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The Blue Raven- A Story in Verse

 

10-14-13 10:41 PM
Dragonlord Stephi is Offline
| ID: 906120 | 1036 Words

Level: 51


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So I was going through some old files of mine on my computer while stalling working on my Spanish project and found this old novel in verse I wrote about a year ago. I decided, "Hey, I might as well upload it on Vizzed," so here it is. I'm only uploading part of it, since it's very long, but if you like it, please let me know! I might upload some more. As for the ending... I'm not proud of it... it sounds a bit cheesy to me. Oh well.


Part I- The Minstrel

Who am I, you ask?
I am but a boy with a lyre,
A tune in his heart,
A few tricks up his sleeve,
And many tales to tell.
How did I come here, you ask?
By following the wind's song
Over days, months, years,
Until I alighted in this grand hall.
Why are you here, you ask?
The stars have whispered in my ears,
The wind took me here...
For I have a tale to tell;
A tale of love and hope,
peace and joy, content and freedom.
There is hate and discouragement,
War and weeping, greed and shackles.
My lord! My lady!
Allow me to play a tune
Of  a blue raven and the
Pain it went through.
Who am I, but a minstrel,
With nothing but a tale to tell?
So listen closely to what the stars told me,
This musing of the wind.

Part II- The Minstrel
    The Beginning of the Tale- The Prologue

The ancient stars and
The archaic trees,
The wind that has seen millennium pass-
They were there.
It happened, the stars say,
When their light made the night sky
As bright as the day.
It happened, the trees murmur,
When the earth was rich and good,
And the wood of the forest was treasured more than gold.
It happened, the wind whispered,
When it carried a fairy's laugh on its back
And the wind was only a gentle breeze
And the people didn't know of fearsome gales.
In those days the mist was charged with enigma,
While Excalibur was still in its lake.
The fearsome balaurs and jabberwocks still were romping about,
And much questing was done.
In those days, heroes roamed and battles were fought.
The greatest? Those waged among Steven and Saturn,
Sun and moon,
Day and night,
Light and dark,
Bear and bird.
Their battles shook the mountains and made the moon blood-red,
Though not a single drop was shed.
Steven was a conqueror,
Who owned many estates.
His strength and force could not be matched,
For his prowess in battle was great.
Saturn was a raven;
Her hair, eyes, and coat of arms blue.
Her wit and agility was unremarkable,
For she had been gifted with cunning.
A blue raven!
Why call her so?
For her hair and eyes;
For her speed was so fast she was almost in flight,
For her coat of arms, an azure bird.
Rivals since childhood,
Their quarrels split the ground.
Not a kind word could be spoken between them,
But nothing too horrendous was done.
Yet one cold December day,
When the sky and falling snow was gray,
A heinous act was committed.
Steven was killed, his body gone.
My words are not those to tell this tale,
For this tragedy is not my own-
Nay, the stars told it to me in the words of others,
And those words I will speak, for they are true;
I am merely he who relays them to you.
So listen as this tale unravels,
With the utterance of those who witnessed it,
The musings of its villains and paladins,
As they describe the flight of the blue raven.

     Part III- Saturn's Confessions
     To My Father

The time has come, Father,
To write you once more.
Many moons have passed since our last meeting-
Too many.
Between those moons, Father,
I have learned to write.
Though this accomplishment
Was so easily completed by others,
I feel great satisfaction and pride
In doing so myself,
Having been born with the Rune Eye,
In which the letters do not sit still
On the page...
The time has come for me to tell you
How our meeting came to be,
And what happened after.
Don't worry about me,
For I am doing remarkably well;
In fact, in some places people have failed
To recognize me-
An uncommon joy, as you know-
And my house, though small, is quaint
And comforting.
Although I have settled in the
Rhiannons themselves,
The mountain air is crisp and
Wonderful for health,
The weather not too mild yet not too harsh.
Outside the snow is drifting down,
Lazily onto the dirty streets,
Washing them clean.
Father, I must come to why I am writing,
And throughout this letter,
I must stress that I am innocent.
His blood is not on my hands.
My mind is clear of guilt about Steven,
For I did not touch him.
Steven's death would be-is-my death;
Can the moon shine without the sun?
Can there be shadows without light?
Can the night exist without the day?
The eighth of December- that fateful day,
My birthday!
The day of my life,
The day of his death,
The day of change.
The night was covered in a shroud,
Not a heavenly light to be seen.
The darkness was so thick one could scarcely breathe
As it pushed down on me,
Crushing my very being.
Silence was a burden on the arcane gloom,
The sound of my breath seeming like an intruder.
I crept down the hallways of Steven's castle,
Taking care to have complete tranquility,
Deadening any noise.
Steven would never surrender.
Nor will I.
To give up all I've fought for,
Any chance of gaining what I long for,
Any small glimmer of hope...
That is to surrender.
Never!
I proposed a treaty-
No surrenders, no conditions,
Only peace and prosperity.
We would have become allies.
Years of squabbles,
Arguments, fights, suits...
It taxed us heavily,
Smothering our natures.
We were sick of it.
Steven was waiting for me,
Alone as he promised,
So we could discuss fighting with each other-
Not against.
I was unaware everything was about
To change.
So I was going through some old files of mine on my computer while stalling working on my Spanish project and found this old novel in verse I wrote about a year ago. I decided, "Hey, I might as well upload it on Vizzed," so here it is. I'm only uploading part of it, since it's very long, but if you like it, please let me know! I might upload some more. As for the ending... I'm not proud of it... it sounds a bit cheesy to me. Oh well.


Part I- The Minstrel

Who am I, you ask?
I am but a boy with a lyre,
A tune in his heart,
A few tricks up his sleeve,
And many tales to tell.
How did I come here, you ask?
By following the wind's song
Over days, months, years,
Until I alighted in this grand hall.
Why are you here, you ask?
The stars have whispered in my ears,
The wind took me here...
For I have a tale to tell;
A tale of love and hope,
peace and joy, content and freedom.
There is hate and discouragement,
War and weeping, greed and shackles.
My lord! My lady!
Allow me to play a tune
Of  a blue raven and the
Pain it went through.
Who am I, but a minstrel,
With nothing but a tale to tell?
So listen closely to what the stars told me,
This musing of the wind.

Part II- The Minstrel
    The Beginning of the Tale- The Prologue

The ancient stars and
The archaic trees,
The wind that has seen millennium pass-
They were there.
It happened, the stars say,
When their light made the night sky
As bright as the day.
It happened, the trees murmur,
When the earth was rich and good,
And the wood of the forest was treasured more than gold.
It happened, the wind whispered,
When it carried a fairy's laugh on its back
And the wind was only a gentle breeze
And the people didn't know of fearsome gales.
In those days the mist was charged with enigma,
While Excalibur was still in its lake.
The fearsome balaurs and jabberwocks still were romping about,
And much questing was done.
In those days, heroes roamed and battles were fought.
The greatest? Those waged among Steven and Saturn,
Sun and moon,
Day and night,
Light and dark,
Bear and bird.
Their battles shook the mountains and made the moon blood-red,
Though not a single drop was shed.
Steven was a conqueror,
Who owned many estates.
His strength and force could not be matched,
For his prowess in battle was great.
Saturn was a raven;
Her hair, eyes, and coat of arms blue.
Her wit and agility was unremarkable,
For she had been gifted with cunning.
A blue raven!
Why call her so?
For her hair and eyes;
For her speed was so fast she was almost in flight,
For her coat of arms, an azure bird.
Rivals since childhood,
Their quarrels split the ground.
Not a kind word could be spoken between them,
But nothing too horrendous was done.
Yet one cold December day,
When the sky and falling snow was gray,
A heinous act was committed.
Steven was killed, his body gone.
My words are not those to tell this tale,
For this tragedy is not my own-
Nay, the stars told it to me in the words of others,
And those words I will speak, for they are true;
I am merely he who relays them to you.
So listen as this tale unravels,
With the utterance of those who witnessed it,
The musings of its villains and paladins,
As they describe the flight of the blue raven.

     Part III- Saturn's Confessions
     To My Father

The time has come, Father,
To write you once more.
Many moons have passed since our last meeting-
Too many.
Between those moons, Father,
I have learned to write.
Though this accomplishment
Was so easily completed by others,
I feel great satisfaction and pride
In doing so myself,
Having been born with the Rune Eye,
In which the letters do not sit still
On the page...
The time has come for me to tell you
How our meeting came to be,
And what happened after.
Don't worry about me,
For I am doing remarkably well;
In fact, in some places people have failed
To recognize me-
An uncommon joy, as you know-
And my house, though small, is quaint
And comforting.
Although I have settled in the
Rhiannons themselves,
The mountain air is crisp and
Wonderful for health,
The weather not too mild yet not too harsh.
Outside the snow is drifting down,
Lazily onto the dirty streets,
Washing them clean.
Father, I must come to why I am writing,
And throughout this letter,
I must stress that I am innocent.
His blood is not on my hands.
My mind is clear of guilt about Steven,
For I did not touch him.
Steven's death would be-is-my death;
Can the moon shine without the sun?
Can there be shadows without light?
Can the night exist without the day?
The eighth of December- that fateful day,
My birthday!
The day of my life,
The day of his death,
The day of change.
The night was covered in a shroud,
Not a heavenly light to be seen.
The darkness was so thick one could scarcely breathe
As it pushed down on me,
Crushing my very being.
Silence was a burden on the arcane gloom,
The sound of my breath seeming like an intruder.
I crept down the hallways of Steven's castle,
Taking care to have complete tranquility,
Deadening any noise.
Steven would never surrender.
Nor will I.
To give up all I've fought for,
Any chance of gaining what I long for,
Any small glimmer of hope...
That is to surrender.
Never!
I proposed a treaty-
No surrenders, no conditions,
Only peace and prosperity.
We would have become allies.
Years of squabbles,
Arguments, fights, suits...
It taxed us heavily,
Smothering our natures.
We were sick of it.
Steven was waiting for me,
Alone as he promised,
So we could discuss fighting with each other-
Not against.
I was unaware everything was about
To change.
Vizzed Elite
Giving Ged and Eragon a Run For Their Money Since 1998


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-27-12
Location: Baltimore, MD
Last Post: 2274 days
Last Active: 4 days

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: luv2game!,

10-16-13 01:09 PM
luv2game! is Offline
| ID: 907151 | 8 Words

luv2game!
Level: 22

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Dragonlord Stephi : This was awesome. Enough said.
Dragonlord Stephi : This was awesome. Enough said.
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10-16-13 01:53 PM
Dragonlord Stephi is Offline
| ID: 907178 | 27 Words

Level: 51


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luv2game! : Thank you. I thought it was a bit cheesy, but I've always thought everything I write is terrible. Thank you for providing a different opinion. )
luv2game! : Thank you. I thought it was a bit cheesy, but I've always thought everything I write is terrible. Thank you for providing a different opinion. )
Vizzed Elite
Giving Ged and Eragon a Run For Their Money Since 1998


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-27-12
Location: Baltimore, MD
Last Post: 2274 days
Last Active: 4 days

10-16-13 04:57 PM
Singelli is Offline
| ID: 907258 | 169 Words

Singelli
Level: 161


POSTS: 5501/8698
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To judge your own work harshly is the bane of every writer, I think.  LOL I thought you meant the overall ending was cheesy?  Or did you mean this part?

I don't really like it when people post with "This was great" and don't really spark conversation, so I'm going to offer a little more.

This kind of reminded me of Edgar Allan Poe meets Shakespeare.  That's probably a little shallow to say, but it's what I felt while reading the whole thing.  That being said, like most people feel about Shakespearean works, it left me confused. I never had the chance to read Shakespeare, but they're classics, right?  I bet yours has every bit of promise.  XD

What is Steven?  Is he another bird?  Was it stated obviously and I missed it?  

I wouldn't mind reading more.  It's kind of fun to piece things together as you read, and I do love stuff that's pure play with words.

When did you write it?  Your vocabulary was impressive.
To judge your own work harshly is the bane of every writer, I think.  LOL I thought you meant the overall ending was cheesy?  Or did you mean this part?

I don't really like it when people post with "This was great" and don't really spark conversation, so I'm going to offer a little more.

This kind of reminded me of Edgar Allan Poe meets Shakespeare.  That's probably a little shallow to say, but it's what I felt while reading the whole thing.  That being said, like most people feel about Shakespearean works, it left me confused. I never had the chance to read Shakespeare, but they're classics, right?  I bet yours has every bit of promise.  XD

What is Steven?  Is he another bird?  Was it stated obviously and I missed it?  

I wouldn't mind reading more.  It's kind of fun to piece things together as you read, and I do love stuff that's pure play with words.

When did you write it?  Your vocabulary was impressive.
Vizzed Elite
Singelli


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 08-09-12
Location: Alabama
Last Post: 2548 days
Last Active: 2523 days

10-16-13 05:39 PM
Dragonlord Stephi is Offline
| ID: 907293 | 142 Words

Level: 51


POSTS: 209/605
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Singelli : Steven's title is the Black Bear. It doesn' t come up until later.

I felt the whole plot was cheesy. I'm thinking of rewriting it; it's mainly the three villains that lend the cheesiness to it, though I didn't like that particular part very much.

Shakespeare meets Edgar Allan Poe? Wow. I'm touched. That's... I'm truly honored. I love both of them. They're genuises. 

Thank you for the critique. It warms me up inside- especially the comment about Shakespeare and Poe. 

When did I write this? Umm... two years ago, I think. I've added to it a bit, and I have around 180-plus pages of this story,  but I feel like it got a little... dumb... after page 120. That's 60 pages I'm going to rewrite... someday. I plan to do it, but I have some other projects I'm working on.
Singelli : Steven's title is the Black Bear. It doesn' t come up until later.

I felt the whole plot was cheesy. I'm thinking of rewriting it; it's mainly the three villains that lend the cheesiness to it, though I didn't like that particular part very much.

Shakespeare meets Edgar Allan Poe? Wow. I'm touched. That's... I'm truly honored. I love both of them. They're genuises. 

Thank you for the critique. It warms me up inside- especially the comment about Shakespeare and Poe. 

When did I write this? Umm... two years ago, I think. I've added to it a bit, and I have around 180-plus pages of this story,  but I feel like it got a little... dumb... after page 120. That's 60 pages I'm going to rewrite... someday. I plan to do it, but I have some other projects I'm working on.
Vizzed Elite
Giving Ged and Eragon a Run For Their Money Since 1998


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-27-12
Location: Baltimore, MD
Last Post: 2274 days
Last Active: 4 days

10-16-13 05:52 PM
Singelli is Offline
| ID: 907299 | 38 Words

Singelli
Level: 161


POSTS: 5503/8698
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CP: 67335.2
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Dragonlord Stephi :  Oh, I did see the phrase that mentioned a bear, but I wasn't aware STEVEN was a bear. Sorry about that. XD

And 180 pages?!  OH MY GOODNESS.  I don't know how you do it... wow....
Dragonlord Stephi :  Oh, I did see the phrase that mentioned a bear, but I wasn't aware STEVEN was a bear. Sorry about that. XD

And 180 pages?!  OH MY GOODNESS.  I don't know how you do it... wow....
Vizzed Elite
Singelli


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 08-09-12
Location: Alabama
Last Post: 2548 days
Last Active: 2523 days

10-16-13 06:30 PM
Dragonlord Stephi is Offline
| ID: 907317 | 137 Words

Level: 51


POSTS: 210/605
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Singelli : I have too much free time on my hands.

Actually, writing is one of my major hobbies. If I had to describe everything I do in my life in a couple of words, it'd be: school, reading, writing, piano, some video games, Christianity. I think I'd DIE without being able to write. I've been doing it since first grade with those little picture-book stories kids like to make.

And they're not actually animals. They're people whose coat-of-arms are animals and are called that because of the way they ironically are almost exactly like the symbolism behind the coat-of-arms... it's explained a little after Saturn's meeting with him. Sorry if that didn't come off. You know, that actually brings about a good editing point. If it's ambiguous, I should really pay attention to that while editing.
Singelli : I have too much free time on my hands.

Actually, writing is one of my major hobbies. If I had to describe everything I do in my life in a couple of words, it'd be: school, reading, writing, piano, some video games, Christianity. I think I'd DIE without being able to write. I've been doing it since first grade with those little picture-book stories kids like to make.

And they're not actually animals. They're people whose coat-of-arms are animals and are called that because of the way they ironically are almost exactly like the symbolism behind the coat-of-arms... it's explained a little after Saturn's meeting with him. Sorry if that didn't come off. You know, that actually brings about a good editing point. If it's ambiguous, I should really pay attention to that while editing.
Vizzed Elite
Giving Ged and Eragon a Run For Their Money Since 1998


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-27-12
Location: Baltimore, MD
Last Post: 2274 days
Last Active: 4 days

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