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kabenon007's Last 25 Game Reviews
Worms - Armageddon
09-30-12 09:28 PM
Only the Worms Survive
Worms aren't supposed to be the subject of games. Which is exactly what makes the great subjects for games! Earthworm Jim, and the Worms series are proof of that. And why? Because we find it amusing to think of one of the simplest of creatures wielding heavy weaponry.

Worms Armageddon is the first N64 foray for the worms, and it brings all the classic Wormy gameplay to life in glorious 3D! Ok, I'm just kidding, it doesn't. Boy, I hope no one makes a game like that *wink wink* Worms belong in 2D. For those who don't know, the Worms series is about you controlling a team of five worms, one at a time, and making strategic attacks against your opponents' teams of five worms. The environments are fully destructible, as are the worms. The environment is like one big sand castle, with each armament chipping away at the landscape and the worms' health bars until only team is left standing.

Standard weapon choices abound, such as grenades, bazookas, shotguns, blowtorches, ninja ropes, etc. These are all well and good, and perfectly capable of causing lumbricine (look it up) destruction. But a game in which worms are the main characters must have just as zany weaponry. Enter things like the exploding cow, the banana bomb, and my all time favorite, the Holy Hand Grenade. Each brings a unique style of destruction to the game, and are equally fun to use as their more mundane counterparts.

Success at Worms is like an art form. To correctly judge the wind when you fire your bazooka shot, watch as it curves in toward your target and then explode in his face takes quite a bit of skill to get right consistently. But when it succeeds, and you watch your opponent's worm careen into the drink and drown, it is that much more rewarding because it is so difficult. However, this is a game in which your failures are just as entertaining as your successes. To incorrectly judge the wind when you fire your bazooka shot, watch as it curves away from your target and the... Read the rest of this Review
Mario Pinball Land
09-30-12 09:04 PM
Pinball Plumber
The sky is falling! Women and children first! A Mario game receives a low score! Yes, it's true folks. I did not like this game. Now, before you go about getting your trousers in a twist, I understand some people out there may enjoy this game. In fact, I could have enjoyed this game. I should have enjoyed this game. But the simple fact of it is: I didn't. And I'll tell you why.

But first, the setup. (Insert classic Mario storyline here) For those who don't know, that means Peach is kidnapped by Bowser by encasing her in a ball and shooting her off to his castle. Mario gets shoved inside of a ball to give chase. Why this is a necessity, I have no idea. The result is your standard Mario quest of defeating enemies to collect stars and using those stars to unlock the next arena door. While in the form of a pinball.

See, it sounds great, doesn't it? An excuse for a new type of Mario game. And it is most definitely a Mario game. The power ups, the enemies, the sound effects and music; all is distinctly Mario. And the graphics are fantastic. Everything appears crisp and clean on the screen, even when things get hectic, with Marioball careening around the table/iceworld/sandworld/whatever world you happen to inhabit, the denizens of said world getting blown to starry bits when hit by the mustachioed ball of plumber.

So why the harsh score? If this stays true to the Mario formula, and it looks and sounds great, why aren't I extolling its praises? There's one thing that the developers didn't really think about, if you want to know my opinion, which I assume you do since you're reading this review. They didn't think that the world of Mario and the world of pinball don't really mesh well together. Think about it. Mario's quest is about collecting a singular item called Stars, and these only appear onscreen one at a time. You must hit them exactly with the Marioball in order to pick them up. And they are usually timed. See the problem here? The collect... Read the rest of this Review
The Orange Box
09-25-12 09:22 PM
Orange Flavored Box
I've been coming back to this game, intending on reviewing it, and then I get cold feet and shy away. It is such an immense undertaking that the only way I can keep myself from going insane is by breaking it up into the respective games that make up Valve's Macaroni and Cheese Colored Cube. We'll start with my least favorite.

TEAM FORTRESS 2

Yes yes. How amazing must a game collection be if the least favorite is the best selling multiplayer FPS of all time, now the best selling hat-selling simulator disguising itself as a free-to-play FPS. This is the cream of the crop when it comes to class based shooters, partly because the classes are so well balanced, partly because each class is unique and fulfills its own niche in the game, but mostly because the classes are impossible to take seriously. Just watch the "Meet the Team" videos on Youtube, you'll see what I mean. Get this bunch of maniacs together, give them weapons, and you're bound to have a good time. That's not to mention the solidly built level design for the games levels, though there aren't many from the get go, the fast pace of the action. However, this game does earn its place at the end of the totem pole. First, the controls are quite sluggish, for an FPS. Perhaps it was my diet of Call of Duty and Battlefield upon which I had been gorging myself, but I found aiming and movement to be a bit slow. On top of that this game, strictly a multiplayer game, has very little following on XBox. Most of its players find their home on the PC, and it was tough to find full games when I was playing. That doesn't keep the game itself from being wonderful, but it definitely means it's harder to play or enjoy.

Half-Life, 2, Episodes 1 and 2

Yeah, it seems a bit silly. First there's Half-Life, then Half-Life 2, then Half-Life 2: Episode One and then Half-Life 2: Episode Two. This is just as bad as when Lucasarts went on their sequel naming rampage of Star wars: Dark Forces, then Star W... Read the rest of this Review
Left 4 Dead
08-28-12 02:14 AM
Left 4 Dead
If you walk into any respectable gaming establishment (no I'm not talking about that one down 4th and Harrelton, that place is totally sketchy) you are bound to run into a plethora of zombie games. They could practically have a bin full to the brim with games related to the killing of the undead menace. No company can call themselves a self-respecting publisher, it seems, without churning out something with zombies, guns, and the applications of guns against zombies. But, dear children, it was always this way. There once was a time when zombie games were few and far between, and they stunk just as much as their subject material. And then along came a certain game by a certain powerhouse of a developer. Yes, a valve was opened, and Left 1 Dead (never was good at math) came into existence. Though there is no way to prove this for certain, I conjecture that this game is what started the zombie craze and, apart from its own sequel, it remains at the top still today.

Let's get the boring stuff out of the way. The graphics are wonderful. Slicing up zombies has never looked so great. The story is ho-hum, B-movie, typical zombie affair, but the game knows it, so it dons a sort of "look at me, I'm doing zombie cliches, but I know I am, so it's funny!" which works for this game because it is doing just that. It takes those zombie cliches and makes an entire game out of every zombie movie you've ever seen. Even the campaigns are displayed as movie posters. The sound is pitch perfect, with the soundtrack brilliantly sparse in most circumstances to up the suspense but kicking into high gear in times of intense action. I particularly like the sounds of the Special Infected, (the more powerful zombies, if you will) as each sound is instantly recognizable and will let you know in exactly what way you are about to. A high pitched scream, for example, means a Hunter is about the pounce on you and eat your face. The standard shoot-em-up mechanics are on par with all of Valve'... Read the rest of this Review
Banjo-Kazooie
08-08-12 10:33 PM
Various Musical Instruments
Banjo Kazooie is a hard game to review. I sat down at my computer thinking to myself: I loved this game. It's the perfect game. I want to be playing it right now, not writing a review about it. I could really go for some cheesecake right now. I love this game. But this love is hard to put into words. Especially words that justify the perfect rating I give it. I guess I give this game a perfect rating because I cannot think of a single thing I dislike about the game, and therefore it must receive a perfect score. So I guess this is going to be a glowing review filled with fluffy bunnies and rainbows, so those of you looking for some angst in your review, look elsewhere. Go read a review on the new Modern Warfare games, people seem to hate those games.

Banjo Kazooie is a wonder to play from start to finish. I seriously believe I had a towel underneath me during the entirety of the game, because my mouth was hanging open and I was drooling everywhere. From the opening cutscene to the final battle, this game continually impresses. You are a shorts wearing bear, because every animal game star must wear clothes. Not only do you wear pants, but you have a backpack too! But inside that backpack is not school supplies, or travel necessities. You have a talking bird stashed in there. Don't ask, you'll never know. And the zaniness doesn't change throughout the game. Your sister has been kidnapped by a rhyming witch who wants to suck the beauty from your sister. Thus you and your backpack bound friend must rescue your sister from the evil witch by collecting jigsaw pieces scattered throughout the nine worlds.

Each world is an absolute wonder. From Treasure Trove Cove to Clankers Cavern, the levels are absolutely huge and full of interesting places to explore and characters to meet and challenges to overcome. Not only are the levels gigantic, but they are all varied in style, from beaches to mechanical caverns, to a haunted mansion, to the overworld, Spiral Mo... Read the rest of this Review
Battlefield 1943
07-31-12 09:29 PM
Battlefield Modern Call of Warfare Duty 1943
Battlefield 1943 is yet another one of those games most people flock to like a fat man to a chicken pot pie sale. Or like paparazzi whenever Lindsay Lohan decides to attempt to come out in public again. Yes, friends, it is another first person shooter taking a classic war as its backdrop and then putting in the thick of things with a trusty potato gun and some spuds. Those are potato guns in Modern Warfare right?

As much as I hate to subscribe to these types of games eg. Battlefield 3, Modern Warfare 1, 2, 2.5 and 3, I can't help but love this particular title, mostly because, though it bares a striking resemblance to its forefathers, it has somehow managed to escape the heavy influence of its fathers and managed to blaze its own trail in the explosion filled, racially insensitive world that is modern first person shooters. They have fallen prey to the allure of one more syndrome, also known as sequel syndrome, in that they, instead of growing upon the previous installment, they instead give gamers more of what made the first game popular without adding anything new, thus we see a problem of quantity vs. quality. The new games take everything that was rich about the games previous and heap them on heavy in the next, until every gamer out there is filled to bursting with shooter "goodness" without really getting anything substantial to feast upon. Enter Battlefield 1943, a surprisingly filling title that, despite its apparent lack of what makes up the conventional modern day shooter, brings new life to an increasingly bland genre.

The core mechanics are the same as other shooters. You have a shooty stick, your enemies have shooty sticks, and you are trying to make your shooty stick hit before your opponents' shooty sticks. What I admire is that they don't shove a massive amount of weapons at you. Each class has their standard weapon, along with a secondary weapon and other weapon options. You cannot change simply one weapon, if you want you can pick... Read the rest of this Review
Star Fox 64
07-17-12 11:57 PM
Star Fox 64
Wow, I've managed to already get to the actual review without spouting off the line that this game made famous. Hint: rhymes with carol bowl. This game was really what propelled the N64 into a new level of gaming when it first came out. Sure it had Super Mario 64, which was great, but that catered to the platformers out there. What about people who wanted to blow the crap out of stuff? That itch, so easily scratched nowadays with seemingly every new game being some sort of blow-em shoot-em knife-em up like Call of Warfare, Modern Battlefield 3.5, was soothed by the appearance of Star Fox 64. Not only did it provide satisfying gameplay and story, but it also introduced a peripheral that would soon become standard in every game controller: the Rumble Pak. Yes, Star Fox 64 is the game that the original force feedback brought to rumbling life in your hands, which meant you felt every hit. It was so successful that every controller made thereafter would have a rumble feature built in.

I could talk about this game all day. The gameplay is so easy to pick up and play. Controlling the Arwing, Fox Mcloud's vehicle of choice, or the LandMaster, the land locked tank, is a breeze. The controls are wonderfully responsive, with the slightest movement of the control stick sending your vehicle exactly where you wanted it to go. Which is good, because this game's enemies come fast and furious, and you have to have a quick thumb to avoid their lasers, their bombs, their mines, and their eyeballs. Yeah, there are enemy eyeballs.

Another major praise for this game is the voice acting. Nintendo is known for silent, or at least mostly mute, protagonists. Link says nothing, Mario squeals with delight, but rarely does he form coherent sentences. This game, however, is fully voice acted, and quite well done I might add. From the sarcastic Falco to the androgynous Slippy to the instructive Peppy "DO A BAR..." No, I refuse to succumb to the temptation... must write review...... Read the rest of this Review
Castle Crashers
07-15-12 08:36 PM
Castle Crashers: Starring Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn
Castle Crashers is one of those odd games that comes along every so often that you absolutely love, and yet love to hate. I go back and I play it often, but only for short bursts of time, because while it makes me very happy with what it does right, it makes me very angry with what I believe it does wrong.

We'll try going with the good/bad/good routine. What works for this game is hard to describe, because it is not just one thing that stands out, it is the overall cohesiveness of the game. The combat mechanics, a side-scrolling beat-em-up pulled straight out of the old school quarter arcades, is responsive and most importantly fun. The story is wonderfully silly. Not just funny, it is absolutely insane, gut-wrenchingly funny. There are not many games that actually make me laugh out loud, but this was certainly one of them, whether it is little characters doing crazy stuff in the background, or the insanely funny (and difficult) bosses, or lots and lots of bathroom humor. Also, the idea of a consistent character throughout your game, leveling up your abilities and finding new tools (some more useful than others) is a welcome change to the standard beat-em-up formula, in which your character really doesn't change throughout the game. These gradual changes give a great sense of progression throughout the game; you really feel like you are going somewhere in this game. Revisiting earlier levels with your suped up characters and absolutely destroying the enemies that once gave you difficulties is oh-so-satisfying. The magic system, when I first used it, seemed to be useless and pitifully weak, but when you put skill points into it it quickly becomes the go-to attack most of the time.

But it is these incredible assets that also prove to be some of the game's greatest downfalls. Remember those tools I was talking about? Most of them are wonderful additions to the game. The bombs allow for room clearing explosions, the sandwich is... well... monstrous, an... Read the rest of this Review
Super Smash Bros.
06-26-12 05:18 PM
Super Smash Melee Brawl Siblings!
This is it. The game that spawned the gaming phenomenon that is Super Smash Bros, a phenomenon that Sony is now attempting to capitalize on (read: ape) with Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale. But little does Sony know that it's all in the name, because this is their first game of this nature, and already it has a descriptor on it. They should have named the first one Battle Royale so they could name the second one All-Stars Battle Royale. Keep up Sony.

Regardless, the core of this game, a core which would go on in each of the newer generation Smash Bros games, is so rock solid you could stick it on the tip of the Iberian Peninsula and call it Gibraltar. The normal attacks, all mapped to the A button, the special attacks, all mapped to the B button, and the grab and block moves, are so simple to understand that anyone can at the very least begin to play this game. I push A to punch, B shoots a fireball/laser/FALCON PUNCH! But despite the simplistic fighting design, the depth of fighting and strategy that comes out of these simple mechanics is surprising. The whole system is so versatile that in the hands of a master, you'd think they had access to a different moveset than you, with the way they can string together combos, items, and dodges.

The graphics are amazing, with just the right combination of traditional fighters such as Street Fighter and a more cartoonish, arcadey approach. This fits very well with the idea that anyone can play this game. The sound, especially the music, is pulled straight from whatever game that particular element came from.

Which brings me to what really sold this game to me: the world. Nintendo knew exactly what it was doing when it created this game. It knew that Nintendo fans had, long before Super Smash Bros ever was conceived, been staging epic battles between Mario and Samus, Pikachu and Yoshi, through their imaginations, with or without action figures or other toys. The opening cinematic of Smash Bros s... Read the rest of this Review
Super Mario Land
06-21-12 08:24 PM
Super Jumpman Land!
The Italian Plumber finds his way onto the handheld market for the first time in Super Mario Land for the GameBoy, and this was one of the first games I owned for the system. I remember it fondly for the long car rides I would spend sending Mario flying across the screen, clearing gap after gap, spike after spike, trying desperately to chase after Princess Daisy (yes! not Peach!) only to have her be the first woman to deny me, albeit the last woman to deny me by turning into a monster and hopping away.

The game takes place in Sarasaland, Daisy's home kingdom, and an alien named Tatanga has hypnotized the entire land's inhabitants, including Daisy, whom he wants to marry. I mention this only because I never knew these wonderful tidbits of information, I only discovered them after reading the Wikipedia article on the subject. Guess I better site my sources: [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Mario_Land[/url]
I don't know if the game's manual explained this (I'm sure it did) because I probably didn't want to read a game's manual when the game was staring me in the face, blinking at me from behind its large mustache. This is a huge departure for Mario, as he is no longer forced to fight the same enemy (Bowser) for the same reason (getting a slight smooch from Princess Peach). Instead he is fighting Tatanga for a slight smooch from Daisy. Apparently Peach wasn't enough for Mario, he needs two pretty princesses.

The worlds you traverse are fun and varied. They are not the typical fire land, ice land etc, more so focusing on genres, like Egyptian pyramid or even one that always and forever will remind me of Easter Island. But what really sells these different worlds is the music. I absolutely adore the music from this game, as each song that plays in the background matches the level design perfectly, and never feels repetitive. I also enjoy hearing the music speed up when your time is running out, it lends a sense of urgency in those moments. No... Read the rest of this Review
Wario Land - Super Mario Land 3
06-19-12 07:05 PM
WarioLand- Greed
Wario Land was the first game I ever wanted to complete. I'm not talking about finish; I'm talking complete, like all you crazies out there who complete every Playstation game to unlock those silly trophies. I wanted to explore every inch of this game until I had discovered everything there was. Why did I want to do this? Because this game turned me into a greedy little child.

Wario, the game's protagonist and arch-nemesis of Mario, is a little sore from losing the castle to Mario in Super Mario Land 2, so what does he do? Does he play the stocks to amass a large sum of money to legitimately purchase a home for himself? Does he build one from scratch? No, in typical Wario fashion he decides to take the hard earned moolah from others and use it for his own nefarious purposes. Granted, the people he steals from are pirates, so the treasure never actually belonged to them anyway, but still. Stealing is stealing is repossessing.

You guide Wario through many colorful worlds on an island known as Kitchen Island, and the levels are all named accordingly, such as Rice Beach, SS Teacup, etc. The worlds are all wonderfully imaginative, never feeling like the aesthetic overstays its welcome, and the music that corresponds to the worlds is apt for each location as well.

Though the main gameplay element is platforming (which the game handles very well) boss fights form a large part of this game as well, as each world ends in a boss fight with some pretty unique bosses, each of which necessitate a different style to defeat them, as opposed to just the regular jump on its head approach. Wario is also given Marioesque powerups in the form of Pots, which transform him into a large Wario, a Dragon Wario, a Jet Wario, and a Bull Wario, the last of which is my personal favorite as it allows you to stick into the ceiling. Though not useful throughout the entirety of the game, it does manage to work its way into some interesting level designs. (Speaking of leve... Read the rest of this Review
Pokemon Ruby
06-18-12 11:23 AM
Ruby: a Diamond in the Rough?
Another day. another Pokemon game it seems. Ruby does what every new Pokemon game does, adds a huge amount of Pokemon to the same game under a different name and region. This time, they add 135 new Pokemon and take you to the region of Hoenn. That brings the total Pokemon to 386. Now, this may sound a little Far'fetch'd, but I almost preferred the Pokemon games back before they were Muking around with adding more and more Pokemon. The task to catch-em-all was cool at first because it was something attainable, not to say that catching every Pokemon in these games is impossible, I just find it a bit Oddish that the way the game increases the difficulty of your achieving your catch-em-all dream is simply to add more to catch, no increase the actual gameplay difficulty. All the developers have to do is look outside for some sort of animal they can emulate in a Pokemon (Slug), slightly change the name (Slugma), and add some element effect to it, then Abra, Kadabra, Alakazam, you've got yourself a new Pokemon game.

I don't mean to be all Gloom and doom here. I know I'm asking for people to attach some Electrodes to me and fry me with electricity. I'm not saying this is a bad game. It's a Pokemon game, carrying over all the gameplay elements from previous games. But the Exeggcutive Director does not stray too far from the original formula. While there are some new additions (and I'll cover those in a sec, don't get your undies in a Tangela) these new additions really don't add anything substantial to the game or are underused.

Basic Pokemon game goes thus: Boy (or girl) receives Pokemon, embarks on glorious quest to obtain all gym badges without Slaking, MUST BECOME THE VERY BEST. LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS! ...*cough* *cough* Pardon the throat there. I know it wasn't the best singing ever, but I've been dealing with a cold all week and have been Koffing and Weezing all day. Ouch, what a Ghastly pun. My main point is that the real core difference between one P... Read the rest of this Review
Gauntlet Legends
06-05-12 07:04 PM
DIABLO 3! Ok, it's Gauntlet Legends...
With Diablo III currently decreasing the productivity of the world by 50%, I wanted to touch on one of those genres called Diablo clones; which basically means a game that is like Diablo, that looks like Diablo, that people sometimes call Diablo when they see them passing in the store and then sheepishly realize that they were mistaken, but is not Diablo. Gauntlet Legends is one such game.

You control one bulldozer... I mean hero... and plow through... I mean hack and slash through hordes of enemies in an attempt to reach the end of the level. The bulldozer metaphor works well though, because the levels are literally crawling with enemies. Enemies constantly spawn out of generators that you must destroy or they will keep on coming. This elevates the game above the normal hacker/slasher so that you have an additional task as opposed to simply killing everything that is green and moves and smells vaguely like a goblin.

The levels are enormous, with multiple paths through most of them, though they do settle into the stereotypes on occasion: the mountain level, the lava level, etc. But for every bland level there is an amazing level to make you completely forget about the lackluster ones: a battlefield complete with trenches, and hell. Yeah, this game takes you to hell. And you win. Or at least you can if you beat the boss. Each set of interconnected levels ends with a wonderful boss fight. These aren't your typical boss fights, these are you pitted against a gigantic foe who will crush you if you are not careful. I won't spoil them for you, but they are among the highlights of the game.

There aren't a lot of playable characters; four when you start the game and then you can unlock four more, but each is simply a reskinned version of a previous hero, but each one plays differently. The wizard and archer are ranged fighters and the warrior and valkyrie are close range. In addition they have their own super attacks that charge the longer you go ... Read the rest of this Review
Star Wars Episode I - Racer
05-27-12 05:09 PM
The Only Good Thing to Come Out of the Prequels...
Podracing will long be known as the best thing that came out the three Star Wars prequels, and this game captures the feel conveyed in that short sequence in the movie and stretches it to encompass an entire game, filled with Star Warsie goodness.

That was my favorite part of this game, the atmosphere. The selection menus, the markets where you buy parts, though simple menus, are drenched in Star Wars flavor. Pit droids walk by, you're in a cantina, whatever. What could have been simple menu selections becomes something more thanks to the attention of the developers in putting Star Wars flavor into every aspect of this game.

And it is a large game. There are so many courses to race (though some feel like retreads of previous tracks) but each one is a blast to race through. The tracks are never just simple dirt courses; no no these tracks go underwater, across chasms, which lends itself to the epic feel that Star Wars necessitates. And the sheer speed in which you zip around these tracks is enthralling as well. You have to hand it to the developers, they really capture the nail-biting, nausea-inducing speed characteristic of the movie race.

In addition there are a wide variety of Pods to choose from, and they all look wonderful. Performance is different between the Pods, but that can be changed by purchasing parts for your Pod, to increase its speed or handling for example.

My biggest complaint that I have is in the physics of the Pods themselves. In the movie, we see them crash up against each other and careen out of control. They have weight, they have a presence. In the game, you can run into another Pod and it's almost as if you go right through them. You can't run them off the course or into an obstacle. I don't know if the developers missed that aspect of the programming or what. You do take damage when you run into another Pod, but it is inconsequential and then you pass right on through. The repair function, used in such si... Read the rest of this Review
Limbo
05-16-12 06:53 PM
Limbo- Not just a party game
Limbo is just one of those games I find myself getting lost in. No matter how many times I play it, I always find myself loving every moment, looking forward to the next time I get to play. And then my back gives out from bending over backwards for so long. Oh wait. I'm being told that I'm reviewing the wrong Limbo game. I guess the one I'm actually supposed to be reviewing is for Xbox Live Arcade. Guess I better go play it. Just wait a little while, I'll be back soon. In the meantime, here's a picture of a kitten to amuse you.



Phew I'm back. No seriously. You've been here about 5 hours, which is about how long it takes to play all the way through Limbo. So there you go, one criticism down: it's short. But I am a man who cares more about quality than quantity, and for this game, the quality packed into that five hour time span I spent with Limbo is worth more than many mainstage, 50 hour behemoths that are shoved down our throats by big name game companies.

LIMBO is the super-stylized side scrolling platformer from developer PlayDead set in, I guess, some sort of limbo world where a small boy must find his sister. That's the story. No word on why you're there, even exactly where "there" is, just that you wake up there and must find your sister. Your sister who is equally dark and morose as the world you inhabit.

Most immediately apparent in this game is the art style, which is monochromatic. The characters, environments, and hazards are all black and white and various shades of grey in between, which not only serves its purpose to display a dark and dreary world, but also makes the hazards more difficult to overcome. "Is that a bunch of grass or a bear trap?" Literally a thought I had in my head while playing this game.

This game is most definitely about being trapped alone, as everything else in this game is out to get you. The human antagonists are wonderfully childish in appearance yet adult-like in brutality, killing... Read the rest of this Review
Crash Bandicoot
05-14-12 05:31 PM
Crash Bandicoot: 3ish-D Platforming
I say Nintendo, you say Mario. I say Sega, you say Sonic. Nintendo! Mario! Sega! Sonic! Playstation! ........

Each major gaming company seemed to have their own mascot. Nintendo's was obviously the Italian plumber turned super hero/turtle killer Mario. Sega, seeking to one-up Nintendo in terms of characterization and attempting to appeal to a "more hip" crowd, created the finger-waggling Sonic. If you thought Nintendo invented waggling, you'd be wrong!

The maniac marsupial Crash Bandicoot was publisher Naughty Dog's attempt at creating Sony's mascot, and they took one-upping and one-upped it to a whole level of uppidy. Sonic may have had a shockingly brazen attitude, but Crash was just insanity on a CD, as clearly stated by the game's first level: N. Sanity Beach. Properly pronounced that would be North Sanity Beach, but I'm sure the developers were going for something other than that. For one thing, Crash spends the entirety of the game half-naked, clad only in shorts and some sneakers. The scandal. Exhibit B, the spiky hair. Sporting some sort of mohawk landed Crash squarely in the city limits of Attitudeville, population Crash Bandicoot and Mr. T. Number 3: the facial expressions of the character, both in animation and in his dopey expression plastered everywhere in the game. Compared to the facial expressions of his counterpart Mario, Crash could far better convey his empty-headedness to the world.


Not a whole lot going on upstairs...

However, these graphics and animations, which did indeed give a whole new depth of character that developers could unleash upon their creations, truly shined on the Playstation, whose power could handle such animations.

Bandicoot-backing on the praise of the character's facial expression and animation, the graphics as a whole in this game are superb. The background environments, textures, an characters are all very detailed and look quite good (for the time period). Unfortunately, t... Read the rest of this Review
The Lord of the Rings: Conquest
04-30-12 08:13 PM
LOTR: C, DMH
Just so you know, the review title stands for Lord of the Rings: Conquest, Destroy my Hopes. Why, you ask? Please, peruse the review below.

The Lord of the Rings being one of my favorite book series of all time, and the Star Wars Battlefront series being among my favorite Star Wars video games, when I heard they were coming together in what sounded like the bestest video game combination since Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games (I jest), I could hardly wait to buy Conquest. I could barely contain myself. Looking back, I now wish I had found some way to contain myself. Such as locking myself in a chest. Or nailing my thumbs to the floor.

Ok, ok, so it's not that bad. It's probably better than a lot of the drivel that passes for modern games nowadays. But it had such wonderful potential that falling short the way Conquest does makes it hurt all the more. I'll explain what could have been, what I had envisioned in my head before that vision was destroyed in the fires of Mt. Doom. I am Melee Unit #7. Not Aragorn, not Legolas. Just one grunt amidst an endless sea of grunts, ready to throw our grunt bodies against each other until one side overpowers the other. The battle begins, and I sprint forward with my fellow swordsmen, arrows flying at us from the enemy archers. We reach their ranks and we engage, with dozens of enemies and friends around me. Eventually I fall, but not before I rack up an impressive 10 kills. 10 for 1 ain't bad! I respawn as an archer, raining death from afar. But before I can cause much damage, an enemy scout materializes behind me and stabs me in the back, killing me instantly. Such is the life of an average grunt: short life span, terrible pay, and zero benefits. After a few other lives as a melee unit, I finally unlock the ability to control Gimli for a short (tee hee) while, and with him I lay waste to the enemy ranks, feeling just as powerful as I should when playing this bearded powerhouse. After a prolonged battle, my si... Read the rest of this Review
Donkey Kong Country Returns
04-30-12 07:08 PM
Donkey Kong Country Returns to the Top
Nintendo is at it again, bringing an old classic to the forefront with a modern-day upgrade, both in graphics and gameplay. But for a series that is so decidedly old-school (I mean come on, what can be more old school than Donkey Kong?) is a modern upgrade a welcome upgrade? In short: yes. In long: see below.

Donkey Kong has long been known for his platforming skills. He is a monkey after all. Natural born climbers, those monkeys. And he has never been more in his element than in Donkey Kong Country Returns. The ape swings, climbs, and jumps his way across many vibrant and colorful worlds populated with multiple enemies, and boy does he look good doing it. The graphics, controls, and platforming elements combine to form something that is greater than the sum of their parts. The graphics are good, the controls are spot on, and the platforming is so precise and razor sharp you could shave a monkey with it. Natural born shavers, those monkeys.

Watching the game in motion, you would not think you were controlling an ape; you would think you were controlling a ballerina mixed with a cannonball. It sounds like an odd combination, but with Donkey Kong, it works because you expect it from him; both powerful and precise. With practice, you will soon find yourself both alighting on tiny platforms that don't seem wide enough to support the large Kong and careening from cannon to cannon, blasting through the scenery like it is made of papier mache. My only qualm with the controls is the slight delay I felt when jumping with Donkey. It seemed to me that when I pressed the button to make the Kong jump, instead of instantly rocketing upwards, he decides to pick his nose first and then jump. This slight delay, very very slight delay, would normally not have been a big deal, but in a game where the jumping is such a central component and the jumping needs razor sharp precision, that slight delay can sometimes feel like a hindrance.

Speaking of scener... Read the rest of this Review
Battle Arena Toshinden
04-21-12 06:23 PM
Battle Arena Toshinden- Past KO'd
I remember playing this game in my youth at my cousin's house. He had it for the Gameboy and during family gatherings I would sneak away to play it rather than talk about Grandma's liver problems. As I really enjoyed it back then, I was excited to come back to it here on Vizzed. What I found was sadly not what I remember. It is the same game (I didn't lose that much of my memory when I was kicked in the head by that rampaging donkey) but the fun I had was nothing compared to the joy that tore me away from listening to my aunts bicker over who's casserole was more crumbly.

Pokemon Pinball - Ruby & Sapphire
03-07-12 09:03 PM
Ruby and Sapphire Pinball: A Real Gem
This game embodies everything about both genres it contains, the pinball genre and the collecting genre. Clearly it follows the collecting genre Pokemon has become famous for, as there is a huge myriad of Pokemon available for capture. Pokemon prides itself on the "just-one-more" philosophy: just one more Pokemon, just one more gym. The pinball genre also draws on the "one more game" idea, mostly because pinball machines were made to make money by enticing the player with just one more game, just one more round, and thus more quarters for the machine. The two genres, pinball and Pokemon, combine brilliantly in this one game to make for a super addicting, oh so glad I don't pay quarters for every game experience.

Graphics: 9

The graphics maintain the Pokemon feel very well, with each sprite lively, colorful, and delightful to see. The pokeball moves fluidly around the table, not slowing down the framerate even when the pinball action reaches critical mass. I've seen lesser pinball games' framerates absolutely chug to a halt during frenetic gameplay, and I was pleased that this one did not.

Sound: 8

The sound once again immediately calls to mind Pokemon. The cries of the Pokemon are exactly like the other Pokemon games, and the pinball effects are timed perfectly, without delay between sight and sound.

Addictiveness: 10

This is where this game really shines. Everything about this game made me want to play another. One more Pokemon to catch, maybe I can beat my high score this time, one more one more one more. Not to mention the fact that the game has a Pokedex for you to fill out. So many wasted nights. But no regrets.

Story: 8

Standard Pokemon fare here. Gotta catch em all in pinball pokeballs. No great shakes, but hey, it's worked for every single Pokemon game so far, right?

Depth: 8

There is a massive amount of stuff to do in this game. Pokemon to catch, locations to travel to... Read the rest of this Review
Fortress
12-10-11 06:00 PM
Fortress (GBA): Not Solid
This is a classic example of a great concept poorly executed. The premise is that you are a little caveman. Or knight. Or pirate. Or spaceman (there are four different eras to play in. Exciting!). Another little caveman or etc. sits across from you. So what do you do? No! Not befriend him! You need to establish your territory! Build a fortress! And when he starts building one next to you, you need to try to knock his fortress down! Clearly.

See what I mean? Sounds like a fun idea: build your own fort while trying to demolish your opponent's. And it's all done by dropping oddly shaped blocks to form large rectangles, ala Tetris? Brilliant! But that's where the fun stops. Sure, the Tetris style building is solid, and it is fun to see your castle erect itself when you connect large squares of blocks. But the offensive bit where you try to knock down your opponent's fort is where this game falls flat. There is no indication what you have to do in order to receive offensive weaponry (I read later that you get one for reaching point milestones) but even armed with that knowledge, it still seemed arbitrary whenever I would receive a cannon with which to pulverize my opponent. And I had absolutely no idea how to summon a creature like my AI opponent was currently doing. Apparently you have to build a stack of 8x2 blocks. None of this is intuitive, and there is no tutorial to explain it all. Even then, once you amass your fortress and begin the slaughter of your opponent's caveman, you cannot watch his demise. Your camera is firmly locked on your own fortress as you clumsily stack blocks away. The one time, the one and only time I actually summoned a dragon (purely on accident, by the way) I wanted to watch it demolish the other guy. But I couldn't. The only satisfaction I received was the sound of dragon destruction, and my point tally increasing slightly.

So in essence this game could have been great, but it falls short in execution. The idea is extremely... Read the rest of this Review
Mario Party Advance
12-08-11 05:59 PM
Mario Party Advanced: Doesn't Advance
The Mario Party series is a staple of Nintendo, first debuting on the N64, and quickly becoming a behemoth of a franchise, with iterations on every Nintendo system since, as well as holding the record for the longest running mini-game series around. Most of these games have taken place on consoles, where multiplayer could support a somewhat flimsy single-player mode. But on the GameBoy Advance, a device built for solo play, how will the Mario Party Franchise hold up on its own?

The answer is a mixed bag. To their credit, the developers of Mario Party Advance understood that there would have to be some fundamental changes in the game coming from a multiplayer-centric design ala the previous Mario Party games and going into a solo world. Gone are the competitions for coins and stars. Instead, you simply play to keep on playing, with each win in a mini-game adding to your stash of dice rolls so that you can move your character around the board (by him/herself) to tackle fetch or other types of quests (by him/herself). The challenge, then, of this game comes not from beating out your three other opponents, but from beating the clock, beating the computer, beating whatever obstacle is placed in your way throughout the course of your session. Each victory allows you more dice rolls which means a greater potential to complete the games multiple quests.

Yes, instead of collecting stars, Mario and his friends are out collecting and completing quests, such as "Bring me a DvD" (I'm not joking). This is where the majority of the game fell short for me. The minigames, as the case always is with a Mario Party game, are quite fun to play and these single-player outings are not worse for their lack of extra players. But as they serve simply as the means to obtain dice rolls, and the meat of the game is driving around the board completing the quests, I am left feeling bored as completing the most fun part of the game (the mini-games) means I get to spend more time ... Read the rest of this Review
Super Mario Kart
11-20-11 03:07 PM
Mario Karting 101
This is the game that both launched and set the standard for the kart racing genre. There had been racing games like it (F-Zero) but none that took racing in a more fun-loving and casual way. Meant to be played with two players simultaneously as opposed to F-Zero's single player only, it was the start of what would soon become one of Nintendo's hallmark multiplayer showcases.

Graphics: 9

The Mode 7 graphics are what's on display here, with Nintendo showing off the power of its hardware, its ability to create pseudo-3D graphics with the scanline by scanline rotation and scaling made possible by the Mode 7 graphics mode. It was an early attempt at 3D graphics that did its job well. While it is difficult to have a real sense of depth and plan your route to pick up coins or dodge hazards, the Mode 7 graphics give the game a great sense of speed, of rushing forward as opposed to running or platforming from side to side.

Sound: 9

The music is standard Mario fare, with the background music not overpowering and yet you still find yourself humming it from time to time. The roulette music that plays while waiting for an item to be chosen in particular stands out as it is used in every single Mario Kart game after it, and when I here that music, I immediately know that someone's about to get the turtle shell smackdown.

Addictiveness: 9

The tracks can be played on your own, which is all fine and dandy, as there are a good number of tracks. But this game was really meant to be played with a friend, and with the addition of a buddy to compete against, this game could keep you coming back for quite a long time.

Story: NA

There is no story, unless you want to count Mario getting his buds together for some serious kart action. That could be a story.

Depth: 9

Similar to the addictiveness of this review, it all hinges on the multiplayer. Having someone to play this game with extends its depth imm... Read the rest of this Review
Super Mario Land 2 - 6 Golden Coins
11-13-11 09:24 PM
Super Mario Land 2: Golden
Among the various Mario titles on the GameBoy, I place this on the very
top. Though it is a short affair, and not very difficult, it offers up
the most unique environments in a Mario game up to this point.



Graphics: 9



The graphics really shine, though only on the primitive GameBoy. The
environments, as mentioned before, are very intense, varied, and
specific. The accompanying graphics capture each environment perfectly,
whether it is the dark and surprisingly sadistic Pumpkin Zone, or the
oddly yet appropriately mechanical Mario Zone. The environments never
feel stale and make great use of the hardware that the GameBoy has to
offer. The amount of detail that could be packed into a game made
entirely of primitive pixels continues to amaze me.



Sound: 10



Surprisingly, this aspect of the game was what I found most enjoyable.
Each environment has a wonderful set of background music, magnificently
accentuating the experience. Whether it is a woodsy type song for Tree
Zone, or a bubbly song for the Turtle Zone, the songs are immediately
recognizable and make you think "Yeah, this is a tree. Or a pumpkin. Or
the moon."



Addictiveness: 7



Yeah, this game is fun and all, but it's really not all that long. Sure
there are a few hidden paths to discover through the levels, but even
with those the game is very short. It is hard to recommend more than a
couple of play throughs, because once you've played the game all the way
through once, you know where every enemy will be and how to counter
them.



Story: 9



Ok, so the story is much more of a setting, in which Mario must gather six macguffins
to unlock the gate TO HIS OWN CASTLE in order to kick Wario out of HIS
OWN CASTLE. It's just my own opini... Read the rest of this Review
Donkey Kong
10-31-11 01:52 AM
Donkey Kong: Funky Monkey
This game was my childhood. This was literally the very first video game I ever played. I spent many a car ride staring down at that pixelated screen, dodging barrels and climbing vines as my parents dragged us off to wherever we were going. I think this was probably one of the most perfect games to be published on this platform, both in terms of its gameplay and graphics, which are superb, and in terms of its difficulty and structure.

The gameplay is Mario doing what he does best: jumping, climbing, and swinging the occasional hammer. The controls are tight and fine tuned. Almost every time I died I knew that I had perished by my own fault. I say almost because there was the occasional level (here's looking at you, Airplane level...) where some jumps seemed impossibly long and I just could not get the right combination of staying on the ground long enough but not long enough to fall in a bottomless pit. The graphics are delightful, with Donkey Kong's wild expressions stealing the show over Mario's stoic 'stache.

The sound is wonderful, with each themed level coming with its own theme set, perfectly nuanced to remind exactly where you are. In case you forgot, that Egyptian sounding music means you're still on the Pyramid level. And that music that plays before every boss fight... I got excited every time I heard it, even though it was so short and simple.

The structure and difficulty were perfectly made for the Gameboy insomuch as the save points were set at every four levels. It was the perfect pick up and play for a short period game, and when you were bored, you could put it down and save it for later very easily, because you would only go back a maximum of three levels. With the Gameboy's small size and Donkey Kong's easy to save for later structure, the two were made for each other.

And really, even if you had to go back those three levels, it's not like it would take you that long to beat them again. After all, this is mostl... Read the rest of this Review

kabenon007's Last 7 Game screenshots (201 total) (view last 250)

kabenon007's Game History
Chrono Trigger (snes),   Chrono Trigger (snes),   Chrono Trigger (snes),   Chrono Trigger (snes),   Pokemon Snap (n64),   Legend of Zelda, The - A Link to the Past (snes),   Mario & Luigi - Superstar Saga (gba),   Super Mario World (snes),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   R-Type (tg),   Tales of Phantasia (gba),   Metroid Fusion (gba),   Metroid Fusion (gba),   Pokemon Gold - Emu Edition (gbc),   Pokemon Gold - Emu Edition (gbc),   Pokemon Gold - Emu Edition (gbc),   Pokemon Gold - Emu Edition (gbc),   Pokemon Gold - Emu Edition (gbc),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Harvest Moon - Friends of Mineral Town (gba),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),   Ogre Battle 64 - Person of Lordly Caliber (n64),  
 
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