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Cinderaldo
01-20-13 04:13 PM
ruesen is Offline
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As with my other play, this was a story I had to write for a scr If anyone enjoys this enough, I can give them a synopsis of the REAL, intended ending, but for now, enjoy how it was written first. Also please note, I do not condone the message at the end, as it was my sleep-deprived brain thinking it was funny. It sadly lowered my grade too, as the writing did not flow with how I wrote the beginning, and I have to agree with it. Cinderaldo Scene 1 opens in a bedroom. CINDERALDO, dressed in ripped, dirt-stained jeans with a ragged white shirt, is seen carrying various tools for dressmaking in a basket. With him are his two sisters, RILEY and REENA. The sisters are standing on two small stools in partially made dresses. RILEY is horridly skinny. Her dress seems to be shades of blue. REENA is heavy looking, but not obese. Her dress seems to be shades of red. RILEY Raldo! Work faster, I’m getting tired of standing! REENA Maybe if you actually digested something, you’d have the energy to stand! RILEY Oh, go choke on a muffin! I also have to pee, and Raldo is just taking forever! RALDO I’ll do my best to hurry, Riley! You’ll look absolutely stunning for the ball tomorrow! RALDO takes out some scissors and heads behind RILEY. Snipping noises are heard. RILEY I better! There are going to be a lot of girls there, and I want to stand out from everyone so the prince will notice me! REENA Our chances of even meeting him are so small, you really shouldn’t get your hopes up! RILEY No, your chances of meeting him are zilch! I at least have a chance since I’m not a fat baboon! REENA You’re living in a dream world… REENA turns her head away from her sister as if to show disgust, but a few tears are seen. RALDO takes notice. RALDO Now Reena, you are perfectly fine… RILEY More like perfectly fat! RALDO Riley, stop that! RILEY Just focus on making our dresses perfect! God, if mother gave you an order, you’d do it without saying a word! Just because she’s off doing that stupid time share thing doesn’t mean you can slack off! RALDO …Sorry, sister. RILEY Don’t call me that, you’re not my real brother! It’s “Riley” and nothing else! REENA (Under her breath) More like made of nothing else… RILEY What was that? REENA I was saying you are being silly. While mother may not have given birth to him, we still grew up together, he’s just like a brother! RILEY No, he’s pretty much a slave! Since mom found him on our doorstep, she’s had him cleaning and cooking for us! RALDO Ah, but Riley, a slave is usually there against their will, and I’m happy to help the people that rescued me from the streets! RILEY Whatever keeps you going… REENA Oh don’t listen to her, Raldo, you’ve been a dream since you’ve come along! RALDO Thank you, Reena, but I know how Riley is, and know deep down somewhere she cares. RILEY (laughing) You keep thinking that… REENA Oh please, you’d be lost without him constantly making you dresses and cleaning up after you! RILEY And you’d be hundreds of pounds lighter! REENA Not my fault I can actually enjoy a meal without having to throw it up! RILEY Hey, all this work will pay off when the prince chooses me to be by his side, which is something you have no chance of! REENA Oh please! I’m not going to the ball to chase some deluded dream that the prince is going to choose me! Unlike you, I’m being realistic. There will be plenty of wonderful other men there for me! RALDO I do wish I could come along… RILEY No way in hell you could! You haven’t got a suit! REENA Why do you want to come, Raldo? Trying to find a girl? RILEY (laughing) Raldo finding a girl? Ha! RALDO Well, not exactly… I just wish to go since I’ve never been to a ball! And who knows, maybe I could find someone who likes me… RILEY Girls want a man, Raldo, and you are far from being one… You would probably have better luck with men! RALDO (nervous )W-what? That’s absurd! RILEY Exactly! Now stop all this nonsense about going to the ball, and hurry with this dress! RALDO Right… sorry for bringing it up… REENA Oh don’t be! We all have dreams! Just unlike normal people, Riley lives in hers. RILEY (uncomfortably) And you’re… too big to be in… yours! REENA That doesn’t even make sense! RILEY Oh forget it, I need to go, now! RILEY jumps off the stool and starts to head off-stage. RALDO jumps back. RALDO But your dress! RILEY Listen, if I don’t go now, I’ll have a green dress instead of a blue one, so just… shut it! Exit RILEY. REENA That would have been amusing! RALDO That’d delay us even further… After this and the chores, I still need to apply make-up to the both of you. RALDO starts working on REENA’s dress. REENA You know you don’t have to do that for me. Unlike Riley, I know how to take care of myself, although I do appreciate you working on this dress for me! RALDO Oh it’s no trouble, and mother always insisted I do it for you… REENA Yes, well… she never had confidence in anything I do, but I’m more capable than she or Riley thinks… RALDO I believe you! You’ve always-…oh shoot! REENA What’s wrong? RALDO I cut off a bit too much… hang on! RALDO heads across the room to a closet full of supplies, then heads back to REENA. RALDO Good thing we have plenty of material! REENA Yeah, Reena always asks for too much… REENA’s eyes go wide. REENA Say… perhaps… You could make a suit! RALDO What? REENA Yeah, so you could go to the ball! We have so much extra material, you could easily make a suit from it, and even matching accessories! RALDO But the colors are rather odd for a suit… REENA Oh who cares, you just need something that looks at least presentable, not the hottest fashion! RALDO If you say so… Oh but I still have so many chores to do, and then you and Riley’s make up… REENA Leave that to me! After you finish our dresses, I’ll take care of the cooking and cleaning! RALDO (touched) You… you’d do that for me? REENA Raldo, you’ve always been there for me, it’s the least I could do! Besides, this is thee ball to go to! The prince is looking for a bride! There will be so many girls there, you’ll have your pick of the litter! RALDO (nervously) Uh heh… right. Well thank you very much! REENA And not a word to Riley! I don’t imagine she would approve! RALDO But- RILEY heads back onstage. RILEY All right, back to work! REENA motions a finger to her lips at RALDO’s direction. RALDO frowns, but nods. Curtain draws. End Scene 1. Scene 2 starts in a living room setting. REENA and RILEY are in beautiful ball gowns. REENA has beautiful red dress that compliments her heavy weight. RILEY’s blue dress makes her look not as skinny as she actually is. REENA Wow, Riley, that dress really helps you! You can hardly tell how dreadfully malnourished your really are! RILEY (sarcastically) Gee, thanks. I always wanted to feel as fat as you are! REENA (annoyed) Ok whatever, you think I’m fat, I think you’re bulimic, blah blah blah. How about we try not to fight tonight, huh? It’s a special occasion! RILEY Hmph. Guess you’re right… And I do need to focus on what I’m going to say to the prince when he asks me to dance! I was thinking of going with an indifferent tone to not sound desperate. You know, like, “Oh, you want to dance with me? Whatever.” What do you think? REENA I think you’re craz-… I mean… Maybe a simple ‘I would love to!’ would work. RILEY Simple is out, I need him to know who I am in one sentence! REENA (bitterly) I don’t think it’s possible to describe you in one sentence… RILEY (pleasantly surprised) Wow, well thank you! REENA That’s… not… (pause) I mean, of course! RILEY You know, you didn’t do such a bad job on my make-up either. REENA (shocked) T-Thank you! RILEY However, I still want Raldo to do some touching up. (calling out) Raldo! REENA Uh wait, I could do it! RILEY Don’t be silly, you’ve done enough! This is what he’s for! (loudly) Raldo, come here! RALDO’S VOICE (calling from a distance) I’ll be right there! RILEY Ugh, what could he be possibly doing? REENA (nervously) Uh… maybe he had to clean the… upstairs! RILEY No, he was probably taking a nap! Lazy oaf, I bet he didn’t even call the coach services. REENA Oh, I took care of that! They should be here soon! RILEY That’s even worse! Making you do more work… (Even louder) COME HERE RIGHT NOW, RALDO! RALDO enters wearing a blue and red suit. The color scheme matches, but is still peculiar. RILEY makes a horrified face. RILEY What the hell are you wearing? RALDO (Nervously) It’s uh… my suit… For the… ball…? REENA Well… Look at that! Looks like he can go to the ball with us! RILEY What?! He can’t come with us, he looks like a freak! REENA No he doesn’t! I mean, sure it’s a little different but it is a suit which is all he needs! RILEY A little different?! Guys wear black-and-white suits, not colored ones! And he doesn’t even have a tie! RALDO (nervously) N-no I do… RALDO reaches into his pocket revealing a tie that is red and blue striped. RILEY’s jaw drops. RILEY That doesn’t even match! There is no way I can be seen with him! REENA Riley, you’re being over dramatic! RILEY (angrily) You knew about this didn’t you? That’s why you did my makeup and called the coach… I bet you even helped him with the chores! REENA (getting annoyed) Why does any of that matter? The point is the coach will be here soon and all three of us are dressed for the ball, so why don’t we just go? RILEY He is not coming with us! If I’m seen with him, I’ll be ridiculed! If he wants to go to the ball, he can walk! REENA But he’d never get there in time! RALDO (pleading) Oh please, Riley! I could have the coach drop me off just a bit before the castle so we won’t have to be seen together! And I wouldn’t dare make any contact with you at the ball… RILEY just glares at RALDO. RALDO I’ll even walk home when the ball is done! REENA (worried) Raldo, if you do that, you wouldn’t be home till the crack of dawn! RALDO I’m willing to do it if it means I can come along. Please Riley! RILEY turns her head at REENA for a brief moment to give her a scowl, then turns back to RALDO. RILEY Hmph! Fine, but when I say out, you will get out! No matter the distance! RALDO Oh thank you so much, Riley, thank you!. RILEY Now redo my make-up! REENA messed it up! RILEY shoots REENA a smirk. REENA rolls her eyes, and turns away, but then smiles. Curtain draws. END SCENE 2. Scene 3 starts in the royal bedroom. PRINCE CARSON is sitting in front of a mirror with his assistant, LARS standing next to him. LARS (Slightly effeminate) Don’t worry, my dear prince! I will make you look extra handsome for the ball! CARSON Good, but make haste! Some of the guests have arrived already, and I don’t want to be late with my entrance! LARS What sort of aid would I be if I dawdled? I even found the perfect suit for you! CARSON Really? I thought a simple black and silver suit would suffice tonight. LARS Oh no, no, no , no! This is far too special of an occasion to wear your usual clothes! You want to wear something that calls attention to you so when you make your entrance, people can’t take your eyes off of you CARSON Hmm, I guess that makes sense. How about a preview?. LARS Certainly! LARS heads over to a closet and takes out a suit that has a silver-blue coat, a gold-red shirt, and a blue and red striped tie. The whole ensemble slightly resembles RALDO’s creation. He brings it over to CARSON. LARS How do you like it, sire? CARSON takes a look at it. His eyes go wide. CARSON I’m supposed to wear… that?! LARS (delicately) Is something wrong? CARSON It’s… an oddity! How am I supposed to look respectable in that? LARS Your majesty, I know it’s a bit different, but this is how trends start! People could call it, “The Carson!” CARSON I’m sorry but it’s too absurd. If I’m seen in that, the people will remember me as a fool! LARS But what will you wear, then? CARSON My traditional suit will suffice. Besides, this ball is about me finding a wife, not starting a trend. As long as I look respectable, that is fine with me. LARS Well, as you wish, my lord. I only wish to keep you looking well! CARSON Then help me get ready faster! I can’t wait to get going! LARS Yes, my liege! Curtain draws. END SCENE 3 Scene 4 starts at the ball. While there are some men present, there are even more women around. REENA and RILEY enter, with REENA looking annoyed and RILEY indifferent. REENA You didn’t have to shove Raldo out like that! It’s not like we were running late or anything… RILEY Hey, he agreed that when I said out, he would have to get out! REENA But you could have ruined his suit! What if a mud puddle was there? RILEY Not my concern! Besides, he wasn’t supposed to be coming, anyways. REENA Why do you have such a problem with him coming? It’s not like he is going to be hanging around you or something! RILEY It’s simply not his place to be! REENA That’s ridiculous! You’re making less sense than usual! RILEY (Annoyed) Listen, mom always kept him at home for a reason! What happens if some girl actually does fall for him? They’ll run off together and leave us without a servant! Think of how angry mom will be if she comes home and finds out she lost her cheapest source of labor! REENA To hell with mom! Raldo is a human being, not her nor your slave! He needs to find that special someone and get his own life! Besides, I thought you said the prince is going to choose you tonight! RILEY (Annoyed) He is! REENA Then why be concerned with what mom thinks if the prince is supposed to be taking you away RILEY Because I was planning on taking Raldo with me! He is really good with makeup and dresses… REENA (taken back) Wow… If I didn’t know better, I would say you do care about him to some degree… That would let him live a good life. RILEY Good thing you know better. Now stop talking to me, I can’t be seen with you. REENA Huh? RILEY Listen, sis, you’re fat, I’m not. If people see me next to you, it’ll give the illusion that I could be fat! They taught it at the finishing school mother sent me to last summer! Be around people the right people and you’ll look good! But be around the wrong type of people, and you’ll look bad, Simple! Now shoo! RILEY gives REENA a small shove away from her. Looking hurt, REENA walks away from RILEY and sits on the other side of the ballroom alone. RILEY wanders around the ballroom, making little conversations with the other guests. Every time she finishes speaking to one, they appear rather offended. REENA (sigh) Maybe I was fooling myself… Thinking I could find a guy that could possibly be attracted to me. REENA buries her face in her hands, sobbing. LARS walks on stage during this. He looks around the room. LARS (still effeminate) Hmm, looks like most of the guests are here. Almost time for Carson to make his entrance! LARS turns his head and noticed the sobbing REENA LARS Oh my! That won’t do! LARS walks over to LEENA. LARS My dear lady, today is a joyous occasion! What could have such a lovely looking woman like you so sad? REENA tries to wipe the tears from her face quickly. REENA (Taken back$) I… Oh nothing, sir. I just… LARS pulls out a handkerchief and hands it to REENA. REENA Oh! Thank you, sir.… LARS Please, call me Lars! And it’s nothing, Miss…? REENA Reena. LARS Ah, of course! A perfect name for you! Now what has you so troubled, Miss Reena? Not happy with the music? REENA Oh no, the ballroom is beautiful. I just… I feel a bit out of place. LARS Yes, I can see how one could be overwhelmed with the festivities… or even with the other guests! A little trick I always do to calm my nerves is to look for someone worse off than myself! REENA (surprised) Wait… what? LARS Oh, I don’t mean that maliciously of course! I do not think I am better than anyone in general, but when I feel self conscious, I look for someone that I could pity! It works for those times when I’m down in the doldrums! After I get my confidence back, I feel normal once again. REENA Well… I guess that makes sense. LARS Yes, why don’t you try? Oh look over there! LARS points to a woman with long blonde hair worn up who just entered. She wears a dark green dress with light green sleeves. LARS Sort of reminds you of a corn stalk, no? REENA laughs. LARS Not that she isn’t pretty, but it’s just something you notice. Feeling better now? REENA (still laughing a little) Yes, actually. Thank you, Lars! LARS My pleasure! RALDO enters. His pants are covered in dirt. REENA takes immediate notice. REENA (gasp) Oh no! Raldo! LARS Hmm? REENA cuts across the ballroom straight to RALDO, with LARS following behind. REENA What happened? Is it because Riley pushed you out? REENA begins trying to pat the dirt out. RALDO (sadly) Unfortunately, yes. She sent me stumbling and I fell… Luckily I caught myself, but my pants are still ruined… LARS Oh my! LARS starts to help pat the dirt out from RALDO’s pants. RALDO Thank you sir, but I don’t think it’ll help… I probably should go home… LARS stops, his eyes widen. LARS Whoa, what a suit… RALDO Yes, I know it’s an eyesore… I had to make it out of scraps though. LARS This isn’t an eyesore, it’s rather fetching! If only it weren’t covered in dirt, it would look magnificent! RALDO Really? You don’t think the colors look awful together? LARS Not at all! You know, I was just telling the prince he should try wearing something as striking as this but he refused… REENA (shocked) Wait… you know the prince? RALDO gasps. LARS Yes, I’m his personal assistant… Oh shoot! I need to get going, I have to announce him in! LARS starts to leave, but stops, and turns back to RALDO and REENA. LARS Wait, I have an idea. There is a spare suit here that the prince decided not to wear. I think it might be your size… Why not try it on? RALDO What, really? LARS Yes, but you need to hurry and follow me. I’ll show you where it is, but then I need to get back to work! REENA Let me come too, I’ll help him get ready! RALDO Thank you… so much! LARS Thank me later, now come on and hurry! The three leave the stage. During all this, RILEY has managed to talk to everyone in the ballroom and now they all shoot her angry glares every now and then. RILEY seems unaffected. She walks over to where REENA was sitting and takes a seat. RILEY Well, that was fun! RILEY looks around the room. RILEY Hmm, where did Reena head off to? Some of these guys might actually be desperate enough to get with her! LARS returns to the ballroom with a trumpeter. A fanfare is played, silencing all the other guests. LARS Ladies and gentlemen… Prince Carson! The fanfare is played once again. During it, CARSON enters. The guests begin to clap and cheer. RILEY stands up quickly and tries to get closer. RILEY Out of my way, the prince’s chosen one is here! RILEY is blocked by two large women. RILEY Hey fatties, save yourself the heartache and git! The two women turn back and look menacingly at her. RILEY (Losing her courage) Hey, come on now… …move… please… One of the simply pushes her down then turns her attention back to CARSON, who starts to make a speech. CARSON Thank you all for coming! As you all may know, I’m searching for a bride. I will need to ask the women to please line up in front of Lars, here, and come to me when it is your turn. This way, I can get to know each and every one of you, individually. LARS steps forward to indicate where to line up. The women scramble to get in line. RILEY manages to get into the middle of the line. The prince then begins motioning one woman at a time to come up and introduce themselves. This occurs silently as RALDO and REENA reenter from the other side of the room. RALDO Wow, this looks pretty close to what I made, except a lot more stunning! REENA I ‘ll say! Oh! Your tie is a little crooked. REENA begins to fix RALDO’s tie. RALDO looks around the room and notices CARSON and the line. RALDO (in awe) Is that… the prince? REENA What’s that? REENA turns around. REENA Oh, so it is! RALDO (still in awe) I didn’t realize he was so dreamy… REENA Yeah, I guess he is… Wait… What did you say? RALDO (stammering) Er… I-I-I, uhm… What I-I meant.. REENA (worried) Raldo… what are you saying? RALDO (getting upset) I… just… think he looks handsome, that’s all! REENA (seriously) Raldo… do you… have a crush on the prince? RALDO (child-like) Uh… maybe…? REENA (incredulously) Raldo! You’re a boy! You’re supposed to like girls! And besides that… You just met him! How the hell can you develop a crush that fast? RALDO I… don’t know. I never really had an interest in any girls… REENA Maybe because the only girls you were around was Riley, mother, and I! You haven’t met any other girls! RALDO Well… Maybe that is why! REENA (annoyed) Raldo, you do realize this is rather sudden, right? REENA turns to the audience as she says the following. I mean, from the start of your journey here, you have left absolutely no real clue that you came here for the desire of meeting a guy. It’s like a real bad plot twist! RALDO (annoyed) Hey I can’t explain it, okay? All I know is I want a chance to talk to him! REENA All right, all right. Let’s get on line with the rest of the women. RALDO and REENA head over to the line. By now, it is RILEY’s turn with the prince. CARSON And what is your name, miss? RILEY (eagerly) My name is Riley, but you can call me your bride! CARSON (laughs nervously) Ah, haha, we’ll see… uh so, what can you tell me about yourself, Riley? RILEY (eagerly) Well I like you… (indifferent) I mean, I guess I like you. I’m a girl who knows what she wants… maybe we can have a dance, I don’t care. CARSON (confused) Uhm… okay? Any… hobbies? RILEY (bragging) I know how to keep my figure, I can stay in this shape without a problem, unlike most women. CARSON (puzzled) Uhm, all right… Anything else? RILEY (slightly annoyed) Uh… what else is there to know? I’m hot, you’re hot, let’s get hot together! CARSON (annoyed) Uh, no. Next! RILEY What?!
CARSON I said next! RILEY (pissed) No, no, no! That’s not how this is gonna work. See, you are supposed to choose me, then we get married and I live in the castle and never have to see my wicked mother ever again! CARSON You’ve been reading too many fairy tales. Guards, please usher this young lady along. Two knights enter the stage and head over to RILEY. RILEY (Crazed) No! No! This isn’t how it’s supposed to happen! We need to be together! RILEY is escorted off the stage kicking and screaming. The line continues. RALDO (in shock) Was that… Riley? REENA Eh… if you really think about it… is it that surprising? RALDO Hmm, I guess not. REENA So how are you going to approach the prince? I mean… it might just embarrass him… RALDO I’ll just speak my heart. REENA (annoyed) Stop being cheesy! RALDO I’m not trying to be, my mind just can’t come up with anything else! REENA I’m sorry, Raldo… It’s just all of this sounds like a really corny play… Like the writer of it just got tired of dancing around what makes sense, and just made things happen out of nowhere. RALDO Well, we’re not in a play, we’re in real life. CARSON is heard yelling, “Next.” Another woman goes up to the prince. RALDO and REENA move up a spot and notice they are next. REENA Wow, that went fast for being in the back of the line. RALDO I suppose us talking made things move faster… REENA Or maybe a writer got lazy… RALDO We’re not in a play! Stop saying that! LARS notices the two. LARS Hello, Miss Reena. Uh… Raldo, was it? I’m afraid this is for women only… REENA Sorry Lars, he suddenly decided he is in love with the prince. LARS Uhm… okay… RALDO Look, just please let me try to explain myself to the prince. I just got to tell him! LARS If you feel so inclined, then go ahead… but be wary of the consequences. He might just throw you in jail for disrupting this occasion. REENA You know, I just noticed. For a ball, there wasn’t a lot of dancing… RALDO Can we keep focus? CARSON Next! RALDO Wish me luck… Here I go. RALDO steps forward. REENA You know, at first I enjoyed all this, and was glad to finally be getting close with my adopted brother, but now I find all of this getting silly. LARS Well, this looks like a good tension-filled moment, can’t hurt to just take a listen, eh?
CARSON looks at who’s up. CARSON Hello, my good sir. Perhaps you didn’t hear me before. This line is for ladies only. RALDO Yes, I know your majesty… But I must have a word with you. I… I was 7 years old when I was first found by a woman who took me in. She put me to work, and for the next 11 years I was basically a butler. Only today was I able to get out of the house and actually meet some people other than my sisters, the delivery man, and my adoptive mother. And when you first came out here, I found myself touched in a way I never felt before. I know this seems rather odd and silly, but… I have come up here in hopes of perhaps a dance with you. I know it is taboo in our society, men are not supposed to form a love relationship, but if I learned anything in my life, you must speak your heart! So please, your majesty, would you fulfill this guy’s wish? The guests all look in awe. Some are even crying. CARSON (sincerely) My good man… That was probably the most heartfelt thing I heard all day. Although all of the women today were indeed charming… except for that crazy one… All were here just to marry a prince, not a person. I’m truly flattered by your words… RALDO Wow, really? So would you consider maybe a dance? CARSON Heck no, I like girls. Guard, throw this man in jail for disrupting the ball! RALDO (Utter shock) What?! Are you kidding me? CARSON Nope. Sorry, sir, but there is no such thing as gay people in fairy tales. Guys can be effeminate like Lars, and women can be strong, butch figures, but none can have an open gay relationship. Have fun in prison! Curtain is drawn, END. If anyone enjoys this enough, I can give them a synopsis of the REAL, intended ending, but for now, enjoy how it was written first. Also please note, I do not condone the message at the end, as it was my sleep-deprived brain thinking it was funny. It sadly lowered my grade too, as the writing did not flow with how I wrote the beginning, and I have to agree with it. Cinderaldo Scene 1 opens in a bedroom. CINDERALDO, dressed in ripped, dirt-stained jeans with a ragged white shirt, is seen carrying various tools for dressmaking in a basket. With him are his two sisters, RILEY and REENA. The sisters are standing on two small stools in partially made dresses. RILEY is horridly skinny. Her dress seems to be shades of blue. REENA is heavy looking, but not obese. Her dress seems to be shades of red. RILEY Raldo! Work faster, I’m getting tired of standing! REENA Maybe if you actually digested something, you’d have the energy to stand! RILEY Oh, go choke on a muffin! I also have to pee, and Raldo is just taking forever! RALDO I’ll do my best to hurry, Riley! You’ll look absolutely stunning for the ball tomorrow! RALDO takes out some scissors and heads behind RILEY. Snipping noises are heard. RILEY I better! There are going to be a lot of girls there, and I want to stand out from everyone so the prince will notice me! REENA Our chances of even meeting him are so small, you really shouldn’t get your hopes up! RILEY No, your chances of meeting him are zilch! I at least have a chance since I’m not a fat baboon! REENA You’re living in a dream world… REENA turns her head away from her sister as if to show disgust, but a few tears are seen. RALDO takes notice. RALDO Now Reena, you are perfectly fine… RILEY More like perfectly fat! RALDO Riley, stop that! RILEY Just focus on making our dresses perfect! God, if mother gave you an order, you’d do it without saying a word! Just because she’s off doing that stupid time share thing doesn’t mean you can slack off! RALDO …Sorry, sister. RILEY Don’t call me that, you’re not my real brother! It’s “Riley” and nothing else! REENA (Under her breath) More like made of nothing else… RILEY What was that? REENA I was saying you are being silly. While mother may not have given birth to him, we still grew up together, he’s just like a brother! RILEY No, he’s pretty much a slave! Since mom found him on our doorstep, she’s had him cleaning and cooking for us! RALDO Ah, but Riley, a slave is usually there against their will, and I’m happy to help the people that rescued me from the streets! RILEY Whatever keeps you going… REENA Oh don’t listen to her, Raldo, you’ve been a dream since you’ve come along! RALDO Thank you, Reena, but I know how Riley is, and know deep down somewhere she cares. RILEY (laughing) You keep thinking that… REENA Oh please, you’d be lost without him constantly making you dresses and cleaning up after you! RILEY And you’d be hundreds of pounds lighter! REENA Not my fault I can actually enjoy a meal without having to throw it up! RILEY Hey, all this work will pay off when the prince chooses me to be by his side, which is something you have no chance of! REENA Oh please! I’m not going to the ball to chase some deluded dream that the prince is going to choose me! Unlike you, I’m being realistic. There will be plenty of wonderful other men there for me! RALDO I do wish I could come along… RILEY No way in hell you could! You haven’t got a suit! REENA Why do you want to come, Raldo? Trying to find a girl? RILEY (laughing) Raldo finding a girl? Ha! RALDO Well, not exactly… I just wish to go since I’ve never been to a ball! And who knows, maybe I could find someone who likes me… RILEY Girls want a man, Raldo, and you are far from being one… You would probably have better luck with men! RALDO (nervous )W-what? That’s absurd! RILEY Exactly! Now stop all this nonsense about going to the ball, and hurry with this dress! RALDO Right… sorry for bringing it up… REENA Oh don’t be! We all have dreams! Just unlike normal people, Riley lives in hers. RILEY (uncomfortably) And you’re… too big to be in… yours! REENA That doesn’t even make sense! RILEY Oh forget it, I need to go, now! RILEY jumps off the stool and starts to head off-stage. RALDO jumps back. RALDO But your dress! RILEY Listen, if I don’t go now, I’ll have a green dress instead of a blue one, so just… shut it! Exit RILEY. REENA That would have been amusing! RALDO That’d delay us even further… After this and the chores, I still need to apply make-up to the both of you. RALDO starts working on REENA’s dress. REENA You know you don’t have to do that for me. Unlike Riley, I know how to take care of myself, although I do appreciate you working on this dress for me! RALDO Oh it’s no trouble, and mother always insisted I do it for you… REENA Yes, well… she never had confidence in anything I do, but I’m more capable than she or Riley thinks… RALDO I believe you! You’ve always-…oh shoot! REENA What’s wrong? RALDO I cut off a bit too much… hang on! RALDO heads across the room to a closet full of supplies, then heads back to REENA. RALDO Good thing we have plenty of material! REENA Yeah, Reena always asks for too much… REENA’s eyes go wide. REENA Say… perhaps… You could make a suit! RALDO What? REENA Yeah, so you could go to the ball! We have so much extra material, you could easily make a suit from it, and even matching accessories! RALDO But the colors are rather odd for a suit… REENA Oh who cares, you just need something that looks at least presentable, not the hottest fashion! RALDO If you say so… Oh but I still have so many chores to do, and then you and Riley’s make up… REENA Leave that to me! After you finish our dresses, I’ll take care of the cooking and cleaning! RALDO (touched) You… you’d do that for me? REENA Raldo, you’ve always been there for me, it’s the least I could do! Besides, this is thee ball to go to! The prince is looking for a bride! There will be so many girls there, you’ll have your pick of the litter! RALDO (nervously) Uh heh… right. Well thank you very much! REENA And not a word to Riley! I don’t imagine she would approve! RALDO But- RILEY heads back onstage. RILEY All right, back to work! REENA motions a finger to her lips at RALDO’s direction. RALDO frowns, but nods. Curtain draws. End Scene 1. Scene 2 starts in a living room setting. REENA and RILEY are in beautiful ball gowns. REENA has beautiful red dress that compliments her heavy weight. RILEY’s blue dress makes her look not as skinny as she actually is. REENA Wow, Riley, that dress really helps you! You can hardly tell how dreadfully malnourished your really are! RILEY (sarcastically) Gee, thanks. I always wanted to feel as fat as you are! REENA (annoyed) Ok whatever, you think I’m fat, I think you’re bulimic, blah blah blah. How about we try not to fight tonight, huh? It’s a special occasion! RILEY Hmph. Guess you’re right… And I do need to focus on what I’m going to say to the prince when he asks me to dance! I was thinking of going with an indifferent tone to not sound desperate. You know, like, “Oh, you want to dance with me? Whatever.” What do you think? REENA I think you’re craz-… I mean… Maybe a simple ‘I would love to!’ would work. RILEY Simple is out, I need him to know who I am in one sentence! REENA (bitterly) I don’t think it’s possible to describe you in one sentence… RILEY (pleasantly surprised) Wow, well thank you! REENA That’s… not… (pause) I mean, of course! RILEY You know, you didn’t do such a bad job on my make-up either. REENA (shocked) T-Thank you! RILEY However, I still want Raldo to do some touching up. (calling out) Raldo! REENA Uh wait, I could do it! RILEY Don’t be silly, you’ve done enough! This is what he’s for! (loudly) Raldo, come here! RALDO’S VOICE (calling from a distance) I’ll be right there! RILEY Ugh, what could he be possibly doing? REENA (nervously) Uh… maybe he had to clean the… upstairs! RILEY No, he was probably taking a nap! Lazy oaf, I bet he didn’t even call the coach services. REENA Oh, I took care of that! They should be here soon! RILEY That’s even worse! Making you do more work… (Even louder) COME HERE RIGHT NOW, RALDO! RALDO enters wearing a blue and red suit. The color scheme matches, but is still peculiar. RILEY makes a horrified face. RILEY What the hell are you wearing? RALDO (Nervously) It’s uh… my suit… For the… ball…? REENA Well… Look at that! Looks like he can go to the ball with us! RILEY What?! He can’t come with us, he looks like a freak! REENA No he doesn’t! I mean, sure it’s a little different but it is a suit which is all he needs! RILEY A little different?! Guys wear black-and-white suits, not colored ones! And he doesn’t even have a tie! RALDO (nervously) N-no I do… RALDO reaches into his pocket revealing a tie that is red and blue striped. RILEY’s jaw drops. RILEY That doesn’t even match! There is no way I can be seen with him! REENA Riley, you’re being over dramatic! RILEY (angrily) You knew about this didn’t you? That’s why you did my makeup and called the coach… I bet you even helped him with the chores! REENA (getting annoyed) Why does any of that matter? The point is the coach will be here soon and all three of us are dressed for the ball, so why don’t we just go? RILEY He is not coming with us! If I’m seen with him, I’ll be ridiculed! If he wants to go to the ball, he can walk! REENA But he’d never get there in time! RALDO (pleading) Oh please, Riley! I could have the coach drop me off just a bit before the castle so we won’t have to be seen together! And I wouldn’t dare make any contact with you at the ball… RILEY just glares at RALDO. RALDO I’ll even walk home when the ball is done! REENA (worried) Raldo, if you do that, you wouldn’t be home till the crack of dawn! RALDO I’m willing to do it if it means I can come along. Please Riley! RILEY turns her head at REENA for a brief moment to give her a scowl, then turns back to RALDO. RILEY Hmph! Fine, but when I say out, you will get out! No matter the distance! RALDO Oh thank you so much, Riley, thank you!. RILEY Now redo my make-up! REENA messed it up! RILEY shoots REENA a smirk. REENA rolls her eyes, and turns away, but then smiles. Curtain draws. END SCENE 2. Scene 3 starts in the royal bedroom. PRINCE CARSON is sitting in front of a mirror with his assistant, LARS standing next to him. LARS (Slightly effeminate) Don’t worry, my dear prince! I will make you look extra handsome for the ball! CARSON Good, but make haste! Some of the guests have arrived already, and I don’t want to be late with my entrance! LARS What sort of aid would I be if I dawdled? I even found the perfect suit for you! CARSON Really? I thought a simple black and silver suit would suffice tonight. LARS Oh no, no, no , no! This is far too special of an occasion to wear your usual clothes! You want to wear something that calls attention to you so when you make your entrance, people can’t take your eyes off of you CARSON Hmm, I guess that makes sense. How about a preview?. LARS Certainly! LARS heads over to a closet and takes out a suit that has a silver-blue coat, a gold-red shirt, and a blue and red striped tie. The whole ensemble slightly resembles RALDO’s creation. He brings it over to CARSON. LARS How do you like it, sire? CARSON takes a look at it. His eyes go wide. CARSON I’m supposed to wear… that?! LARS (delicately) Is something wrong? CARSON It’s… an oddity! How am I supposed to look respectable in that? LARS Your majesty, I know it’s a bit different, but this is how trends start! People could call it, “The Carson!” CARSON I’m sorry but it’s too absurd. If I’m seen in that, the people will remember me as a fool! LARS But what will you wear, then? CARSON My traditional suit will suffice. Besides, this ball is about me finding a wife, not starting a trend. As long as I look respectable, that is fine with me. LARS Well, as you wish, my lord. I only wish to keep you looking well! CARSON Then help me get ready faster! I can’t wait to get going! LARS Yes, my liege! Curtain draws. END SCENE 3 Scene 4 starts at the ball. While there are some men present, there are even more women around. REENA and RILEY enter, with REENA looking annoyed and RILEY indifferent. REENA You didn’t have to shove Raldo out like that! It’s not like we were running late or anything… RILEY Hey, he agreed that when I said out, he would have to get out! REENA But you could have ruined his suit! What if a mud puddle was there? RILEY Not my concern! Besides, he wasn’t supposed to be coming, anyways. REENA Why do you have such a problem with him coming? It’s not like he is going to be hanging around you or something! RILEY It’s simply not his place to be! REENA That’s ridiculous! You’re making less sense than usual! RILEY (Annoyed) Listen, mom always kept him at home for a reason! What happens if some girl actually does fall for him? They’ll run off together and leave us without a servant! Think of how angry mom will be if she comes home and finds out she lost her cheapest source of labor! REENA To hell with mom! Raldo is a human being, not her nor your slave! He needs to find that special someone and get his own life! Besides, I thought you said the prince is going to choose you tonight! RILEY (Annoyed) He is! REENA Then why be concerned with what mom thinks if the prince is supposed to be taking you away RILEY Because I was planning on taking Raldo with me! He is really good with makeup and dresses… REENA (taken back) Wow… If I didn’t know better, I would say you do care about him to some degree… That would let him live a good life. RILEY Good thing you know better. Now stop talking to me, I can’t be seen with you. REENA Huh? RILEY Listen, sis, you’re fat, I’m not. If people see me next to you, it’ll give the illusion that I could be fat! They taught it at the finishing school mother sent me to last summer! Be around people the right people and you’ll look good! But be around the wrong type of people, and you’ll look bad, Simple! Now shoo! RILEY gives REENA a small shove away from her. Looking hurt, REENA walks away from RILEY and sits on the other side of the ballroom alone. RILEY wanders around the ballroom, making little conversations with the other guests. Every time she finishes speaking to one, they appear rather offended. REENA (sigh) Maybe I was fooling myself… Thinking I could find a guy that could possibly be attracted to me. REENA buries her face in her hands, sobbing. LARS walks on stage during this. He looks around the room. LARS (still effeminate) Hmm, looks like most of the guests are here. Almost time for Carson to make his entrance! LARS turns his head and noticed the sobbing REENA LARS Oh my! That won’t do! LARS walks over to LEENA. LARS My dear lady, today is a joyous occasion! What could have such a lovely looking woman like you so sad? REENA tries to wipe the tears from her face quickly. REENA (Taken back$) I… Oh nothing, sir. I just… LARS pulls out a handkerchief and hands it to REENA. REENA Oh! Thank you, sir.… LARS Please, call me Lars! And it’s nothing, Miss…? REENA Reena. LARS Ah, of course! A perfect name for you! Now what has you so troubled, Miss Reena? Not happy with the music? REENA Oh no, the ballroom is beautiful. I just… I feel a bit out of place. LARS Yes, I can see how one could be overwhelmed with the festivities… or even with the other guests! A little trick I always do to calm my nerves is to look for someone worse off than myself! REENA (surprised) Wait… what? LARS Oh, I don’t mean that maliciously of course! I do not think I am better than anyone in general, but when I feel self conscious, I look for someone that I could pity! It works for those times when I’m down in the doldrums! After I get my confidence back, I feel normal once again. REENA Well… I guess that makes sense. LARS Yes, why don’t you try? Oh look over there! LARS points to a woman with long blonde hair worn up who just entered. She wears a dark green dress with light green sleeves. LARS Sort of reminds you of a corn stalk, no? REENA laughs. LARS Not that she isn’t pretty, but it’s just something you notice. Feeling better now? REENA (still laughing a little) Yes, actually. Thank you, Lars! LARS My pleasure! RALDO enters. His pants are covered in dirt. REENA takes immediate notice. REENA (gasp) Oh no! Raldo! LARS Hmm? REENA cuts across the ballroom straight to RALDO, with LARS following behind. REENA What happened? Is it because Riley pushed you out? REENA begins trying to pat the dirt out. RALDO (sadly) Unfortunately, yes. She sent me stumbling and I fell… Luckily I caught myself, but my pants are still ruined… LARS Oh my! LARS starts to help pat the dirt out from RALDO’s pants. RALDO Thank you sir, but I don’t think it’ll help… I probably should go home… LARS stops, his eyes widen. LARS Whoa, what a suit… RALDO Yes, I know it’s an eyesore… I had to make it out of scraps though. LARS This isn’t an eyesore, it’s rather fetching! If only it weren’t covered in dirt, it would look magnificent! RALDO Really? You don’t think the colors look awful together? LARS Not at all! You know, I was just telling the prince he should try wearing something as striking as this but he refused… REENA (shocked) Wait… you know the prince? RALDO gasps. LARS Yes, I’m his personal assistant… Oh shoot! I need to get going, I have to announce him in! LARS starts to leave, but stops, and turns back to RALDO and REENA. LARS Wait, I have an idea. There is a spare suit here that the prince decided not to wear. I think it might be your size… Why not try it on? RALDO What, really? LARS Yes, but you need to hurry and follow me. I’ll show you where it is, but then I need to get back to work! REENA Let me come too, I’ll help him get ready! RALDO Thank you… so much! LARS Thank me later, now come on and hurry! The three leave the stage. During all this, RILEY has managed to talk to everyone in the ballroom and now they all shoot her angry glares every now and then. RILEY seems unaffected. She walks over to where REENA was sitting and takes a seat. RILEY Well, that was fun! RILEY looks around the room. RILEY Hmm, where did Reena head off to? Some of these guys might actually be desperate enough to get with her! LARS returns to the ballroom with a trumpeter. A fanfare is played, silencing all the other guests. LARS Ladies and gentlemen… Prince Carson! The fanfare is played once again. During it, CARSON enters. The guests begin to clap and cheer. RILEY stands up quickly and tries to get closer. RILEY Out of my way, the prince’s chosen one is here! RILEY is blocked by two large women. RILEY Hey fatties, save yourself the heartache and git! The two women turn back and look menacingly at her. RILEY (Losing her courage) Hey, come on now… …move… please… One of the simply pushes her down then turns her attention back to CARSON, who starts to make a speech. CARSON Thank you all for coming! As you all may know, I’m searching for a bride. I will need to ask the women to please line up in front of Lars, here, and come to me when it is your turn. This way, I can get to know each and every one of you, individually. LARS steps forward to indicate where to line up. The women scramble to get in line. RILEY manages to get into the middle of the line. The prince then begins motioning one woman at a time to come up and introduce themselves. This occurs silently as RALDO and REENA reenter from the other side of the room. RALDO Wow, this looks pretty close to what I made, except a lot more stunning! REENA I ‘ll say! Oh! Your tie is a little crooked. REENA begins to fix RALDO’s tie. RALDO looks around the room and notices CARSON and the line. RALDO (in awe) Is that… the prince? REENA What’s that? REENA turns around. REENA Oh, so it is! RALDO (still in awe) I didn’t realize he was so dreamy… REENA Yeah, I guess he is… Wait… What did you say? RALDO (stammering) Er… I-I-I, uhm… What I-I meant.. REENA (worried) Raldo… what are you saying? RALDO (getting upset) I… just… think he looks handsome, that’s all! REENA (seriously) Raldo… do you… have a crush on the prince? RALDO (child-like) Uh… maybe…? REENA (incredulously) Raldo! You’re a boy! You’re supposed to like girls! And besides that… You just met him! How the hell can you develop a crush that fast? RALDO I… don’t know. I never really had an interest in any girls… REENA Maybe because the only girls you were around was Riley, mother, and I! You haven’t met any other girls! RALDO Well… Maybe that is why! REENA (annoyed) Raldo, you do realize this is rather sudden, right? REENA turns to the audience as she says the following. I mean, from the start of your journey here, you have left absolutely no real clue that you came here for the desire of meeting a guy. It’s like a real bad plot twist! RALDO (annoyed) Hey I can’t explain it, okay? All I know is I want a chance to talk to him! REENA All right, all right. Let’s get on line with the rest of the women. RALDO and REENA head over to the line. By now, it is RILEY’s turn with the prince. CARSON And what is your name, miss? RILEY (eagerly) My name is Riley, but you can call me your bride! CARSON (laughs nervously) Ah, haha, we’ll see… uh so, what can you tell me about yourself, Riley? RILEY (eagerly) Well I like you… (indifferent) I mean, I guess I like you. I’m a girl who knows what she wants… maybe we can have a dance, I don’t care. CARSON (confused) Uhm… okay? Any… hobbies? RILEY (bragging) I know how to keep my figure, I can stay in this shape without a problem, unlike most women. CARSON (puzzled) Uhm, all right… Anything else? RILEY (slightly annoyed) Uh… what else is there to know? I’m hot, you’re hot, let’s get hot together! CARSON (annoyed) Uh, no. Next! RILEY What?!
CARSON I said next! RILEY (pissed) No, no, no! That’s not how this is gonna work. See, you are supposed to choose me, then we get married and I live in the castle and never have to see my wicked mother ever again! CARSON You’ve been reading too many fairy tales. Guards, please usher this young lady along. Two knights enter the stage and head over to RILEY. RILEY (Crazed) No! No! This isn’t how it’s supposed to happen! We need to be together! RILEY is escorted off the stage kicking and screaming. The line continues. RALDO (in shock) Was that… Riley? REENA Eh… if you really think about it… is it that surprising? RALDO Hmm, I guess not. REENA So how are you going to approach the prince? I mean… it might just embarrass him… RALDO I’ll just speak my heart. REENA (annoyed) Stop being cheesy! RALDO I’m not trying to be, my mind just can’t come up with anything else! REENA I’m sorry, Raldo… It’s just all of this sounds like a really corny play… Like the writer of it just got tired of dancing around what makes sense, and just made things happen out of nowhere. RALDO Well, we’re not in a play, we’re in real life. CARSON is heard yelling, “Next.” Another woman goes up to the prince. RALDO and REENA move up a spot and notice they are next. REENA Wow, that went fast for being in the back of the line. RALDO I suppose us talking made things move faster… REENA Or maybe a writer got lazy… RALDO We’re not in a play! Stop saying that! LARS notices the two. LARS Hello, Miss Reena. Uh… Raldo, was it? I’m afraid this is for women only… REENA Sorry Lars, he suddenly decided he is in love with the prince. LARS Uhm… okay… RALDO Look, just please let me try to explain myself to the prince. I just got to tell him! LARS If you feel so inclined, then go ahead… but be wary of the consequences. He might just throw you in jail for disrupting this occasion. REENA You know, I just noticed. For a ball, there wasn’t a lot of dancing… RALDO Can we keep focus? CARSON Next! RALDO Wish me luck… Here I go. RALDO steps forward. REENA You know, at first I enjoyed all this, and was glad to finally be getting close with my adopted brother, but now I find all of this getting silly. LARS Well, this looks like a good tension-filled moment, can’t hurt to just take a listen, eh?
CARSON looks at who’s up. CARSON Hello, my good sir. Perhaps you didn’t hear me before. This line is for ladies only. RALDO Yes, I know your majesty… But I must have a word with you. I… I was 7 years old when I was first found by a woman who took me in. She put me to work, and for the next 11 years I was basically a butler. Only today was I able to get out of the house and actually meet some people other than my sisters, the delivery man, and my adoptive mother. And when you first came out here, I found myself touched in a way I never felt before. I know this seems rather odd and silly, but… I have come up here in hopes of perhaps a dance with you. I know it is taboo in our society, men are not supposed to form a love relationship, but if I learned anything in my life, you must speak your heart! So please, your majesty, would you fulfill this guy’s wish? The guests all look in awe. Some are even crying. CARSON (sincerely) My good man… That was probably the most heartfelt thing I heard all day. Although all of the women today were indeed charming… except for that crazy one… All were here just to marry a prince, not a person. I’m truly flattered by your words… RALDO Wow, really? So would you consider maybe a dance? CARSON Heck no, I like girls. Guard, throw this man in jail for disrupting the ball! RALDO (Utter shock) What?! Are you kidding me? CARSON Nope. Sorry, sir, but there is no such thing as gay people in fairy tales. Guys can be effeminate like Lars, and women can be strong, butch figures, but none can have an open gay relationship. Have fun in prison! Curtain is drawn, END. |
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Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'
Registered: 10-10-12
Location: USA
Last Post: 3564 days
Last Active: 31 days
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