Hello everyone...wow its been ages since I did a thread....I didn't want to do a thread yet because am working on some things but, I thought I should update those who saw my last thread. I am please to say all went well and I think I know my emotions went out of control.....you see as I said before I never had a real life friend to talk to.....so I locked and closed up my emotions....I could tell my family but, because they are black they won't give the advice I need to sustain it.....yes I took a big risk of doing this for 22 years.....if you are going to say you shouldn't lock it then let me ask you this question. Who was I to tell? For someone like me I don't let people know about my personal life not until I see the understanding.....and I don't go out as much, who was the person or people to hear me out? I wanted to talk to other people besides from my family that's all I wanted but, kept it in.

I think....because now I have friends on here it was telling me, *I want to be fixed, I want to unleash this pain and sadness that has been locked in, I need to help you and well......for eni, you have locked up too much which needs to be said* so.... on netplay....*Boom* it came out.....I want to say sorry for those I accidentally snapped at....I didn't mean to at all....I really am sorry.....I had to leave so....no one would get hurt by my words for me and for the others......so...I kept wondering why my emotions unleashed itself like that.....Corrina who helped me at the time said some things....I kept asking unknown questions I wanted to know.....then it finally hit me *Friendship* I started to learn that when I came to vizzed......so because of that many good changes happened within me without knowing it......so I continued to wonder again....I really do think a lot maybe because I don't go out I wonder about many things in life.....

as soon as I found out the problem I spoke to corrina daily to help ease my emotions and to suppress it as well...to tell the truth I was not meant to be back until Nov. something happened meaning, made me to return earlier than expected. please don't ask of that one. I have notice friendship. can take you on a rollercoaster in a good way or in a bad way but, what I learn was that no matter how many times you fight with a friend, and your friendship broke because of that. doesn't mean you won't be friends again. I believe one day you will be friends again, and from then your bond will be so much stronger than it was in the past.....I thought about this, I am a writer so,......any new things I learn about friendship I should write that down in hope of being a better friend, being more understanding and being there for others when needed.

Friends always have your back no matter what....even if you are not friends anymore with a person. But still, there is so much to learn that I realized that so when I can I will grab that opportunity. My progress is now...

Not to be afraid of what a good friend will say if you have a problem with them be brave and tell them whats on your mind.
To try and open myself up more.....this is something I am still struggling but, I believe one day I will be able too. ^-^
If I have something on my mind don't hide it tell it to a trustworthy friend of yours and I am sure that friend will help.
If I am very sad for a reason talk it over and I am sure some friends will be able to cheer me up

For many who know, I am really happy everyday but, its not easy to smile.....my reasons to smile is my family and my friends here.....we all have our own adventure we are living on now, this is mine whereas everyone is different, I could express more but, please feel free to pm me, that knows me well for anymore questions, and I will try my best to explain them all.

Heres another advice I want to give out for everyone :

Always treasure your friends when they are online.

Don't start to talk with them, if they say that they are leaving (it doesn't make sense if you do that)

If you haven't spoken with a friend for a long time, lets say for weeks or maybe a month. you might want to start talking again before that friend, has any ideas on what he or she will do. and lose that friendship that was there.

Spend time with a friend chat or play games to keep that bond in.

Never, I mean never ever lose contact with a good friend or.....I'm not going to say what will happen but, you should know what I mean.

If you have any old friends and then you make new friends please, please don't lose contact with them because the bond you have there will be different to everyone else, so talk to your old friends daily if you can please.....

If you have a fight with a friend, please talk it out in a way so you can settle the problem.

And never misjudge a good friend at all that will also break into a fight as well. if you have a lot of respect for a friend and know them well you will see what he or she says is right.

Things like this can make you strong everyday so I live to my fullest to learn and to seek, and again I am sorry for those who I snapped at on netplay.... remember vizzed is a family to fight help friends or as you call them bros and sis in need. that's what make a family bond tight...


Ok.....I think that's about it, time to summons now.

SunflowerGaming :
TornadoMudkip :
pokemon x :
GuardianZack :
Barathemos :
Singelli :
BluemageKyle : I thought you should know this......

I didn't want to summon too many people, so sorry for the others I planned on doing......

I am very happy that you are feeling better. It's good to talk about it to friends. I hope you don't have to hold all your emotions in for so long. I hope you have a good day and have a happy year! Post by yours truly, paper luigi. Enii one of the most awesome people ever.

Eniitan : Wow..... I don't really know exactly what to say to this. It makes me happy that you have expressed yourself and what has happened. Also, I liked some of your advice. No, I LOVED IT.
SuperCrash64 :
Singelli :
You are 2 people that I have had big fights with, I am I want to say that I am sorry for doing all that. Please forgive me.

Uhh...i dont even know what to say. Uh im glad you feel better and its great that you told us this. So thats all i have to say....have a great day.

Eniitan : Well, as you said, when you have something to say, you should never be afraid to say it. That is one point in which I agree with you on, because people who matter don't mind, and people who mind, don't matter. As long as you talk to someone about an issue, and you don't try to offend them or degrade their beliefs in any way, then they should be willing to listen to you. People should take time to listen, and to consider what not only their friends, but people have to say in general. If everyone learned tolerance and respect- choosing to listen and understand, instead of arguing and ignoring- the world might not be in such bad shape. People who truly care about you, even if they feel uncomfortable, will care about your feelings as a person, and try to be considerate, even if they don't necessarily agree. Although it may have a negative impact to stand up for someone when they are wrong, friends should stand by you when you make the wrong decisions, regardless of whether they participate or not. They should be supportive when you make a mistake, even when they know you are making one, because mistakes aren't always so easily seen, despite when others warn you. I never really saw mistakes as negative things, because just like positive influences, you always have something to learn from them. The important factor is that you actually do learn from them, else mistakes tend to repeat themselves, and you end up hurting everyone in the process. As much as I agree with supporting people, they have to be willing to change themselves, else time is just wasted. People who aren't willing to change not only hurt themselves, but hurt those who care about them in the process, by keeping everything in and refusing that change; making those who love you feel helpless is one of the most selfish things a person can do.

With that being said, I have to disagree with you on your other points. People who are true friends won't just agree with you out of fear they will hurt your feelings, because honesty always does the least damage, when you consider that lies only help further instigate negative situations. Anyway, on to the first issue.

I don't really understand why you say that your family is incapable of helping you and giving the advice you need, simply because they are black. That seems a bit of a racist comment to make, although I do understand that culture can be related to race. Even so, that doesn't always necessarily hold true, because you could use yourself as an example. I have to admit that, when I first met you, I had the impression you were white. Loving anime, being an avid gamer, and shyness aren't really the cultural norm of a black person, yet you are all three. I can agree that often times different cultures fit their stereotypes because it holds true for the majority, else they wouldn't be stereotypes to begin with. But you should never avoid someone or just assume that they fit the stereotype without first getting to know them, because they could very well surprise you. Sadly, there are more people that allow themselves to be conformed to society's expectations than there are unique individuals, but that is impossible to determine without giving them a chance. You shouldn't make the judgment that your family can't help, until you actually try. And even if they can't help, you have to consider how that makes them feel to be helpless in those situations, and not know what to do. The important thing to realize is that, regardless of whether they are able to help you or not, they are trying, which shows that they do love you. In the end, is that not the entire point to begin with?

The other issue is with your statement about always being friends. If you think that friendships can always be repaired, you are wrong. Sometimes, there are so many differences, you just can't get along with someone in a positive way. If you end up hurting and arguing with someone more than you talk things through, then in the end it may be better to walk away. I understand that walking away hurts, but think of it in terms of a romantic relationship, because it is much like the same thing. If you love someone, but know that it could never work out, the best thing you can do for them is to set them free; otherwise, you would just be holding on for their sake, and that can do far more harm than good. In the process of trying to avoid dealing one hurtful blow to someone, you end up being miserable and doing more damage by drawing it out longer. Friendships are very similar to puzzles- every good possibility deserves a chance, but sometimes two puzzle pieces just don't fit together.

Also, no matter how much you care about someone, you have to ask yourself if that same love is reciprocated. Just because you treat a person with consideration and respect, doesn't mean that they are obligated to treat you in the same way, and there are many times when they won't. They may even claim to be your friend, but you can never fully put faith and trust in anyone, even yourself (sometimes, we can be our own worst enemy). Sadly, there is always a possibility of being deceived or abused, no matter how small that possibility may be. Even when you don't want to believe that, you have to in order to survive in this world, or else some people will destroy you. I've had people beg and plead that they cared about me and want me in their lives, only to continue hurting me in the same ways they did before. At some point you just have to realize, that if people are unwilling to change their ways, they will always continue to hurt you. Making mistakes is fine, and people are only human, so that is to be expected; however, repeating history continuously without consideration is far from an accident. You can only do something to someone so many times, before you begin to realize that, it is to some degree, intentional. How can you love someone, if you continuously hurt yourself? Loving someone means realizing that how you treat yourself also affects them, because they in turn love you.

People are often under the impression that their actions only affect them, but that is a huge misconception, and also a very selfish one. The choices they make directly affect those around them like a stone skipping across a lake. From there, and although small at first, a ripple effect ensues. That ripple then spreads out to people you may not even know- your actions affect the people closest to you, who then affect those closest to them. You know I'm here if you need me, and that I mean what I say. As an imperfect person, I can't always promise that I'll be there and never falter, because anyone who could make such a promise will undoubtedly break it. However, I can promise that I will do everything in my power to stick by you, and that is one I can keep.

Your best is all I ever expect. You aren't perfect, but then, none of us are. We should all learn to cherish those imperfections, and see the beauty in them, because they are what ultimately make us unique as individuals.

It is nice you are back even though you sorta pretty much been back before you made this. But on other the other hand about emotions it usually best to repress but not too much at once because then problems can occur but not too little or people will confused get what I mean?

Nice.

Well, it's really brave of you to post this, considering what we had talked about in the chat. You followed your promises, and I really enjoyed it. You said your threads weren't good and "unneeded". Well, look at this! This IS good! This is needed! You're informing others about your well being, and you're giving nice advice.

Apparently, you were just full of stress, and overall confused. Don't be. I mean, it's human nature to do so. But sometimes, it isn't even worth it. Like Zack said, friends are people who choose to listen. Who respect you. You don't have to be kind to others all the time, and snapping out of stress is fine. But tying up loose ends, like I intend to do, is what you should go for if they're truly your friend. And if they are, they'll listen. They'll understand what you're going through, and what you need. Don't be full of anger if you can tie ends. Take the chance, and live it to the fullest. May it end in disaster or success is up to you, the decision maker. But enjoying the moments it happens is key. Live it to the fullest. Enjoy it. Like you said, talking to a friend is something we should all do when they're online. You're right. May the talk be small or huge, it usually ends up in a memory you'll cherish close by your heart. Forever. If you stumble along the road, and try to get back up on your feet, but the "friend" doesn't let you and pushes you down, that's not a friend. That's like a wall, blocking you from what YOU want ultimately. Sure, you may stumble by saying something you didn't mean, and they're offended. That's different. If you offended them, and they're being stubborn, don't annoy them about it, really. Just let them vent it out by themselves. Not all friendships are meant to be, and if they are, they will. If they aren't, they'll fumble.

I love your advice you're giving, like cherishing memories and keeping in touch. That's awesome. As friends, that's what should be happening. But, if it isn't, it won't. Destiny is an unchangeable road; You can try to jump off, but you'll end up back on. Not everytime should you try to repair a friendship. Just cherish it while it lasts, and if you do, it'll never end. It'll be a huge party in life, and just fun. I'm afraid I have to disagree on the repairing thing. Like I've said, if it should happen, it will. If not, just let destiny take its course, and carry you to where you need to go. But I will agree on the spending time thing. Maybe not as much as you're saying to, but definitely enough to make it last. Enough to make it so you can live it to the fullest. Then, if you do misjudge, or fall on the road, you'll at least have memories to cherish and fun to remember. That's what friends are usually for and about. You're right about most of your points. We're a family here, so try to speak your mind and enjoy the ride of fate and destiny. Connect with your siblings, and make bonds with them. Don't be afraid.

But, it's awesome that you're back and in business. We're glad you shared your thoughts, and don't be afraid to share them with us again. We'll be here, listening.