So I like this girl she has this amazing infectious personality that lights up the mood she can cheer any one up. but at the same time she has some violent ways just like me (I boxed amateur for the last four years and mma starting last year) ,but on top of all this she is athletic,smart,and gorgeous. she melts my heart with how nice she is but from a distance i just find myself staring at her.
Me and her have been friends since third grade and i have been trying to go out with her since middle school. in that time i have helped her and tried to be the best friend i can to her. but time and time again i have watched her go out with the same guy over and over i have talked her though heart ach though heart ach. but this same guy beats me out time and time again. he just beat me out again when i tried to ask her out to home comming and it turns out she said yes to him the day before. i know that i am less then avrige in the looks department the only thing i have good is that i am really muscular i have a six pack and pecs. but that dsent really help me i am not the funniest guy or the brightest i also know that i spend alot of time in karate and boxing gyms but i mean i really care about her.
 the main thing i was worried about is yester day me her and one of my friends where walking to her class, and she said that i was a really great friend. then she walked into her class and my friend has been saying that she officaly friend zoned me.i was wondering is that true. Is there any way that i can ask her out or how can i flirt with her, i try but i am really bad at it. I really want to ask her out next time she becomes avalible. But i always think well i should wait so she can get over the last guy. but then another guy comes along and gets her. how can i ask her out do i need to not wait or what. Am i officaly friend zoned and how do i get out of the friend zone 
i really don't like asking about these things on sites or to my friends but i always have trouble with this and i think it may be time to get some help


some time leater.  i took all your advise and i told her. now after class when we usally walk together see hurrys off and when i talk to her she does not look at me and when she replys she says really short sentences really quetly i don't know what to do. the way i told her was this she just got out of the hospital and came back to school so i bought her a necklece and a box thing that she said she liked. i told her when i gave it to her. she then told me that she is not that into jewlery and that she never whears it. then the next day she came in smilling and clutching a necklece that the on off guy got her. i don't see how she still likes him when he breaks her heart so often

Sounds like to me, this other guy isn't the right guy for herr (if she is contantly chosing him for all this time but hasn't made anything offical out of it, + a lot of heart aches), but how to steal the girl? Simple, it'll take time, but try this:

What 'til shes having issues with this other guy, and when shes talking to you about it, subtly suggest the idea that he just isn't the guy (what I said above), but don't be insistant on it. Then when she makes the break up (the permanent one), you've completed step one (the hard step), eliminate the competition. Step 2: Ask her out again at theright time (not too soon, not too late). And boom! Girl stolen!

But beware, if she relizes that you used the situation (relationship probs wiith the other guy) to get her to date you, she may be very likely to get mad, straight up deny you, annd actually harm your friendship.

Hope this is helpful (and a bit funny), but if it's not helpful, maybe it will get the ball rolling for more replys.

bigger0gamer : like her and this guy will start dating then brake up like two weeks later. Then a month or two later she likes him again and they are going out again or they are going to home coming or a dance like they actually date 

There's no such thing as a friendzone. She just simply isn't interesting as she is already obsessively occupied with that other guy. Don't wait around for too long or else you'll be waiting for nothing. It's hard to hear this but maybe the best thing is to move on. You never know what the future holds for you and sometimes it can seriously surprise you. Some surprises are amazing, some surprises are not so good but that's life. Remember however, that the only decision that can be made is a decision made by you.

I wouldn't suggest that "he isn't the guy". Here's why - If I told you that... your best friend is stupid, your first reaction would be to think of reasons that your best friend is smart. Then if I laid out all the reasons that I think your best friend is stupid, you would start to become skeptical of my motives and would only become more attached to that friend.

Never tear the other guy down. Instead, when she says something like - and I'm being generic - "He treats me bad." You should defend him by saying - and I'm being generic - "I'm sure he doesn't mean to, how could anyone ever mean to treat you bad. You're just too awesome!" Never underestimate the power of a comforting touch when defending him plus complimenting her. It's as simple as a soft touch on her arm near the hand or her leg near the knee. By defending the guy, you're taking his place and telling her you would never treat her bad and following up by telling her that she is amazing. The touch symbolizes your ability to give her the affection you wish to give. Touching EVENTUALLY leads to holding her in your arms.

Women want to be friends first. It's a trusting place and trust is the foundation of every solid relationship. So, you're half way there. Don't be fooled into thinking the friend zone is a real place that she's put you until you hear the words "I just want to be friends" straight from her mouth.

Here's the deal.  You're allowing her to be emotionally attached to you without any physical part of it.  You're her friend.  Friends make great boyfriends or girlfriends but until she sees you as different from a friend, she'll keep treating you that way.  You may even give off the vibe that you're only her friend and you don't want to change anything either.

Don't be subtle, don't hint, don't be sly or clever.  Tell her how you feel.  Tell her she's beautiful, you like her, and you want to be more than just friends.  You're going to risk the friendship because she may not want to reciprocate but that isn't as bad as just hanging around her being her buddy the whole time.

Go big or go home.  Those are the two options you have.  

Take the time to come up with something that's quick and summarizes your feelings.  Tell her to her face and then walk away and let her simmer on it.  Let her come to you.

So:

"Hey, (name).  I think you're pretty and funny and you  make me happy when I'm around you.  I want to be more than friends.  You're always breaking up with (bf name) and I think I can do better.  Let me know what you think when you're ready."

Walk away like a boss and don't talk to her until she comes up to you and tells you how she feels.  That would be a great way to deal with this because you're direct, you're to the point and you're not p****footing around.

warmaker : thanks to all the replies so far i might try some of them i am still looking into all of yall's sugestions 

blasife : And after reading some of what other people said, I realize how stupid what I said is. I hope you didn't take my advice and listen to the other guys. (No relationship exp here, that wasn't was it?)

bigger0gamer : i have not tried any thing yet the day after posting it she got back with that guy so i am just her friend that she always goes to for help

I dunno, guy. It seems like you've been into her for a really long time and she isn't getting the hint. I'd do like warmaker said and just throw it out there. The worst she can do is say that she'd prefer to keep being friends, and that's what you're doing anyway. Despite that she's dating someone, it sounds like they've had a terrible track record, and they're just dating for convenience/emotional desperation.

I'd just straight up tell her, "Hey, I'm interested in you romantically and I have been for quite some time. I know you're dating Dickhead, and I'm not trying to start any drama, but I really needed to get my feelings out there and let you know that I think we could have something really great if you'd give me a chance." Just as long as she knows you'll keep supporting her as a friend, I don't really see the harm. She really needs to let go of that guy. If they've broken up so many times, there's obviously not a very good mechanic. That they keep getting back together just means that they're too forgiving and they're not willing to see that one or both of them deserve better.

Honesty doesn't hurt as long as you're chill about it and you're not trying to make her feel dumb for dating him or knocking on that guy, because if she's thinking she's all attached, she'll probably pull away from you. But it should be good to air things out.

tl;dr: I'd air it out despite her being in her crappy on again off again relationship... again.

KG : i have not been able to try any of these since she is not back in her on off relationship but i have one more question. me and her have been friends since 3rd grade so does that make this harder?

blasife : I dunno, boss. You tell me? I had the biggest crush on my best friend in elementary school and he had no idea. He was horrified by the idea because I was his closest friend and he "friendzoned" me like you wouldn't believe. Then it felt awkward after that. But we were fifth or sixth graders and everything is awkward then.

In my opinion, I would say it's probably going to be harder than it would be if you had just known each other for a couple years. You both have a lot of history together, but on the other hand, you guys are old enough to deal with this sort of thing I would think. And if the same thing happens to you as it did for me, she's being a lousy friend. You guys should support each other regardless. I would tell her your feelings like I said in my last post. Don't be overbearing, and don't berate her for her crappy dating decisions thus far. Just be honest with her, and be sure to really sell the point that you won't hold it against her if she doesn't want to try dating. Make sure she knows she can count on you for your friendship and support despite her answer, and that you're not trying to be dramatic. If you've liked her for as long as you say you have, it's about time to speak your mind.

blasife :  Ah. Let me mention something from your first post. I don't put this because I think you're a friend zoner, sir, but let me post it for the benefit of others who might consider it.  First off, ignore what a friend-zone is. It does not exist, except to idiots who think that, OH NO, having to settle for someones trust and friendship forever is the worst thing. Just in case anyone reading this believes such a phantom zone exists, consult Mr. Roundtree's somewhat humorous and serious article here: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-relationship-zones-worse-than-the-friend-zone/  as its all a matter of how you see your relationship. The article even has helpful comics for the DL, TR types.

Now, this is my advice to you.  You are in the classic struggle of liking someone who might be clueless, and you know telling them could make the whole relationship weird. Madonna even wrote a song about it ("What Can You Lose"), and I think it pretty much sums up the general feeling.

The only way you'll know is to eventually ask her if she ever felt interested in you. You of course, realize tact, and are not barging in while shes in a relationship. But its the only way you'll get your yes/no answer is to ask her, and its probably as painful to think about as swallowing a jar full of needles.  

I've been here, hell, probably most people have. And you're right, it sucks.  I waited a long time (4 years) while I tried to figure out if things were flirts and wanted to go further before I asked, and she told me no, it was pretty much all me thinking that way. You must have not only the courage to ask, but also the strength of spirit to accept rejection without blaming her.  People don't choose who they fall in love with. I wish you courage, and spirit, if you choose to know.

endings : Yea those do look pretty bad. I just I don't know i love her and i care about her but i am scard of the risk. The funny thing is that i have boxed for 6 years karate 5 years and amiture mma 3 years. i get into street fights and stuff like that but she scars me. I love her she is the light of my life she is amazing. but i don't know why but i never think i am good enogh for her

Just tell her. Ask her out, tell her you really do care about her. Tell her everything you've been telling us.

If she says yes, then that is great for you.
If she says no, then it's still good. It means you can stop worrying about trying to get her, because you'll know if she wants to be with you or not. It might hurt, but it will be for the better.

(before anyone says anything, being persistent is a bad thing here. She might even start to dislike you because of it)

Sorry for the spam and offensive language. I won't be bothering you anymore.

TheNameWithNoNumbers : uhh... I was not expecting anyone to give him this advice.

TheNameWithNoNumbers : i never even saw your so idk what your talking about

Please take what I say with a grain of salt. 

The best way to date her is a 3 step process.

Step 1. Ask her why she likes the guy. If she really doesn't like him but is interested in him for some other reason like he's attractive then don't let that discourage you. You should be interested in her for the long run which should be much more based on personality.
Step 2.  Ask yourself if you really like her. Do you see yourself dating her in 2 years or even farther in the future. If so then definitely attempt to form a relationship but if not definitely reconsider if you would value a lifetime friendship over a temporary relationship.
Step 3. Tell her how you feel. If she isn't dating someone and hasn't been dating then tell her you like her. The best thing to do is honestly tell her your feelings.

I hope I helped.

seremph : I will. I also wanted to add that we went into lock down today and the substitute teacher did not know where to put people so she ended up putting the girl i like right in front of the door and i switched with her. then some people started trying to open the door. then we heard shouts and they where gone. So i put myself in danger for another mans girl. Oh yea and i gave her a present