A sad attempt at a South Park gameI used to love South Park. Actually I still do. I would just rather play video games than watch it. Once I played Stick of Truth, I got back into it for a short period of time. But this review isn't about Stick of Truth. That would be silly to review a game much superior to the one you are supposed to review, is it not?
This game isn't the best. It was probably created around the time of the first couple of seasons back when the show was accustomed to shock value rather than the satire it is known for today. But just why is the next review I do for a game for a game that is mediocre at best? I have no idea. I can't control these urges to review random games I played. Guess it's because I have a lot to say about this particular one. Who knows. Let's get started with the review!
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Graphics: Graphics aren't the worst. They aren't the best and the uninitiated or the gamers that play it for the first time might reel back in shocked outrage at the slightly awkward nature of the 3D graphics. They are superior to the Playstation version though so that's a comfort, I think. I happen to consider them decent at best. They won't make your eyes bleed, and they have that South Park charm, but there is just something that is off. I don't know what that is.
Sounds: The music is annoying! It's white noise and forgettable. Great to lose yourself into if you are like me and have to have game sound on. It won't bleed your ears or anything, but the music is just forgetable and boring. Characters sound like who they are supposed to but sound slightly muffled. And no, I am not just referring to Kenny. The voices sound compressed and this adds to the game's many annoyances.
Addictiveness: I tried to give this game a chance when I had it ages ago on my very old N64 (now covered in cat throw up and lost to the not really caring department... poor thing... the N64, not the cat. The cat that did it, is still alive) but the game just doesn't bother trying to hook you. If you try to be patient with it and muddle through, it just irritates you after one too many curses thrown at you. You can't do anything fun in this game without getting punished by it. Throw pee scented snowballs at the kids, and they curse you out, causing looped lines. Throw a snowball at a helpless dear or rabbit (sorry mom) and it subtracts your total score. Not that I care about that, but it's a bad thing. It doesn't want you to enjoy this game and it kills the mood for fans of said TV show.
Story: What story? Oh, all right. A meteor is crashing and it's going to destroy the world or something and it is up to the boys of this unfortunate town to save the day (and Chef.. but from what I played he barely did anything except throw show lines at you)I guess it's cool how you can choose your favorite character, but each of them don't really offer much to the table and they all play the same with only their voice as the major difference. To this day I still don't know what happens if you pick Kenny and reach a certain end level first boss. I never picked him and went with Kyle.
Depth: The game is unfortunately too hard and annoying (see below) to play long enough to care about how long it is and how much it offers you as a player. I probably stopped caring about the fates of those involved not long after starting the game.
Difficulty: The game starts off easy with the first level consisting of killer turkeys and killer turkey robots, but pass the first level and it becomes annoying. I think they don't want you playing it and thus made the first level easy as sin to get you relaxed and happy, and then, feeling confident and happy, reach the second level, to realize, NOPE. It's not going to let you win. The game is hard after the second level. I could just suck at this game, but it really is annoying. If I put my mind to it and save scum, I probably could play this trash... but it isn't worth the trouble. Now watch as I attempt to prove myself wrong and see if I can play it. Game controls like garbage. (Awful controls, not the band) I am sure this game is possible, but I was not the lucky, proud few that can claim they beat the N64 South Park. Which is sad cause it looks awesome, if you just stare at the box.
Final Thoughts: In my opinion, don't even play this. You can if you want. I don't know you. I can't make you stop playing this. I can't even force myself to not try to play it. Which is sad. Just play Stick of Truth or it's eventual sequel for a GOOD South Park gaming experience. The game just doesn't make you care. You know that time you want to play a game just to prove you still got the skills for it, or if you try VERY hard, you can put your mind to something? Well after the first level of this game, it becomes impossible to care. One two many frustrating game overs due to runaway robot enemies just tick you off and you take the cartridge out of your poor N64 and regret all of your life choices up to that point.
South Park is a decent show, but these early games before Stick of Truth were just awful. South Park deserves better than this garbage. I can play the PSP Family Guy game and ignore the awful gameplay, but this, I can't ignore this. Don't play this if you want to save your sanity for a few hours. If you think you can beat it, go ahead! I will clap in honor at your superior gaming skills. But anything past that first level just isn't worth it.
Graphics
6 Sound
5 Addictive
3 Depth
5 Story
5 Difficulty
10
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