Pokémon Light  Platinum is by far, my favorite and (in my humble opinion) the very best Pokémon ROM hack out there. The game has Pokémon from ALL OF THE REGIONS EXCEPT KALOS, which is mind blowing for a GBA romhack. The game is pretty balanced, but can get to be very hard near the end of the second region. Which brings me to my ratings.
Graphics : 10. 
For the GBA, this game has a very Diamond/Pearl feel to it, and it looks amazing. 'Nuff said.
Sound : 9.
Now some of the sounds are just built in to the base ROM, but the custom sounds are amazing! Also, all the new Pokémon have their same cries.
Addictiveness : 10
Its Pokémon!!!! With 2 ENTIRE regions to explore, plus all the Pokémon from every region (but Kalos), this game is AWESOME!!
Story : 7.
It's the same as ever. Evil team, beat the league, win life. That being said, there are a lot of battles only available after the (spoiler alert)
Pokémon World Championships are beaten.
Depth : 10
2. WHOLE. REGIONS. And is fun.
Difficulty : 8.
The game is pretty balanced, but can get to be very hard near the end of the second region
Overall : 9.8
I would give a perfect 10, but there were a few... mistakes. If you boat across a river at the second gym to go to the next area WITHOUT beating the easy to miss second gym, you will be trapped and forced to reset. Yeahhh...............

For only being a little over 250 words, I say you did pretty good. You did a good job of separating the review into different categories. In the future, you should try to add more details as to why you gave each the scores you gave them. Overall though, I think you did a decent job.

   I have played this game but never beat it because it is a very hard game forcing you to grind a lot before like almost every gym. Though of what I have played of it I agree it is probably the very best hack of pokemon on Vizzed at the moment.

   As for your review it was okayish. but I think you should add more details rather than just saying nuff said for the graphics.

To add to what others said, consider spacing your review a little more; it makes the reading easier. Also, especially for such a rich series as Pokémon, consider comparing it to the rest of the series, or even just the original game from which it was hacked.