This past month just doesn't seem to be my best...I've been through alot of trials, been through alot of pain, and worst of all almost lost 2 important people to me. But is this all that I have to face? I don't think clouds of sadness wanted to give me the sympathy I required, as just last night I was talking to a friends through chat and apparently when she tried talking to a dear friend of her's apparently the guy yelled at her and told her to just crawl in a pit and die & sadly for me she's taking that advice into heart. But is it really all her fault...

or does the fault lie from within me?

You see I tried to give her advice the day before on telling her what she should say and tell that person how she felt but apparently those words are what have led to this downfall of her spirit...(just like mine a few days back which looking back on now I feel foolish for acting that way) to which she replied saying "How...could this happen, I just expressed my feelings and it's like I've been shot by a revolver. Not only that but those words you gave me didn't help me at all...if only I had laid in the life of lies we could've stay the same. This is your ***** fault why did you have to tell me those things I'm better off dead now that being alive without anyone! I hope you enjoy this chat because it's the last memory you'll ever have of me!


So I must, I'm filled with grief and remorse once more and once again...is it really my fault this time as well? I've seen too much death in my life, it always brings me back to my memories of being a child and everytime no matter how hard I try to cry nor how much I want to beg, I know that this nightmare won't ever end. If they eat the canister, am I the guilty one at fault here or is there a mystery left behind that I can't solve on my own? How many lives have I ruined before I get payed back with my own retribution, people wonder why I have epilepsy and seizures....it's because of catastrophic events like these that always happen no matter what age I live on in.


If anyone see's this let me ask...who's the devil lurking in the shadows here? Is it really me or some ghostly apparition? I just hope this time after 12 long years I don't have hear the voice of a friend die right above my ears once more. The sound of the phone dropping and hitting the stone cold floor and I fall to me knees shivering and wanting to run out the door. 

It's not your fault.

Something didn't go well for that girl and that's too bad.  But it isn't because of you.  She picked her words and said what she said and the friend responded differently.  It hurt her feelings.  Most people don't want to accept failure and they're embarrassed or ashamed.

She blamed you because it's way easier than her reevaluating her own life, her choices, and her relationship with this person.  It's not your fault she told someone something and they didn't like it.

"My friend told me to tell you I like you and we should go out."

"I'm not interested in dating you."

"It's my friend's fault you said no!  I hate my life!"

That's silly.  That's not how it works and she should be ashamed for putting her failure on you.  

warmaker : I understand that it's just i have that little piece of doubt inside me that made me feel bad.  Can't do much seeing as she's gone now, unless I'm a spirit medium I can't do much. 

sonicthehedgehog57 : You can offer to listen.  You can offer to help if they ask. If anyone decides to kill themself or otherwise harm themself, that is their decision.  There is nothing you can do outside of offering help.  She asked, you said what you thought was the answer, it didn't work.

I'm baffled that people commit suicide over what seems to be the smallest of things.  You didn't fill us in on the whole story and you don't have to but someone killing themselves over what you described?  Mindless.  Stupid.  I'm sorry your emotions are destroyed by such a cowardly, selfish act.

I have a good friend who killed himself.  He had things going on and no one knew about them.  We never had a chance to kill him.  I'm still angry at him and that was 8 years ago.  I understand how you feel.

It's too bad.  Keep things moving, Sonic, you're doing okay.

It's okay to feel bad about what happened, especially if it's a friend, but you don't have to go around thinking that it was your fault. Do you know the other person? It is much harder to give advice regarding another person if you don't know how they will react to it, so you don't have to go stressing about this.

sonicthehedgehog57 : I agree with zanderlex. It's not your fault really it's not.