This is a spoof of the night before Christmas.

I may have posted this already but I can't find it. So I decided to just name it this and let it sit for now.

Twas the night after Christmas, when all through the house
No one was caring, cats were not even killing a mouse.
The stockings were taken back to the bedroom with care,
In hopes that inside sweets soon would be theirs.

The children were distraught all discontent in their heads,
While visions of school the next week made them wish they were dead.
With grumpled distorted faces, and sad somber looks,
They put back their toys and took out their books.

When out on the terrace there arose such a ruckus,
It woke poor Jimmy, who screamed, "What the fu**us!"
Torwards his pitchfork he ran, with renewed speed
Hoping no stupid teenager had stolen his weed.

Out into the cold dark day he departed
I gave away my position when I farted.
When, what to my wonder did I see,
His cold depressing eyes hawking on me

With an angry disposition, and a swift swing,
He tossed me aside like nary a thing
More troubled than calm at me he came,
He attacked me first before asking my name.

"Now see here sonny, you are causing me pain!
I take things slow, so I got out of the fast lane!
Go back to the city, or wherever you are from,
Go pick on someone else, maybe you can bother a bum."

As I got up, I looked in his eye,
It looked an awful like he would cry.
I cleared my throat and then raised my voice,
"You have a chance to change, it is actually a choice."

He raised his head, and twinkled his ear.
Then he invited me in for a beer..
I said no thank you, I'm driving home soon,
I really don't need to be drunk and crash into a snow dune.

He was dressed up in his slippers, and his bathrobe too
His hands were all wrinkled, and he looked like a foo.
A bundle of hair was what he was needing,
His face was so red, it looked like he was always bleeding.

I offered him a ride to a nice cozy hotel in the city
Hoping to raise his spirits up from being s***ty.
He smiled real wide with his old timers face
He looked at me all toothy, I thought he was a mental case.

That stump of a left arm, said he lost in 'Nam,
Was suddenly alive at the mention of ham.
His bowl legged posture and his large beer belly,
His large clubfoot, and fondness for Nelly

He was grumpy and gruff and awfully full of despite,
I wanted to change him, and make him feel allright
A slow step forward, just one I took
Torwards this poor man who thought I was a crook

He spoke not a word, but instead motioned away
To come into his home, when suddenly a ray,
Arose on the horizon and dawned on his home
Because for this moment he was not alone

He smiled like a kid who had just gotten candy,
He was chipper and joyful and feeling all so dandy.
And I heard him say out of the side of my ear,
"Happy Christmas to all! And a Happy New Year"

legacyme3 : Now, that was a complex poem that I had to read twice.

Nevertheless, that was really nice! Made me grin at the screen >.>

Although, I'd suggest you to edit the 'Sh*tty' cuss word bomb in there. 

If I was reading this somehwere other than a public place, I would have been close to rofl-ing.    This definitely captures some of the things that go through me head around Christmas time. 1) I want to make someone happy --I mean a stranger.  2) Another semester of college is less than two weeks away.    I need to read this again, as a reminder, when Christmas does hit us.

Maybe I'm a little used to reading jokes that appear serious like this, but I was half expecting for either the main character to pull a last second prank on the guy or the guy to pull a prank on the character at the very end.

This made me laugh so hard this is nothing compared to the one I made a couple moths ago