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parents getting divorce...
11-04-14 03:10 PM
generalspleen is Offline
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Hey. Its been awhile since i last posted. Havent had computer access for awhile. But im posting off my phone for this cause im in a dark depressive state and need help. This all started about 2 weeks ago. I was hanging outwith my friend and neighbor phoenix all day. We were having a good time. Playing games, watching movies, even carve pumpkins.shes an amazing friend. But anyways i leave her housr around 9pm ish and walk home. As soon as i leave her house i notice 2 cars parked in front of my parents house and my dad outside. When i get closer the cars were actually police officers. My dad tells me to go inside and not to worry. So i go inside. i go outside to clear my head and to try to figure out whats going on. I see my mom in the back of one of the cop cars. I freak out and talk to my dad to try and figure out whats going on. He says its none of my business. So i get pissed and walk off. End up hurting my hand on a stop sign, went back home and try to |
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11-04-14 04:16 PM
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Local Mods : Double posted thread. Close? |
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What is life? |
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11-04-14 04:23 PM
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It was an accident. I dont even know how it happened. But only close one. Not both. Im sorry |
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11-05-14 12:07 AM
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11-05-14 09:57 AM
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11-05-14 12:12 PM
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First of all I do not know your religious beliefs but as a Christian I will pray for you. Second, despite what your parents say it is not your fault. Often times when divorces like this happen the children are pulled in the middle. In fact both parents will often blame the child for their divorce. It damages the child. I want to know it is not your fault. When I was in psychology our professor who is a psychologists and has handled cases like this told the class one thing they tell the kids is it is not your fault. It sounds like you are being thrown in the middle. You mom maybe saying those things to you, which she should not do, out of frustration of the entire divorce. It seems like this has been building up for a long time. As for help. I would recommend seeking counseling via a counselor or even a pastor. I also recommend relying on your friends. Seeking counseling is not a weakness they can help you work through this. Now as I stated I am a Christian. So I would also turn to God and ask him to give you strength to go through this. I will also offer you friendship that if you need to talk feel free to message me. I know this is long but I hope this helps again it is not your fault no matter what your parents or their friends say. You Mom's friends are probably upset still that gave them no reason to take their frustration out on you. As for help. I would recommend seeking counseling via a counselor or even a pastor. I also recommend relying on your friends. Seeking counseling is not a weakness they can help you work through this. Now as I stated I am a Christian. So I would also turn to God and ask him to give you strength to go through this. I will also offer you friendship that if you need to talk feel free to message me. I know this is long but I hope this helps again it is not your fault no matter what your parents or their friends say. You Mom's friends are probably upset still that gave them no reason to take their frustration out on you. |
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11-06-14 12:19 PM
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I've had many friends go through the game things and I agree with what tornado said and i will be praying for yo aswell.(sorry if it isn't much but tornado said what i would have put) |
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11-06-14 03:08 PM
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Hey, bro. I've already said everything I know to say, but just posting here in solidarity. I'm here for you, imperfectly. Please don't listen to your mom. Please take care of yourself. |
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11-06-14 08:41 PM
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Egh, that's rough. My parents are divorced, but under different pretenses . It's probably natural to feel a bit down about such a thing, but my no means be depressed. Find happiness within yourself (or your God), not within people. People will always let you down. Your mother's anger is probably a build up and she shouldn't have blamed you for her folly or problem. There are very few people who are to be considered stains on society and I highly doubt you are one of them. If you think she honestly feels this way about you ask her to elaborate. Don't let others damage your self-esteem, especially when you have done no wrong. Keep this in mind when/if you ask her why she said that and if she goes off again. You should live for yourself and for the people who love you. Don't let sorrow get a hold of you because it doesn't like to let go. Sorry if this didn't help. You should live for yourself and for the people who love you. Don't let sorrow get a hold of you because it doesn't like to let go. Sorry if this didn't help. |
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11-19-14 10:48 AM
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This post hits extremely close to home for me. I don't talk about it much with people around me, but my parents went through a bad...bad divorce. I was 6. It finally ended last summer. My suggestions: - Stick close to friends, be sure to keep up relationships with them. They will help you get through this tough time. - Know that your parents do love you, regardless what they say. Times like these make them very emotional, and they will say anything to keep you out of the situation. It's possible they are willing to say hurtful things because they believe you will get hurt more by trying to get involved. - Find a hobby, something to take you mind off things - Don't pick one parent over another if they start fighting over you. That was my mistake. My suggestions: - Stick close to friends, be sure to keep up relationships with them. They will help you get through this tough time. - Know that your parents do love you, regardless what they say. Times like these make them very emotional, and they will say anything to keep you out of the situation. It's possible they are willing to say hurtful things because they believe you will get hurt more by trying to get involved. - Find a hobby, something to take you mind off things - Don't pick one parent over another if they start fighting over you. That was my mistake. |
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11-19-14 02:07 PM
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Sorry I haven't been keeping up with this guys. The next day after I posted this I started getting sick. Now I have the flu as well as a double ear infection. My left ear cant hear that well because of it and I am praying that it will not be a permanent thing. As for an Thank you very much and have a blessed day :-) generalspleen aka Shawn Thank you very much and have a blessed day :-) generalspleen aka Shawn |
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11-19-14 02:58 PM
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I will be honest. Your mom is not a good parent to you. A parent's job is to take care of you, even making sacrifices just so you can have a decent life, not blame you for everything that went wrong in their life. That must be rough for you, having to hear such harshness from your mom who clearly shouldn't have been a parent if she thinks her life has gone downhill because of her own child. :/ Some of your real life friends are not any better either. If they really were your friends, they would have listen to you, maybe even forgive you, and probably noticed you were not in a good mood, not make your life any more miserable than it already is. They should be helping you when life gets rough for you, not make it all worse :/ You are not scum. You are not a waste to society. You do not deserve to live in the streets like your so-called friends say. I hope your dad doesn't kick you out because some childish adults can't handle a person who tried to resolve the situation multiple times. I hope you feel better from your sickness as well. And I hope your life takes a turn for the better. Dealing with a mother who prefers her needs and preferences over her own child's and having "friends" who want to make your life worse is definitely not fun at all. Some of your real life friends are not any better either. If they really were your friends, they would have listen to you, maybe even forgive you, and probably noticed you were not in a good mood, not make your life any more miserable than it already is. They should be helping you when life gets rough for you, not make it all worse :/ You are not scum. You are not a waste to society. You do not deserve to live in the streets like your so-called friends say. I hope your dad doesn't kick you out because some childish adults can't handle a person who tried to resolve the situation multiple times. I hope you feel better from your sickness as well. And I hope your life takes a turn for the better. Dealing with a mother who prefers her needs and preferences over her own child's and having "friends" who want to make your life worse is definitely not fun at all. |
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11-19-14 03:24 PM
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Don't let anyone say those things to you if you can help it. If they're yelling at you for no reason just walk away or hang up on them. Its only going to make you sadder. If I was in your position and I had the money I'd move into an apartment or family member's house until they settled their arguments. If I was in your position and I had the money I'd move into an apartment or family member's house until they settled their arguments. |
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11-21-14 05:30 PM
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AriaAngelDream : Thank you aria. It is kinda hard to remember that I am not scum when it is my own mother who gave birth to me telling me these things. I know I am not scum on earth. As for my friends those were the only two people who I have hung out with. Actually I don't know if I said it in my earthwarrior : Trust me when I say I would love to move out of here and into my own place. Heck I would even do it right now at this very moment. But I don't have any money saved up because of how earlier in the year I was homeless and had to use my savings to basically save my life by buying food and what not. I could move in with my bro in Texas most likely or find a place by my sis in Arkansas but because of my lack of money I cant do that sadly. earthwarrior : Trust me when I say I would love to move out of here and into my own place. Heck I would even do it right now at this very moment. But I don't have any money saved up because of how earlier in the year I was homeless and had to use my savings to basically save my life by buying food and what not. I could move in with my bro in Texas most likely or find a place by my sis in Arkansas but because of my lack of money I cant do that sadly. |
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12-02-14 01:29 AM
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generalspleen: Heya Shawn, I read through this whole thread, and I'm here to tell ya that yer not scum, whatsoever. I realize it's not easy to ignore such an insult from a parental figure, but ya must try yer best to not let it get to ya. Ya didn't do anythin' to deserve this torment from what I can see. Yer mother's wrong; it's not and never will be yer fault, no matter what she says, sober or not. Sure, she and yer father are goin' through somethin' big and bad themselves, but that's NO excuse to take it out on ya or to blame ya for it. It sounds more like yer mother wasn't actually ready to be a parent, or didn't know how to parent at all, from the way she blames ya for things. This may sound mean, but it's her own fault for not bein' ready to take on that kinda responsibility; then it's even worse when she later pushes the blame on someone who doesn't even deserve it, nor can help it, for that matter. Now, onto yer "friends". They're the ones who sound more like scumbags if they won't even try to understand yer own troubles; they're bein' selfish and hurtful and that's certainly not how friendship works. I would know, 'cause when I was younger and stupider, my own selfish bratiness almost cost me my best friend in the whole freakin' world. If I didn't shape myself up, there would come a time where he wouldn't wanna take my fizz anymore. Anyway, if they can't understand that what they're doin' is wrong and won't try to help ya like friends SHOULD be doin', then all I can say is that ya deserve better, and yer too good for them. In fact, a happier future may be right where yer bro lives, or yer sister if ya had the money. It sucks that ya just don't have the funds, though. Maybe set up a place for people to donate for ya would help? Finally, I have to tell ya that things WILL get better eventually. It may take a long time, or it could happen tomorrow; one thing's for sure, though, it will happen. Just keep believin', hopin', prayin', whatever it is ya need to do to help ya get through. And remember; we at Vizzed are here for ya for yer time of need; at least, I am! *Hug!* It sounds more like yer mother wasn't actually ready to be a parent, or didn't know how to parent at all, from the way she blames ya for things. This may sound mean, but it's her own fault for not bein' ready to take on that kinda responsibility; then it's even worse when she later pushes the blame on someone who doesn't even deserve it, nor can help it, for that matter. Now, onto yer "friends". They're the ones who sound more like scumbags if they won't even try to understand yer own troubles; they're bein' selfish and hurtful and that's certainly not how friendship works. I would know, 'cause when I was younger and stupider, my own selfish bratiness almost cost me my best friend in the whole freakin' world. If I didn't shape myself up, there would come a time where he wouldn't wanna take my fizz anymore. Anyway, if they can't understand that what they're doin' is wrong and won't try to help ya like friends SHOULD be doin', then all I can say is that ya deserve better, and yer too good for them. In fact, a happier future may be right where yer bro lives, or yer sister if ya had the money. It sucks that ya just don't have the funds, though. Maybe set up a place for people to donate for ya would help? Finally, I have to tell ya that things WILL get better eventually. It may take a long time, or it could happen tomorrow; one thing's for sure, though, it will happen. Just keep believin', hopin', prayin', whatever it is ya need to do to help ya get through. And remember; we at Vizzed are here for ya for yer time of need; at least, I am! *Hug!* |
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(edited by TaFYfy on 12-02-14 02:09 AM)
12-02-14 06:34 AM
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Well I can't say that I actually know what you're going through since my parents divorced when I was really young so I don't remember it. However I would have to agree with everyone that's posted. You are not scum. The parents usually blame the kids in divorces and say hurtful things they don't mean. It's hard on them too so don't take what they say to heart, they don't mean it at all and I'm sure you'll get an apology soon. If not then I'm not sure what to tell you I haven't talked to my dad in ten years so I'm no help there. As for your friends they should be there for you. If they don't know what's going on then they can't help but if they do then they aren't being very good friends. Also they shouldn't have pestered you while you were in a bad mood. People always say things they don't mean and hurtful things while in bad moods. However that they wouldn't listen to your apology is on their heads. My advice, get some counseling it's not a sign of weakness, if your religious prayer usually helps, and find someone who you can crash on their couch for a few days while things simmer down. If they don't then you can always set up a donation fund or go to the red cross. I wish I could help but the best I can do presently is offer advice and give you someone to rant to. If you need anything let me know. Things may look bad now but they always get better. Never forget that, it gets better! Hope I helped at least a little bit. Well I can't say that I actually know what you're going through since my parents divorced when I was really young so I don't remember it. However I would have to agree with everyone that's posted. You are not scum. The parents usually blame the kids in divorces and say hurtful things they don't mean. It's hard on them too so don't take what they say to heart, they don't mean it at all and I'm sure you'll get an apology soon. If not then I'm not sure what to tell you I haven't talked to my dad in ten years so I'm no help there. As for your friends they should be there for you. If they don't know what's going on then they can't help but if they do then they aren't being very good friends. Also they shouldn't have pestered you while you were in a bad mood. People always say things they don't mean and hurtful things while in bad moods. However that they wouldn't listen to your apology is on their heads. My advice, get some counseling it's not a sign of weakness, if your religious prayer usually helps, and find someone who you can crash on their couch for a few days while things simmer down. If they don't then you can always set up a donation fund or go to the red cross. I wish I could help but the best I can do presently is offer advice and give you someone to rant to. If you need anything let me know. Things may look bad now but they always get better. Never forget that, it gets better! Hope I helped at least a little bit. |
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12-02-14 10:20 AM
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TaFYfy : thank you. That actually helped me a lot. But I do have a couple things to ask you. First is "and I'm not trying to be negative or put you down" I noticed you kept saying "yer" and "ya". I saw your fairly new here but I wanted to warn you since I'm not entirely sure but the mods might get mad for talking like that since its harder to read and its not "appropriate" spelling. Again I am not trying to put you down or upset you. I'm just trying to help you so in the future you wont get in trouble. And the other thing is you said something about donations? How does that work and if you know how to do it could you PM me telling me how? I would really appreciate it. madmonk_adam : I used to get counseling when I was younger because I am mildly autistic but now I can because literally no one around my area takes my medical insurance. I couldn't also go crash on one of my friends couches for a couple days because those two "friends" that I was talking about in this thread were literally my only two friends around me that I could hang out and do stuff. I've just been fishing by myself and playing video games since I "lost" them. And you also said something about a donation fund? If you know how to do that could you also pm me and let me know how? also to both of you two you both are fairly new so even if it is out of place I wanted to welcome you to vizzed. And I hope you will love it here if you guys need any help or anything feel free to message me and I will help you the best I can. Thank you very much and have a blessed day madmonk_adam : I used to get counseling when I was younger because I am mildly autistic but now I can because literally no one around my area takes my medical insurance. I couldn't also go crash on one of my friends couches for a couple days because those two "friends" that I was talking about in this thread were literally my only two friends around me that I could hang out and do stuff. I've just been fishing by myself and playing video games since I "lost" them. And you also said something about a donation fund? If you know how to do that could you also pm me and let me know how? also to both of you two you both are fairly new so even if it is out of place I wanted to welcome you to vizzed. And I hope you will love it here if you guys need any help or anything feel free to message me and I will help you the best I can. Thank you very much and have a blessed day |
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the god of cop chases |
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12-02-14 11:11 AM
TaFYfy is Offline
| ID: 1110328 | 130 Words
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Thanks for the welcome! Unfortunately I wouldn't know much of anythin' 'bout settin' up places to donate, so I think yer best option is gonna be either Madmonk_Adam (if he knows, that is) or good ol' Google. As for my "ya"s and "yer"s, I guess it should've been mentioned on my intro thread... See, I tend to type how I speak as a form of self-expression, so it's not a surprise when someone's put off by it. I can fully understand a strict demand for proper grammar and spellin', and I try my best to abide by this. But if my means of typin' really becomes a problem (or annoyin', maybe), I'll stop and type more properly. Last thing I wanna do is attract trouble just 'cause I type funny. As for my "ya"s and "yer"s, I guess it should've been mentioned on my intro thread... See, I tend to type how I speak as a form of self-expression, so it's not a surprise when someone's put off by it. I can fully understand a strict demand for proper grammar and spellin', and I try my best to abide by this. But if my means of typin' really becomes a problem (or annoyin', maybe), I'll stop and type more properly. Last thing I wanna do is attract trouble just 'cause I type funny. |
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Candyman |
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(edited by TaFYfy on 12-02-14 11:21 AM)
12-02-14 11:46 AM
generalspleen is Offline
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generalspleen
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TaFYfy : dang. Well I guess I'll have to wait for mad monk and see if he know how. And I know about self expression. I write poetry (which I really should get back into. Its been to long.) so I know what your talking about. I just wanted to give you a heads up just in case you know. We got to look out for each other on here. We are all family new and old members alike in my opinion. And speaking about my poetry before my "friends" turned on me I actually wrote two poems for one of the two "friends" for her birthday. This was before the incident. I'm going to try and post them today if you would be interested. I have to shower first because I smell lol. But after I shower I'll post them. Or try too. Thank you very much and have a blessed day Thank you very much and have a blessed day |
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the god of cop chases |
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12-02-14 03:39 PM
TaFYfy is Offline
| ID: 1110405 | 72 Words
| ID: 1110405 | 72 Words
It's alright; I'm hopin' it won't cause trouble in any case, and I'm actually glad ya brought that to my attention. So thanks! Oh, ya write poetry, eh? Well, I'd like to see yer stuff sometime (though probably in the Stories/Simulation/Art board, rather than here, heh). Maybe writin' more would help vent yer troubles. Speakin' of which, have ya been doin' okay lately? It's been a short while, after all. Just curious. Oh, ya write poetry, eh? Well, I'd like to see yer stuff sometime (though probably in the Stories/Simulation/Art board, rather than here, heh). Maybe writin' more would help vent yer troubles. Speakin' of which, have ya been doin' okay lately? It's been a short while, after all. Just curious. |
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Candyman |
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