Alright, once again, this isn't about me, I'm a guy who solves people problems with his fists.



I met this girl online, and she's mute, has purple eyes, and is lesbian. Now I know I can't be 100% about this stuff, due to online stuff, but before I started very literally fighting myself out of these situations, I was a victim of being called a gay (which I'm not)and other things myself, and I hold the people that did it in contempt to this day.



She said herself the things I listed, but this is something I really want to help with, if I can. I run into her on the site quite a bit, and I could say stuff there. But you know. Any ideas?



Info that I've put together-



-Self-proclaimed bulky victim, lesbian, purple eyes, and mute



-Plays basketball, bullied by teammates, which makes them the lowest of the low.







-said fighting isn't an option





-was putting up a lot of suicidal stuff






Now look, I know mood swings happen, and suicidal school kids feel better really quick, myself having tried to help a friend and staying up until 6 AM, at which point I got ready for school. Trying to find bible verses and online stuff to help him as well as stuff I can say, and he turned out better the next day, but I want to help her, so any ideas?



Note-And no, she isn't in my school, I'd deal with this myself if she were.



And if any of you DO by some chance know her, then deal with it. Please.

Generally, solving anything with your fists is the worst, weakest, dumbest way to do things.  You have conflict and you need to resolve it?  Hit someone?  

Do you think that's how things work in the real world?  You can't walk around at a job somewhere and fight someone because they disagree with you.  You should try to find other ways to deal with things.  While you're walking around punching people, you're building a real big group who doesn't like you one bit.  And you'll end up squaring off with someone bigger, faster, stronger, more skilled, and more aggressive.  Or you get jumped and beat up.  

Violence isn't something to be proud of.  Show me the part in the Bible where Jesus said, "Deal with anger by hitting other people."  You sound like you're a bully when you automatically resort to fists.


So, she has some options.  If she is a self-proclaimed victim, then she has the mentality that she can never win this or be successful.  There's no sense in trying because she'll go all Eeyore (from Winnie the Pooh) on you and say, "Well, I knew nothing would work anyway."

Tell her these things:

1.  Ask her teammates on the basketball team to teach her.  Tell them they're better then she is and they can help her improve.  If she goes to them for help, there's a teacher/student relationship and they see her as a project, not someone who's dragging the team down.  If the cold-hearted chicks say no, she can leave and find a new sport.  She doesn't have to to accept attacks but she can make the switch and leave the environment.

How does she communicate?  Maybe she can start something where kids teach her signs if she speaks ASL and she can get them communicating with her.  Or do you mean "shy" when you say "mute"?

Outside the basketball thing, she can stop telling everyone in sight that she's a lesbian.  It sets her a part and invites criticism.  She can be a lesbian, that's fine, but if she's getting bullied, maybe she should keep that info to herself.

She can also start working on her fitness if she's "bulky."  I read bulky to mean fat.  She can educate herself on healthy eating and more exercise and make some changes to improve herself.

Here's the point: If you don't like something, make a change.  Have her write down what she likes about herself and what she doesn't like.  Have her focus and develop on the things she likes and either alter or quit the things she doesn't like.

Titan127 : Okay...this is a complicated situation. Seriously? Purple eyes??? Wow, I can see the bullying going on there. But agian, if this is info over the net. It's not altogether trustworthy. If you do not know her personally, I would try to offer comfort and kind words, but that would be as far as I would go on the matter. I mean, the purple eyes thing seems a little not right, if you ask me. There's also a lot of conditions that she listed. It just seems like too much for one person to actually have. But besides that point, I'm guessing she might not want to hear about the BIBLE, but like tornadocam said, maybe it might help. And I also think what warmaker said about the lesbian thing might be right too. Anyways, it's commendable that you want to help. (one hint though, I've learned that fighting--whether physical or with words, is not always the best way to win. Don't get me wrong though, sometimes a bully needs to understand that you're not afraid.)

warmaker : Thanks for the advice, and it might sound like I'm a bulky but when it goes on for a few days, I kinda get sick of it, and this isn't about me anyways, but thanks, I'll see if this helps. if you wanna tell me to stop cracking skulls do it over a PM, please. (Hasn't happened since that one kid, lol)

tornadocam : good idea with the bible, and yeah, Imma Christian. I'll try that too. And thank you for mentioning fighting as a last resort.

FaithFighter : Yeah, that's why I said I couldn't be 100%. It does seem like to much and I was kinda worried that the thread would become a flame on me for being so gullible, XD

Thanks for the help guys!
And anyone else who believes violence is never the answer*cough*warmaker*cough* tell me over PM. This isn't to help me, but her.

Titan127 : Sorry, I knew that wasn't the issue at hand here, but I figured I'd just say I agreed on that part. 

FaithFighter : no problem, you took the time out of your day to help, and that's more than. I could've asked for. Thanks man.