hasn't come into my life yet.

Help? Thoughts here?

I mean who are we to really tell you what's "Normal" I mean would I say that it's common to hear that someone hasn't dated into their early 20's? Probably not, but everyone has their own pace on life.

I mean if you haven't found someone that interests you in that regard up until now, then I perfectly understand that. No reason to do something just for the sake of doing it, even if you are miserable. I would just suggest to start being active in activities that you enjoy. Try meetup groups of people with similar interests. It's easy to find someone that you might like to spend time with if you have similar interests.

There's nothing wrong with that, there plenty of people who haven't done anything until 21 so you have nothing to worry about, and besides, its about how you do things, not what others say is normal.

xxeliza321xx : Everybody has their own definition of "normal", so it depends. I see nothing wrong with it as I am 19 and never dated yet. Don't really have any lady friends either. I don't mind not dating when I get out of college or during college, I'm willing to wait for the right one.

Is it normal? No, probably not. You're right, most people, gay or straight, have dated by the age of 21.
But whether it's normal or not is irrelevant. Are you happy? That's the question that matters.

There are many aspects to life and some people don't date much in their young adult years because they're focusing on school, their career, or other important matters. Do you absolutely want a partner right now? Or is there something else you want more? You should focus on whatever aspects of life make you the happiest.

The best suggestion I can give you is not to worry so much about it. Typically, when you are an active person, going out and doing things that you love and working hard in life, you eventually stumble across someone you want to be with. I've found that this makes for a more genuine relationship versus actively pursuing a partner.

Well I can say that it isn't common... but that isn't a bad thing at all remaining a bachelorette so long. If anything, lots of kids like dating as soon as they can, and that just leads to finding the wrong person and going through too much trouble. Feel free to take your time meeting friends, getting to know people well, and then finding a perfect match in the same boat as you are. There's someone out there for everyone.

Based on the title I would say it's not normal.

However, based on your post I would say it's probably fairly common. Especially depending on where you grew up.

People have a hard time being respectful of people who think or act differently than they do. This is true across the board (as much as people like to deny it) and it is rare to find someone who truly espouses a prejudice free assessment of another person.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand - I give this advice to everyone (regardless of orientation) - stop trying. Relationships don't form because you go out and force them to. They have to develop naturally. Obviously being part of groups where you fit in is a good start. After that you have to just give it time. Trying to force a relationship or a "spark" is not the best way to go about it.

And to be fair, you've got a big disadvantage compared to most other people. Your orientation already takes out about 99% of the population from being compatible with you simply based on that one characteristic. Add on preferences for personality and looks and you're even worse off. Not trying to depress your or anything but that is the reality of the situation as I see it. Don't let yourself get down over it. Give it time. You can find the right person in time.

I'll be turning 23 soon, and still haven't dated.

I don't consider it normal, but anyway, it's not like my life has been normal. I've been very antisocial almost until I became 18, so basically I had to grow up very quickly so as to not be outclassed by my friends. However, I've been unable to fill all the voids, this one being one of them.

As many people has said, the important thing isn't being normal or not. Sometimes a relationship can take things away from you. A local newspaper showed recently how a group of friends organized the "funeral" of one of their group because he never went out with them after getting a girlfriend. 

Probably I'm on a tighter spot, for being a bit older than you and being straight, which means a higher percentage of compatible population. This is a good reminder for you, because no matter which situation you face, there will always be someone in a worse situation than you.

As has been said, don't take it too hard upon yourself. Sometimes things happen when you least expect it. Don't let this issue take you down and be happy. Going desperate won't give you any benefit. You still have plenty of time to start a relationship.

It's not really our place to define what is normal and what isn't. What really matters if that you're happy and content with yourself now before you meet Ms. Right. You should focus on you because while relationships are wonderful, nothing is more wonderful than your own secure happiness. And when you're happy and confident, people are typically drawn to you. It's pretty crazy. 

I think everyone has their own pace in life. Just because you haven't dated anyone or found anyone doesn't mean you're defective or abnormal. It just means your taking things more slowly. Maybe you need to focus on something else before you can find them. Who really knows? But "normal" is just a dumb word anyway, and you can't even truly define it (2deep4u). Just don't worry too much about it and keep your chin up. As someone who likes boys and girls but prefers girls, I can 100% understand where you're coming from and how difficult the struggle is to find them. 

Aw thank you guys!

If it can reassure you, I first fell in love when I was 23 (and we're still together). The closest to a relationship I had before that was, er, a friend with benefit but there was never any sentimental involvement.

I feel ya. I'm 15, and at least everyone in my school's been in a relationship at least 2 times. I've never even asked anyone out if you don't count kindergarten.
I have my crushes, but either I didn't like her enough to ask her out, or I waited too long until she got a boyfriend. Right now, I'm too busy with my schoolwork and extracurriculars to even worry about dating.
I'm also conflicted about it- at times, I think it's stupid and unnecessary, but recently, I've been thinking about asking my crush out. Otherwise, I'm not going to worry about dating.
I don't think people would even worry about or make fun of you if you haven't been in a relationship to this point, or even later, so I wouldn't worry about being "mainstream" and getting a date just to be dating, but when you find that special, awesome someone for you, then go for it!

nothing wrong with that society may seem it as abnormal but who cares what our very flawed society thinks

There's no real definition for normal when it comes to dating situations.  But it is unusual that you haven't had a romantic relationship with anyone and you're 21.  You're starting to get behind with how to do all of it.  Others have experience and now they're off and running and you don't have the experience.

But that's fine.  Go out, go meet some people, go see who you like and try dating, even if it's with someone you don't love right out the gate.  You'll learn about yourself and you'll figure out what works and what doesn't.  It's all in the practice and experimentation.