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poem of poetry
i have just noticed my love for poetry
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haitamchouiekh
11-24-12 09:30 AM
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haitamchouiekh
11-25-12 04:51 AM
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poem of poetry

 

11-24-12 09:30 AM
haitamchouiekh is Offline
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| ID: 692643 | 199 Words

haitamchouiekh
Level: 62


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   so just a few days ago I noticed my love for poetry. So now I have made this thread to present all of my poems. Please comment, and I hope you like them. And if you want me to make a poem about a certain thing you want then it would love to.

trapped for life 
I am trapped for life
I don't know where 
I feel really blind
I don't what is here or there
there is no way out 
I am half curios and half scared
then I try to shout 
but all I hear is the wind
then I heard a bird tweet
I wanted to get out of this
so I go to on my feet
then I hear more noises
light is what I really need
I begin feel some water under my feet
then my foot gets strangled between the seaweed
I take a fall 
then my eyes get filled with water 
and they start to burn 
my eyes fell like hot sauce or maybe hotter
then the pain goes away all of the sudden
I open my eyes then I see light
I don't know what happened
but at least I got back my sight
written by Haitamchouiekh.




please do comment. I would appreciate feedback.
Thank you 
   so just a few days ago I noticed my love for poetry. So now I have made this thread to present all of my poems. Please comment, and I hope you like them. And if you want me to make a poem about a certain thing you want then it would love to.

trapped for life 
I am trapped for life
I don't know where 
I feel really blind
I don't what is here or there
there is no way out 
I am half curios and half scared
then I try to shout 
but all I hear is the wind
then I heard a bird tweet
I wanted to get out of this
so I go to on my feet
then I hear more noises
light is what I really need
I begin feel some water under my feet
then my foot gets strangled between the seaweed
I take a fall 
then my eyes get filled with water 
and they start to burn 
my eyes fell like hot sauce or maybe hotter
then the pain goes away all of the sudden
I open my eyes then I see light
I don't know what happened
but at least I got back my sight
written by Haitamchouiekh.




please do comment. I would appreciate feedback.
Thank you 
Trusted Member
Call me Haitam


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 06-02-12
Last Post: 2092 days
Last Active: 1153 days

(edited by haitamchouiekh on 11-24-12 09:32 AM)    

11-24-12 12:50 PM
Singelli is Offline
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| ID: 692722 | 27 Words

Singelli
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That's a pretty intense poem right there!  I love the way you describe your emotions and confusion through interesting comparison and metaphors.  Keep up the good work!
That's a pretty intense poem right there!  I love the way you describe your emotions and confusion through interesting comparison and metaphors.  Keep up the good work!
Vizzed Elite
Singelli


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 08-09-12
Location: Alabama
Last Post: 2547 days
Last Active: 2522 days

11-25-12 04:51 AM
haitamchouiekh is Offline
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| ID: 693041 | 104 Words

haitamchouiekh
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singelli: thanks a lot ! i made another one but it is a little short.



 The Smile Of A Croc

when i think about the word smile

the last thing i think about are crocs

they always sit there smiling at you

they rarely move around as if they were rocks

you never know whaat the smile means

it could be a threat or a prank

or not even a smile

i think about it as the sun sank

it is getting late and yet i dont have a clue

all i know for now is that all animals have feelings ....



singelli: thanks a lot ! i made another one but it is a little short.



 The Smile Of A Croc

when i think about the word smile

the last thing i think about are crocs

they always sit there smiling at you

they rarely move around as if they were rocks

you never know whaat the smile means

it could be a threat or a prank

or not even a smile

i think about it as the sun sank

it is getting late and yet i dont have a clue

all i know for now is that all animals have feelings ....



Trusted Member
Call me Haitam


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 06-02-12
Last Post: 2092 days
Last Active: 1153 days

(edited by haitamchouiekh on 11-25-12 04:52 AM)    

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